Saturday, November 30, 2013

from a cold morning to...

today is one of those days where i always love being a sports fan. the big game at noon between Ohio State and the school up north, a HUGE game between Alabama and Auburn, which if the right team wins, Ohio State could have a chance to play for the national championship, to the New York Rangers former coach coming back to MSG. hopefully my anger today will be at a minimum and the victory beers will be flowing.

it was pretty damn cold when i went out to feed the cats this morning. i also put air in the flat tire on the truck. figured i better do it this morning seeing that Manchester United plays at 7 tomorrow morning. sadly, i do believe tomorrow i will report the news of a "death" of yet another cat. been over a month since i've seen her. and she was one of the ones that never went anywhere.

i did enjoy a little college basketball last night. anytime Duke loses i'm happy. that Arizona team is going to be scary good come March. also caught the last few minutes of Villanova upsetting #2 Kansas. so much parody this year, it should be a long crazy season.

i also flipped between all the college football games. some great endings, that's for sure.

my sister is getting ready to leave. she wants to get back home while most of the traffic is headed in the other direction.

my high school football team won 54-7 last night. they will now play the high school LeBron James went to for the state championship. both teams are coming in on long winning streaks. should be interesting. thankfully, the game will be on television, so i won't be sitting in the cold.

Saturday Night Live is a rerun tonight, so ROH will be the only thing i will be staying up for. and as soon as that is over, i will be sleeping as fast as i can.

some injuries have popped up again on my fantasy football team. that lead to some scrambling this morning. always fun, especially when you need to win. plus, my fantasy hockey team is now dealing with the injury bug again. joy. i need a big day from those guys as it is a 5-5 week so far in fantasy hockey.

that's pretty much all for now. i will try to sneak in a new post after the United game tomorrow morning. hopefully it will be a happy one. i'm off to my day in front of the tv, eating leftovers for the second day in a row.

peace and chicken grease.


Nine Inch Nails - [With_Teeth]
Pantera - Far Beyond Driven

"Old age and treachery will always beat youth and exuberance." - David Mamet

response from Regardless Of Authority

i heard back from Michael at Regardless Of Authority on my poetry submission from earlier in the month. my poem "thoughts before pondering a crime" has been accepted for publication in ROA #4, due out on December 1st.

Friday, November 29, 2013

anger is a gift

my tolerance for people, ignorance, etc, always seems to be a little more thin than usual when the holidays roll around. while standing in line at the bank today listening to this old woman ask why the name of the old bank is still on her checks and neither teller is able to figure it out (maybe because she hasn't ordered any new checks since the merger you fucking dumb fucks) i could feel my blood begin to boil. my deposit was going fine until the lady helping me couldn't add correctly. and this is with a computer. i don't believe the world understands how lucky it is that i haven't decided to just kill everyone.

and that little episode put me in such a great mood for the Rangers game today. always fun to see them blow a third period lead in Boston and lose 3-2. just fucking great. they play again tomorrow at home. hopefully they decide they would actually like to pay the price it takes to win a fucking game against a good team in this league.

i picked all 3 NFL games correctly yesterday. so, i'm on a much better pace than last week. i'm leading in both of my fantasy football matches, though i certainly didn't need the injury to my running back last night. i'm hoping it's not really serious as he will play a huge role in any success i may have in the playoffs.

i did get all of my shopping done yesterday. all online. i think i ended up spending a little over $100. hopefully my mother and sister like what i got them. of course, if they don't, i couldn't really give a shit.

the rest of today will be some more sports and maybe a little writing. i'm home alone at the moment as the allure of shopping deals has lead my sister to dragging my mother out to the masses. i'm not sure if this is what the doctor had in mind when he told her to take it easy on her bruised ribs this weekend. i personally don't get the appeal of shopping with a bunch of rabid assholes looking to get the bottom dollar deal on some bullshit. of course, i've never really had money in my life where i could just blow it on anything at any time. not exactly sure what i would do if i did have that in my life.

hopefully the football team of the high school i graduated from wins tonight. i'd love to see them play for another state championship. i don't think they won more than 4 or 5 games when i was going there. how times have changed.

the weather is pretty cold here. at least there is no rain or snow. plenty of cold sunshine though.

i imagine i will be blogging tomorrow in the morning before Ohio State plays that shit school up north at high noon. i'm hoping they kill them but i have seen way too many perfect seasons get destroyed in this game to be overly confident.

hope everyone is well. hope you survived any shopping you may have done today. and i hope your family is either gone or not on your nerves yet.


Leonard Cohen - I'm Your Man
Beth Orton - Sugaring Season
Van Morrison - Astral Weeks

and finally, the birthday boy, still inexplicably playing at a world class level at the age of 40

"There's never been completion in my football career because I've always been striving for that next thing." - Ryan Giggs

Thursday, November 28, 2013


here is how i have started this day for the last 15 years or so

my back locked up this morning and i got the shits from dinner last night/breakfast this morning. just the way i always want to spend a damn holiday. sadly, i figured my day would start this way after yesterday went so damn close to perfect. it was scary.

Manchester United showed that i had absolutely nothing to be worried about after they won 5-0 yesterday. a completely dominating win for all 90 minutes. i just wish they would play that way in the Premier League.

the New York Rangers responded nicely from their turd in Tampa with a 5-2 win at Florida. highlights are below:

the best part of last night was the Dayton Flyers. after the heartbreaking loss the night before, they responded as only i could have dreamed they would have. a dominating complete win over California, 82-64. the best part was the bench played out of their minds last night. and what i truly love about this team is the youth. they are all hungry and have attitudes in the good way. they want the world and they want it now. and i absolutely love freshmen who WANT to play defense. third place in the tourney and a well deserved few days off. hopefully they take this momentum and run with it.

not sure if i will do my laundry today as i'm not sure my back will allow that to happen. but, i do plan on getting my online Christmas shopping done while watching some football.

had a few unforeseen injuries in fantasy hockey last night that i truly didn't care for. always hate when i have to tinker with a team mid week. never fun.

well, for my other Thanksgiving tradition, here is the song that plays after the prayer:

a few things i am thankful for:

my mother and sister
that anyone actually reads this blog
for the wonderful people that publish my poetry
for the few friends that i actually have
and most of all...
that i finally learned to accept the pain

hope everyone has a great holiday. i will return tomorrow with adventures from the bank most likely.


William S. Burroughs - Dead City Radio
The Band - Greatest Hits

"The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest." - William Blake

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

heartbreak city

one of the things i have learned over my 30+ years of being a fanatical sports fan is when you have an incredible high, there is a 100% chance that a horrific low will be coming soon. that pretty much describes my night last night.

Dayton was winning against #18 Baylor by as many as 14 points in the first half. Baylor slowly chipped away and i got the feeling Dayton was playing not to lose instead of playing to win. and sure enough, Baylor wins by 1 when Dayton's shot rims out at the buzzer. talk about a punch to the gut. they play again tonight against California in the 3rd place game. i'm interested to see how they respond to that kind of loss.

my sister arrived last night, beating the shitty weather and traffic. she's doing some baking today. no blowups so far, so i'm hoping that our recent trend of being adults with each other will continue.

a busy sports day ahead for me. Manchester United plays in Germany today in Champions League play. when i read about the plane troubles yesterday, i immediately thought back to the air disaster they had back in 1958. i do not have a good feeling about this game today. hopefully i am wrong.

the New York Rangers play tonight against Florida at the same time the Dayton game will be on. i think basketball will win out for the most part. hopefully the Rangers have a better game than the last turd they had.

the sun is out today but it certainly looks cold as fuck outside. i still need to go out and feed the cats and birds. i'm going to wait until after noon, as it hopefully will be above 25 degrees by then.

i didn't get any of the players i wanted in fantasy football this morning. and given the 3 games tomorrow, this is a crazy week for all of that. i'm hoping for a better week than last week. my chances of making the playoffs depend on it.

i was looking for a good laugh this morning and i believe i found it:

if you are traveling today, be safe. if you are getting an early holiday drink on today, have another one. and if you are not in this country and have no clue what holiday is coming up here... hope you have a great Wednesday. i imagine i will blog sometime tomorrow between doing my laundry and watching some football. i don't participate in the whole family (cousins, uncles, aunts, etc.) shit on Thanksgiving. i really have no desire to spend any time around the woman that molested me. fun times.

be well.


The Allman Brothers Band - The Allman Brothers Band
George Jones - Super Hits
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Push The Sky Away

"Obey the principles without being bound by them." - Bruce Lee

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

so little sleep... who cares

let me get the negative shit from yesterday out of the way first. the New York Rangers played like shit last night, starting the game off in a fog and never really acting like they gave a shit at all. i'm sure this is exactly how the dads wanted the dad's trip to end. 5-0. i suppose the road winning streak had to end at some point.

Monday Night Raw was pretty good. i'm a little surprised they are going to unify the heavyweight titles at a non-major PPV. i always do enjoy when CM Punk gets on one of his rolls on the mic. and the actual wrestling has been pretty decent here for the last little while.

as the snowflakes were coming down and as i was watching the last little bit of the NFL game, my mother decided to go to bed. that meant, i had to keep my voice down while watching the Dayton Flyers at midnight. yeah right...

Dayton started off the game with the obvious jitters. they fell behind by as much as 16 points in the first half. now, they were playing the #11 team in the country (Gonzaga), but still... thankfully, they went on a little run to get the halftime deficit down to 9. and then, holy shit... they shot an amazing 61% in the second half, made some clutch free throws down the stretch and got a HUGE win. highlights below:

they get to play Baylor tonight on ESPN. another upset and they will be in the finals. fingers are crossed and i have tried to do everything just like i did yesterday... not that i believe in superstitions or anything like that.

the game got over at 2:30 and it took me a good 2 hours before the rush of adrenaline finally was gone. i did get some decent sleep though, almost 5 hours or so.

The Voice last night was really good. i have no fucking clue who will be in the bottom 3 tonight. the talent this year is slightly better than any of the previous seasons. and the performances from Jacquie and Will last night were holy shit amazing. there's no chance those 2 will be leaving tonight. and hats off to Will for having the guts to sing At Last. most men wouldn't dare.

i suppose i should actually start my Christmas shopping soon. as i look at the flat tire on my truck, i suppose it will be all online once again this year.

hope this finds everyone well. my sister is traveling here as i type. thank god there is plenty of wine in the house. it will be needed at some point i imagine.

peace and chicken grease...


Beastie Boys - Solid Gold Hits
Shrug - Whole Hog for the Macho Jesus
Guided By Voices - Bee Thousand
U2 - Rattle and Hum

"I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way." - Carl Sandburg

Monday, November 25, 2013

if i could turn back time...

talk about a Sunday to forget, for the most part, where do i begin?

Manchester United played a Cardiff team that they should have beaten easily. but, given all the injuries, i could understand a close win. but giving up a late goal for a 2-2 draw was mind fucking blowing to say the least. especially when United had a chance to win the game after that goal but Rooney decides to pass instead of taking on the goalie 1 on 1. always fun to blow a gasket on a Sunday morning and be pissed off for the rest of the day. guess what, still am actually.

my fantasy football day shit the bed as well. i only had 4 players all day long score touchdowns. how i managed to get a split in the results is beyond me.

what sort of saved my day from being one i wanted to brush my teeth with a shotgun was the season finale of Boardwalk Empire. holy shit, that was good. so many twists, bringing up shit from previous seasons and opening up huge storylines for the next season. just fucking brilliant.

Total Divas is basically just a hour where my brain gets some time off.

Homeland was crazy and outlandish. and the more the show gets like that, the more i think it is closer to the truth than anyone wants to realize.

Masters of Sex was pretty good as well. my eyes were struggling at this point of the night but i made it through.

i got some decent sleep, waking up this morning feeling somewhat refreshed. and then after the morning piss and seeing blood on the toilet seat that wasn't there before i sat down, started another whirlwind. i guess i had another blood blister that somehow got popped in my sleep. i always figured i'm a bad sleeper.

after dealing with that i had breakfast, which gave me the shits. why wouldn't it at this point. so, 2 pills later and i am hopefully stopped up for the next 24 hours. i imagine if i didn't have the outlet of writing and be comfortable enough to share all the horrific details, i would be yet another suicide. of course, i never tend to have any fucking clue what the future holds for me.

tonight will be another busy night. the New York Rangers play down in Tampa. hopefully the road winning streak continues. The Voice is live with the top 8 performing. Monday Night Raw is usually pretty interesting the night after a PPV. then, 1 hour after that ends, the Dayton Flyers play Gonzaga out in Maui. who knows what time i will be getting to sleep if they pull off the upset. if they get blown out, i will have no problems falling asleep. lose a game they could have won and i'll be up all night.

i'm hoping a few victory beers this evening puts me to sleep quickly.

i have absolutely no intention of watching the NFL game tonight. this was the absolute worst week of picking games EVER for me. going into tonight, i am 4-9 for the week. holy fuck, what a horrible day.thank god i don't gamble any longer. i'd be broke and have plenty of broken bones at the moment.

well, enough of my fucking rambling. hope this finds everyone well. my sister is coming down for the holiday week tomorrow night. let the dysfunction begin...


Black Sabbath - Heaven and Hell
Anthrax - Worship Music
Metallica - Beyond Magnetic

"He that cannot reason is a fool. He that will not is a bigot. He that dare not is a slave." - Andrew Carnegie

Sunday, November 24, 2013

a chilly Sunday morning

what i am doing up after yet another night of less than 4 hours sleep is beyond me. Manchester United plays here in a little bit, so let me get this going.

Ohio State played pretty good yesterday. gave up way too many yards for my liking, but they won 42-14. not bad for most of the game being played in a snow storm. sets them up nicely for next week against that shit school up north.

the New York Rangers got their 6th straight win on the road last night, 2-0. second straight shutout for the backup goalie. not bad for an undrafted 26 year old who played college hockey in Alabama. here are the highlights:

somehow, i was able to stay awake for Saturday Night Live and ROH last night. i thought SNL was pretty damn funny at times. i think the new cast is finally clicking. ROH last night was excellent. was great to see an incredible match between Eddie Edwards and Jay Lethal. as good as any match i've seen in the last few months.

after that, i got on the computer and started plotting out what i was going to get my family for Christmas. mom told me what she was getting my sister and that certainly changed my plans. but, after a few hours i think i have it all figured out. fingers crossed.

i certainly wasn't thrilled to be going to bed at 4 in the morning once again and waking up this morning around 8. i know damn well i'm too old for this shit now. maybe i'll sneak in a nap during football today. or maybe not.

i am looking forward to the season finale of Boardwalk Empire tonight. it looks like it should be a great one. i really have no interest in the new shows coming up on HBO after it, so that will allow me to readjust my Sunday night viewing. Total Divas, Homeland, and Masters of Sex, in that order. all in all, i should be getting to bed much earlier this evening.

plus, both of my fantasy football matches will be over by the end of the night... not sure if that's good or bad. i have a really slim lead in fantasy hockey going into this evening. my goalies kind of shit the bed last night. oh well, i'll still be in first place by the start of next week.

the New York Yankees signing Brian McCann yesterday certainly caught me off guard. hopefully he can stay healthy. he certainly fills a HUGE hole at catcher. and the terms aren't as bad as i thought they could be. hopefully that's a sign of good things to come.

and finally, i was really saddened this morning with the news of Wanda Coleman's death. one of my favorite poets and certainly one of the better ones i ever had the privilege of being published with. she will certainly be missed.,0,3349194.story#axzz2lZfoBvZ5

until tomorrow...


Johnny Cash - At Folsom Prison

"I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat." - Edgar Allan Poe

Saturday, November 23, 2013

not the start of the weekend i was hoping for

i am a competitive asshole. anything i do, i either have to win or it is a complete waste of my fucking time. so, in typical asshole style last night, i started playing some pool game on the computer. and after losing for forever it seemed like, the competitive asshole switch got flipped on and i was fucking playing that game until i won. 3:30 in the morning, i had finally won. i started playing this game sometime around midnight. i looked at the time when i got done and just thought, fuck me. i still had email to go through and hopefully some sleep to get. i went to bed around 4 and woke up before 9 this morning. my back was killing me. i figured it was due to me being tired, and then i looked outside. a nice hard frost on everything as it got down to the teens last night. so, as you might imagine, i am full of fucking joy at the moment.

if i somehow make it to Saturday Night Live and ROH this evening fully awake, it will be a minor miracle.

Ohio State plays this afternoon against Indiana. i really wouldn't mind if they put up around 60 or 70 points today.

that game should lead right into the New York Rangers playing in Nashville. hopefully they can keep the winning ways on the road going.

this will be the make or break day for fantasy hockey for the week. i need another strong day of performances to pretty much wrap up another successful week. and speaking of fantasy sports, i made a decision this morning on the injured players on my fantasy football teams. when someone is probable on the Friday injury report, that means there is a 100% chance they are playing on Sunday. when someone is questionable on that report, that means it will be a game time decision. well, the injured player on my teams with that designation plays the late game Sunday night. so, sadly he's on my bench this week. knowing my luck, he ends up playing Sunday night and scores a couple of touchdowns. that's just the shit i will have to live with as i'd rather go with the guys i know will be playing. fingers are crossed.

the Gary Clark Jr. interview last night flew by. it was great as was he. i truly do believe he is the future of blues music.

Manchester United plays tomorrow morning, so i will probably be blogging before that happens; as that game will go right into the NFL games. and i will be in the hyper bitchy loud as fuck kind of mood tomorrow. especially if i have to wait for a few hours for my first fantasy touchdown of the day. never a good sign.

well, that's all for me. i can't decide if i'm going to take a nap before the Ohio State game or just start drinking now and pass out later. decisions, decisions.

hope this finds everyone well. peace and chicken grease.


The Ragged Jubilee - B-Sides
St. Paul & The Broken Bones - Greetings From St. Paul & The Broken Bones
William Fitzsimmons - NoiseTrade Sampler

"There is no refuge from memory and remorse in this world. The spirits of our foolish deeds haunt us, with or without repentance." - Gilbert Parker

Friday, November 22, 2013

drowning in nostalgia...

i am a man (stop laughing) that loves history. but i don't particularly enjoy going back and revisiting or revising or even rewriting history. and considering that today is the 50th year anniversary of JFK being assassinated, it was a little hard to escape. don't get me wrong, history in the moment i will eat with a damn spoon. take 9/11 for instance, i didn't sleep for a week. i had the tv on every second of every day just devouring the news. but, 10 years later, i didn't think about it longer than a few minutes. i know about the past, i'm not too fond of living in it. sadly, i'm not sure i can say the same for many people; today being one of the greatest examples of drowning in nostalgia.

now, all that being said, i did observe the moment of silence today. and then i went back to stuffing my face with food.

was a little bummed when i read today that John Prine has been diagnosed with lung cancer. they believe they caught it early, but how many damn times can one man beat that disease? here's one of my favorites from him:

on to better news... i really enjoyed The Big Bang Theory last night. the writing on that show consistently amazes me.

the New York Rangers got an incredible performance from The King last night. Rick Nash scored his first goal of the season. all in a 3-2 much needed win. highlights below:

i picked the NFL game correctly last night, but i was torn. the QB for New Orleans is my fantasy QB for my team. but, he's my opponent's QB in my CBS league. quite the dilemma. i have a 23 point lead in one and a 30 point deficit to make up in the other. it will be a stressful weekend to say the least.

and the weather is going to turn here with lows in the teens. lovely.

i think i'm going to try to watch an interview with Gary Clark Jr. this evening on DIRECTV. other than that, i will probably be checking the internet to see how the high school i graduated from is doing in the high school football playoffs. one win away from another trip to the final 4.

that's all for me. i will probably be back on here sometime before Ohio State plays tomorrow. hope everyone has a great weekend.


Foy Vance - Joy of Nothing
Bruce Springsteen - The Essential Bruce Springsteen
Shooter Jennings - Put the O Back in Country
John Prine - In Person & On Stage
Tom Waits - Small Change
John Fogerty - The Long Road Home

"I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap." - Rodney Dangerfield

Thursday, November 21, 2013

one of those days where the darkness just sneaks up on you...

let me start a blog post off for once with something positive. i listened to the Dayton Flyers take on Georgia Tech down in Atlanta last night. Dayton started off the game asleep at the wheel, getting down 7-0 in the first minute or so. unlike last year, panic never settled in. they battled back and eventually got the lead, finishing the first half on a 15-2 run. up 7 at the break. and the thing i loved the most about this game, the lead never got down below 5 in the second half. Dayton wins 82-72. 3 players had career highs. HUGE road win. should make the flight out to Maui much easier on the legs. next game is Monday at Midnight against Gonzaga. if they pull off that upset, i will be ape shit nuts about this team. this does mark 10 years since the last time Dayton went out there for that tournament. (they won it by the way)

my mother had an interesting experience last night. around 8 or so, she called the plumbing place wanting to know what the fuck was going on. turns out the secretary told the plumber my mother had cancelled the appointment. needless to say, we now have a $75 credit with the company and the plumber came out here today and everything is fine now. the plumber did apologize, more or less saying the secretary was having "one of those days" yesterday. i laughed and told him no biggie, shit happens. it's all good now. especially since all of this work has been under warranty.

been hunting for info all day long on my injury concerns for fantasy football. 2 of my guys practiced, which is a huge relief. that usually means they will play on Sunday. as for the other one, i'll have to just wait until the inactives for tonight are listed. and then hope to hell my internet isn't slow.

American Horror Story was excellent last night. a couple of twists i didn't see coming. next episode is in 2 weeks.

i am looking forward to The Big Bang Theory this evening. after that, it will be flipping the channels between the NFL game and the New York Rangers playing in Dallas. hopefully both results are in my favor.

i did make a couple of moves today in fantasy hockey. i am hoping they help my team immediately as i am on the verge of running away with the regular season.

a quick cat update: the one that usually goes missing for weeks on end did show up today. i figure it wanted a full meal before the next storm rolls in. no sign of the other one. i guess i will be checking all the usual "dead" spots after this weekend. at least i haven't smelled any signs of death here lately. there's nothing that will stain the nose forever like that smell.

that is all for me today. hope everyone is well.


Foster The People - Torches
Grouplove - Never Trust a Happy Song
Fun. - Some Nights
Nine Inch Nails - Hesitation Marks

"Courage is never to let your actions be influenced by your fears." - Arthur Koestler

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

the waiting game

was told the plumber would be here today after 3:30 in the afternoon. we're now at the 2 hours past that time, so they have that right. but i highly doubt he's showing up after 6 pm. but shit, it's only been 5 weeks since he was supposed to last show up, what's another day or so. FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

the New York Rangers lost last night, 2-1. they did just about everything right but score more goals. i still believe they will start consistently burying their chances SOON. Rick Nash looked pretty damn good for his first game in 6 weeks. and he felt good today at practice, so hopefully the concussion is behind him now.

i did get to watch the highlights of the USA loss to Austria yesterday. why the whole world doesn't have goal line technology in 2013 is beyond me. the USA clearly got hosed on what would have been the opening goal of the game.

the 2 that went home last night on The Voice didn't really surprise me. i thought Austin was going home last week and Kat was in the bottom 3 for the second week in a row. but now, with just 8, it's going to be cutthroat from now on. my best guess is that Matthew will win it all this season. the guy is beyond talented.

the Dayton Flyers play at Georgia Tech tonight. instead of fucking with the internet and watching the game on ESPN3, i think i will just listen on the radio. i'd love for them to upset their former coach tonight but i highly doubt they will pull it off. probably a close game though, hopefully.

i'm looking forward to American Horror Story tonight. one of my favorite shows on television right now.

i've got way too many injuries to deal with this week in fantasy football. i might have to give up some players i don't want to to make sure i can have a full team for this week. not fun, especially when you really need to win both matches this week to solidify playoff positions. the fun of checking twitter accounts of beat reporters and NFL insiders will start late tonight.

been missing the same 2 cats at feeding time for the last 3 days. kind of weird. not sure if they are hiding or enjoying a siesta away from the farm. the one usually goes missing for weeks on end and then shows. the other, not so much. we should have some bad weather rolling in over the weekend. if they aren't around when that happens, i'll definitely start to think that they are gone.

that's all for me today. hope everyone is well and warm.


Father John Misty - Fear Fun
Valerie June - Pushin' Against a Stone
Gary Clark Jr. - Blak and Blu
Rhye - Woman

"Progress is a nice word. But change is its motivator. And change has its enemies." - Robert Kennedy

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

better news than i expected

had a holy shit moment this afternoon. my eyes aren't as bad as i expected. i don't have to get new glasses, so that saves some money. thought for sure i was going to get fucked on that deal.

after the eye appointment, mom and i went to the sports bar and caught the last few minutes of afternoon soccer. i didn't get to see the USA lose to Austria (1-0) but i did see Portugal and France qualify for the World Cup.

i did see bits and pieces of The Voice last night but not enough to really have an opinion. i think there are 3 or 4 that can win it and the rest of them are on the same level. i have no clue who is going to get eliminated tonight.

Monday Night Raw held my attention for most of the evening. the main event was spectacular. and i nearly shit my pants when CM Punk and Rey Mysterio shook hands at the end of the evening. hell froze over for sure at that moment. they had one of the best feuds in the last decade. real, personal shit. quite the show to go into the Survivor Series PPV.

the New York Rangers play tonight. Rick Nash comes back tonight from his latest concussion. hopefully he can stay healthy for the rest of the season. my fantasy hockey team would certainly like that. i would love for the Rangers to win tonight as they play Boston.

other than that, i believe i will be checking out some PBS later this evening.

and i did get a good amount of sleep last night. so, i will probably be up late tonight. if the energy is still there, maybe i'll get some writing done. i am pretty pleased that the 2 latest poems i have had accepted/published are brand new.

i'm listening to Kevin Steen on the Wrestling with Depression podcast at the moment. laughing my ass off.

hope this finds everyone well. until tomorrow, when the plumber supposedly makes his return 5 weeks after he was supposed to. good times.


Massive Attack - Mezzanine

"Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself." - Dick Cavett

where the corn once was

my poem "where the corn once was" was published at Dead Snakes. you can find the poem by going here:

Monday, November 18, 2013

the wicked wind...

the wind has been absolutely brutal today. from blowing the trash from the assholes across the road onto our property and halfway up the damn lane, to blowing the barn doors open twice after i finally got them shut, to knocking my mother down as she was trying to leave the house this morning. hopefully this shit will become a breeze or less in the next few hours.

i'm amazed i'm still going. i think i'm running on something around 3 hours of sleep. and i didn't take a nap this afternoon. i should be nice and cranky by this evening. and if i don't get some decent sleep tonight, i can just imagine the grouch i will be tomorrow during my eye appointment. i'll get to see how bad my eyes really are now. my worries are it is time for bifocals. 37 going on 70.

after doing the dishes today and figuring out what song i heard on the radio while i was doing them (Lipbone Redding - The Love You Save) i settled in for the latest WTF podcast. i was totally geeked for this one as CM Punk was the guest. as a huge wrestling fan, most of the shit discussed i already knew. i did get some unknown behind the scenes details from his huge promo a few years ago. that was really cool. i highly recommend giving it a listen.

other than that, today has been a day of music and porn. was hoping something would trigger some words falling out of me onto a page today... instead all my thoughts ended up in a towel.

tonight will be the usual hodgepodge of Monday Night Raw and The Voice. not exactly sure which will get the majority of my attention.

i should watch some of the NFL game tonight, but i know damn well i probably won't until real late. i'm still a little disgusted with fantasy football at the moment. thankfully, my fantasy hockey team is still rolling. first place overall in the league over on hopefully that will continue.

that's pretty much all for me today. i'm off to go waste some time putting needless shit on my wish list. hope this finds everyone well, or at least well enough.

peace and chicken grease.


Pixies - Doolittle
Social Distortion - Social Distortion
Jamey Johnson - That Lonesome Song
Van Halen - Van Halen II

"Canada was built on dead beavers." - Margaret Atwood

a quick synopsis of chaos

first, where my weekend left off from the previous post. Saturday Night Live had a few good moments but most of the show was just so so. ROH was spectacular. if i could have found more time this weekend, i would have watched it all over again.

now, for my Sunday... spent most of the day under a Tornado Watch. luckily, all we got was some wind and a ton of rain. no flooding, but the ditch was full. i did see a few branches down as i was taking down the trash 45 minutes ago.

my fantasy football day was beyond frustrating. not many touchdowns and way too many injuries. that being said, i still managed to win one of my matches. the other one will take a miracle on Monday Night Football.

the New York Rangers lost to the Kings 1-0. i watched enough of the game to know they had plenty of chances to win, just ran into a hot goalie. shit happens. the good news is Rick Nash will be back in the lineup soon.

the Sunday night shows were good. Boardwalk Empire had a few lovely twists at the end of the show. Eastbound and Down made me howl at the last few minutes. holy shit cameos and the perfect way to end the show. Homeland was brilliant, especially with the ending. Masters of Sex was pretty good but to be honest, by that point my eyes were trying to close on me. Total Divas made me laugh out loud. just the fucked up lives of professional wrestlers i suppose.

kudos to DIRECTV for the alert system they have. it certainly got my fucking attention when the tornado warning went up. i don't believe any twisters hit around here but i know Indiana and Illinois got hit pretty hard. i suppose when i wake up here in a few hours i'll get a better sense of the damage.

right now, i'm just hoping the trash stays in one place and i am asleep in the next 10 minutes.

hope everyone had a great weekend, all things considered. i'm off to go find a warm blanket as this cold front has dropped the temps by 30 degrees.


Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - Live from Alabama
Tei Shi - Saudade
Shannon Labrie - Just Be Honest
St. Paul & The Broken Bones - Greetings from St. Paul & The Broken Bones

"There's no such thing as simple. Simple is hard." - Martin Scorsese

Saturday, November 16, 2013

couldn't ask for much more...

so my day today started off with a trip to the post office. i had some registered mail waiting for me. i bet the people in this small town shit their pants when they see i have mail from India waiting for me. got the issue of Miracle Magazine i'm in. it looks great.

then off to the Dayton Flyers game. they easily played their best game of the season so far, 78-58 win. hopefully they take the good feeling and play a great game against their old coach in their first road game on Wednesday.

next was a trip to the sports bar to catch the second half of the Ohio State game. the defense was hurt and it certainly showed. but, anytime your offense can put up 60, you should be fine. 60-35 win. 22nd straight win. not too bad.

a trip to the tractor supply store to get cat food and bird food (or mostly to use the 10% off coupon) and then a trip to the grocery store. i was kind of shocked that mom and i were able to get the shopping done be out of the store before it got dark.

then on the way home we stopped at the guy's house who farms out here to get the checks for the corn. always love when there is 2 numbers to the left of the comma. a pretty damn good year. enough to pay the bills, the taxes, and survive the winter if the apocalypse hits.

got the groceries put away in time to watch the New York Rangers in Montreal. thankfully, AV started the backup goalie tonight. a HUGE 1-0 shutout. first win up there since god knows when. hopefully they keep up the good playing tomorrow back at home against the Kings.

but, since this is my life, it can't all be rosy. my friend Imodium was called on earlier tonight as my stomach started acting up again. not sure if it was the beer, the chicken, or simply i was having too good of a time. thankfully, my friend always works.

so, on the docket for the rest of the evening is some college football, a new episode of Saturday Night Live, a new episode of ROH, and then sleep. got a busy day tomorrow to go along with the wind advisory we will have going on tomorrow.

can't wait to take out the trash after i've watched all the Sunday night shows. hopefully the wind will have passed by then. most of my fantasy football matches will be over by Sunday night. chances are i blog again around that time.

i am really looking forward to the series finale of Eastbound and Down tomorrow night. i fully expect it to be the craziest episode of the show ever. other than that, the usual of Boardwalk Empire, Homeland, Total Divas, and Masters of Sex will be on tap. as well as a football game and a hockey game that i will need to pay attention to. good thing my mom has put the laptop out by the television.

ok, enough of my rambling. until tomorrow, if mother nature allows...


Metallica - S&M

"It's okay to be a freak." - Lisa Bonet

Friday, November 15, 2013

why technology and me don't get along...

i spent the majority of the afternoon/early evening setting up the wi-fi on the television. i know i should have done this years ago when mom purchased it. but i figured my sister would do it, or my mother, and of course, neither one did. and the beauty of it truly is by the time i got it set up, and all the updates happened, and i went online to confirm everything, the shit i wanted to see was over. and it looks like i won't be able to do what i wanted to with it to begin with. but, i did manage to look at one of my own YouTube videos on it, so i guess not all was lost.

as the television was constantly rebooting, i was watching team USA take on Scotland in a friendly. one of the more boring games i have sat through. 0-0 with a Tim Howard save being really the only action of the game. i think they play next Tuesday in Austria.

The Big Bang Theory was pretty funny last night. i absolutely love the writing on that show.

i picked the NFL game right last night but of course, the guy who had the most fantasy points was sitting on my bench. fuck me.

my tomorrow will be pretty busy. at noon i have another college basketball game to go to. this is happening at the same time Ohio State is playing. so i imagine everyone will be breaking out their smartphones to check the scores. i of course, being the too cool for that kind of shit type of guy, will have prying eyes and ears while watching the game. i honestly believe if i got a cell phone the earth may fucking explode. so, after the game, it's a little lunch and then grocery shopping. so, i'm going to try to get a nice buzz on at lunch so i don't kill anyone in the store. after all that, come back home and get ready for the annual horror show of the New York Rangers playing in Montreal. and then of course some college football, Saturday Night Live, and ROH.

so, needless to say, i will be turning in early this evening. early being sometime before 2 am.

not sure when i will be blogging tomorrow. i'm sure some smart ass is saying to themselves right now, well, if you had a mobile device genius... yes, yes, i know.

oh, for those who are wondering, the wine came late as fuck last night and it was a guy that looked like me delivering it. and people wonder why my poems are the way they are.

hope everyone has a great weekend. mine will depend on sports teams and a huge cold front moving through. i just love putting the trash out at 2 in the morning.

peace and chicken grease.


Pearl Jam - Philadelphia, PA 10/31/2009

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Anais Nin

response from The Camel Saloon

i heard back from Russell at The Camel Saloon on my poetry submission from yesterday. my poem "higher on the priority list" has been accepted for publication.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

with the creative juices flowing...

let me get the poetry shit out of the way to begin with. i sent out 16 poems this morning, 3 each to Dead Snakes and The Camel Saloon; 5 each to BoySlut and Regardless Of Authority. when i hear back from these places i will pass along the verdicts.

also, got an email from my friend in Sweden, the artist Janne Karlsson. it appears there might be a good chance that the project we did together may see the light of day in 2014. as of right now, it looks like Epic Rites is the lucky winner to publish it. of course, as a veteran of this world, i know nothing is concrete until you are holding it in your hands. so, i am happy but my fingers are still crossed like a motherfucker. also, Janne was kind enough to send me some pics of my poem "when insanity meets the evening news" in the October edition of the magazine Klar (Norway). below are the pictures:

the Dayton Flyers won last night 70-56. sadly, they once again played like shit, playing down to their competition until a 16-2 run ended the game. if they don't figure out how to play to their potential quickly, they are going to get embarrassed soon. probably on this coming Saturday against a team they should easily beat.

i did make it home in time to watch American Horror Story. another great episode. and the preview for next week looks really damn good.

the weather has warmed up here nicely. up to the upper 40's today. but, since it is Ohio, it appears like it will be 70 by the weekend with a chance of some crazy shit happening. i figure the winds will be crazy on Sunday as that is the day i put the trash out.

other than The Big Bang Theory and probably a decent portion of the NFL game tonight, i have no clue what i'll be watching this evening. most likely some sports or something on Discovery or Food Network.

the wines i ordered the other day should be arriving later today. i have to sign for them and not let my imagination run wild with my porn fantasies of female delivery drivers. my luck, it will be a guy that looks like me. somewhere Freud is smiling.

that's all for me. i suppose i should go eat some lunch and listen to some more music while i'm waiting. i do hope this finds everyone well. and hopefully drunk.


Crazy Heart Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (Deluxe Edition)
Beth Hart & Joe Bonamassa - Don't Explain
Bruno Mars - Unorthodox Jukebox
Daft Punk - Random Access Memories

"The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs." - Charles de Gaulle

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

tell me again why i haven't killed myself...

please note, the title is not an alarm or a call for help. simply the beginning of a rant...

is there any bigger waste of time than taking a shower, drying off, and then having to take a shit? and not one of those 2 wipes and i'm done shits, but more of a 20 minutes later and you're back in the shower. welcome to my Wednesday.

throw in my back having mini spasms all day long and you should get a visual of why i'm asking the question, why haven't i killed myself already? better men than me decided enough was enough. what pitiful amount of ego is keeping me alive? i suppose this is why i'm a writer. the page is my outlet for the pain. if i was a bricklayer or dug ditches for a living, i wouldn't have much left after i turned to the bottle.

off of the cliff, for now...

the Rangers lost 3-2 last night. i don't want to really talk about it anymore than that.

i was not surprised by the eliminations on The Voice last night. i figure there are 6 people that could win it. Cole, Austin, Tessanne, Matthew, Jacquie, and Caroline.

i did watch a good portion of that college basketball doubleheader last night on ESPN. i certainly wouldn't mind if that was the Final Four come April. 2 really good games.

i'll be at UD Arena in a few hours watching the Dayton Flyers take on someone. i'm hoping for a much better defensive effort so another miracle shot isn't needed for a win.

after i get back home, hopefully it will be in time to check out American Horror Story. that show is certainly on an excellent roll at the moment.

was a whopping 20 degrees when i woke up this morning. thankfully i put the extra blanket on my bed before i fell asleep last night. it was needed. and in typical Ohio weather, it will be 60 by the weekend. i wonder how busy my white blood cells are going to be in the next few days?

i didn't get any of the guys i wanted in fantasy football for this week. i'm favored in both matches as of today, but the competitive asshole inside of me doesn't want to just win, dominate is the better choice of word.

and to put the rotten cherry on my day, the key to Manchester United's midfield has an achilles injury. just fucking perfect. hopefully they figure something out over the international break.

there's a more than likely chance i will be sending out the poems tomorrow morning. if Dayton somehow loses tonight, chances are i will be busy typing and emailing around 3 in the morning.

i raise my glass and hope your life is way better than mine.


Tei Shi - Saudade
Mazzy Star - So Tonight That I Might See
Valerie June - Pushin' Against A Stone

"If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you." - Louis D. Brandeis

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

at least the corn was gone before the snow started...

i woke up this morning to temps around 28 or so and a light dusting of snow covering the grass and fields. thankfully the corn got harvested before this cold front came barreling through. i believe this may be our best corn yield since i have lived out here. hard to believe that's 16 years now.

i got a really good deal on some wine today. i couldn't pass on 6 bottles for under $60.

i'm still kicking myself over fantasy football this past week. the match i was losing by 11 i ended up losing by 3. that left me a bit sore as the winning points were on my bench. i'll have to make that game up quickly if i'm going to make the playoffs. and i had a horrible week picking games, 7-7. yikes.

i did watch most of The Voice last night. only a handful of the 12 performances were great in my opinion. with that much mediocrity i have no clue who is going to be in the bottom 3 tonight. should make for an interesting show.

i didn't watch much of Monday Night Raw last night. it was taped in Manchester, England so i knew what was going to happen from the live reports online. i did catch portions of the last hour. anytime you have The Shield, The Wyatt Family, CM Punk, and Daniel Bryan involved in something, i'm going to be watching. can't wait to see what all those guys produce.

tonight is a pretty big sports night. a couple of huge early season college basketball games that should be pretty entertaining. and while that is going on, the New York Rangers are playing the Devils tonight. my blood might get a little boiling this evening. hopefully the Rangers can keep the good streak they have been on going with a win over those fuckers this evening.

after i did the dishes this afternoon and watched some porn, i went through the poems and decided on which 16 i'll be sending out here in a few days. probably no later than Friday. my apologies in advance to the editors, etc.

sadly, for the second time, i believe my cat Gizmo 2.0 is once again dead. all the cats (14 of them) were present this morning, minus 2.0, which was what i was expecting since a good number of them have never seen snow before. if that cat shows up again ( i haven't seen it in over a month now, it was gone for 2 or 3 months last time) i will have no choice but to think that cat has evil powers. yes, i've been drinking.

found out today my mother will need surgery in the spring (could be sooner but she doesn't want to miss any basketball games) for the problem in her ears. wasn't thrilled when i saw that 1 of 4 people that have it end up losing their hearing permanently as a result of it.

lastly, i did watch a bit of the Hockey Hall of Fame inductions last night. whenever i decide to actually get a fucking passport, maybe i'll get up to Toronto to actually go to the place this time. i was up there when i was 13 but my father decided going there wasn't worth the time. can't imagine why i have hated that man for the majority of my life.

and on that uplifting note, i bid everyone a fond farewell. hope everyone is doing well or faking it good enough that no one suspects anything.


Hayes Carll - Trouble in Mind
The Allman Brothers Band - At Fillmore East
Ed Sheeran - +
Of Monsters and Men - My Head is an Animal

"I feel like I could be likened to an old hound circling on a rug for the last five years." - Neil Young

Monday, November 11, 2013

running on empty

i think i may have got around 4 or 5 hours sleep tops for the entire weekend. so, instead of being smart and sleeping this dreary Monday away, i'm up and writing a blog entry. got the Dan Patrick Show on the television and they are taking off the rest of the corn at the moment. hopefully they get it all off before it SNOWS later today.

i had a mixed day yesterday fantasy football wise. i'm somehow losing by 11 to a team that has 1 win this season (not very fucking happy about that) and i'm up by almost 90 points in the other one. guess which one i think i have a good chance of winning...

the New York Rangers played an interesting game last night. i was in and out of it because of all of the other stuff i was watching at the same time. thankfully, they won. here are the highlights:

my Sunday morning started off with Manchester United playing their best game of the season beating Arsenal 1-0. i always love when RvP sticks it to his old team. plus, now they are only 5 points back and sitting in 5th place in the league. below is the only goal of the game. kudos to whomever posted this on the net.

the Sunday night shows were excellent last night. Boardwalk Empire continues to be one of the best shows on. Eastbound and Down was fucking hilarious. can't wait to the series finale next week. Homeland was great as well. and Masters of Sex had another very strong episode. Total Divas was pretty damn funny. i love the behind the scenes shit, especially in the world of pro wrestling.

hopefully my day today consists of a long nap, some writing, and then my night in front of the television. Monday Night Raw, The Voice, and a Monday Night Football game that i unfortunately have to pay attention to. and i really don't want to.

if i do get lucky enough to write a few poems today, i'll type them up today as well. i don't see me going outside much given the cold blast getting ready to hit here.

i hope everyone had a great weekend. happy Veteran's Day here in the states. happy Monday to the rest of the world.


Radiohead - Live at Tramps June 1, 1995
The Steel Wheels - Live @ Ignition Garage

"To live without Hope is to Cease to live." - Fyodor Dostoevsky

Saturday, November 9, 2013

enjoying a victory beer

if you'd like to know how my afternoon went, go here:

if that's how the Dayton Flyers season is going to go. i'll be dead before i turn 40.

just got back home from the sports bar. getting ready to crack open a beer and watch LSU vs. Alabama tonight.

other than that, i believe SNL is a rerun. i may check it out as i think it was the episode i missed because of the power being out. also, another episode of ROH late this evening.

my tomorrow is hectic beyond belief. Manchester United plays a must win game in the morning at home against Arsenal. then my usual 6 hours or so of the NFL. then the Sunday night shows, along with the New York Rangers playing as well as Total Divas coming back on. i hope i get some good sleep tonight as i obviously will be getting none tomorrow.

i would ramble longer but i am totally spent from the game. Dayton was a 17 point favorite. to win on a buzzer beater against a team that totally sucks... i'll take the win after so many heartbreaking losses last year but if this damn team doesn't get better on defense it's going to be a long ass season.

i'm out. if i find the time tomorrow, i'll write a quick one here. more likely it will be 2 or 3 in the morning.


Tom Waits - Mule Variations
Black Joe Lewis - Noise Trade Eastside Manor Sessions
The Ragged Jubilee - B-Sides

"Gossip is more popular than literature." - Hugh Leonard

Friday, November 8, 2013

trying to find the relief that death surely brings

have i ever told you how life is with a bad back? have i told you the utter joy of when that bad back seizes up when you're in the middle of taking a shit? have i told you how hard it is to lift 40 pounds of salt for the water treatment in the cellar when it's nearly impossible to walk erect? as you can surmise, my day has been fucking painful to say the least. but, i still managed to get some shit done.

i did type up the 5 poems i wrote the other day. i think they are pretty good. i'd like to get one more batch done before i send out some more submissions. i'm hoping this weekend provides the ammunition.

i also managed to get the dishes done today. how i managed to stand for 20 minutes in this pain, i'm not so sure. i know i have an unreal pain tolerance, but at times it gets pretty fucking ridiculous.

i managed to get 9 of the 12 right on The Voice last night. not too shabby. 2 of the guys i got wrong i am pretty happy for as i wanted them to stay but thought they had no chance at all.

the New York Rangers got another win last night. they are back to .500 now. 3rd place in the division, which is where they will need to finish to be guaranteed of making the playoffs this year. i really like how they have turned the season around. below are the highlights from last night:

i'm off to a decent start in fantasy football. i did watch a good portion of the college football games last night. but, ultimately, i paid the most attention to the MLS playoffs. was a busy sports night to say the least.

my afternoon tomorrow will be spent at the home opener for the University of Dayton men's basketball team. hard to fucking believe it's already basketball season. hopefully they get off to a really good start this year. they are not supposed to do anything according to the experts, so i'm really hoping this is the year they stick it to everyone for not including them in the new Big East conference.

i suppose i will blog about that and other things when i get home tomorrow. all i'm hoping to do tonight is survive a shower and shave and not end up in the fetal position. looks like my sports Sunday is actually going to be more chaotic than tomorrow is going to be.

that's all for me today. i hope everyone has a great weekend. may the creative fire burn inside of you and let it not just be indigestion.


Lana Del Rey - Born to Die
TV on the Radio - Nine Types of Light
Lecrae - Church Clothes, Vol. 2
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Push The Sky Away

"Despair has its own calms." - Bram Stoker

Thursday, November 7, 2013

productivity to a certain degree

i was maybe 10 minutes into watching the New York Rangers last night when the damn power went out. it was raining out so i figured some old fucker around here took a turn too fast and hit a pole or some water shorted out some lines or something. 2nd time in 2 weeks now. and it was right as i was thinking about what to have for dinner. needless to say, Doritos won out after the power went out.

so once the power came back on, the Rangers were up 4-1. to say i was shocked would be an understatement. here are the highlights:
what a great victory. hopefully they can keep the good vibes going as they play in Columbus tonight. i'd love to be at the game but the beauty of being poor is you learn to go without at times. i'll be watching.

also tonight is The Big Bang Theory and the first live eliminations on The Voice. all 4 teams get cut from 5 to 3 tonight. here is who i think will make it tonight: Team Adam: Will, James, and Tessanne, Team Blake: Cole, Nic, and Ray, Team Ceelo: Amber, Kat, and Caroline, Team Xtina: Olivia, Matthew, and Jacquie. that's certainly not the 12 i would have picked, just whom i believe will get chosen by the fans. if i go 12 for 12, i may play the lottery this weekend.

also, tonight are some really good college football games. and a stinky NFL game that i unfortunately need to keep an eye on as i have a player going tonight. always good to get the jump in fantasy football. of course, it helps if that jump is significant. if it isn't, i'll be kicking myself as i have the guy rated right behind him at his position on my bench. fingers crossed.

i did manage to write 5 poems today. i kind of flipped the script a tad bit today, and wrote in complete silence. i usually prefer to have some form of chaos around me. when i type them up later tonight or tomorrow morning, i'll let you know how this little experiment makes out.

and finally today, i found some kick ass new (at least new to me) music at Noise Trade. you'll see that listed down below. i HIGHLY recommend downloading it for FREE.*

that is all for me. a big hello to the new subscribers. if you enjoy my ramblings or any of the content on the right hand side of the page, please feel free to tell everyone you know.

be well. take it easy. and only fuck the ones that cough.


Nine Inch Nails - Hesitation Marks (Deluxe Edition)
The Ragged Jubilee - B-Sides (click on link to download for FREE)*
St. Paul & the Broken Bones - Greetings From St. Paul & the Broken Bones *
Bassnectar - Freestyle Mixtape *

"Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken." - Albert Camus

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

harvest, sort of...

nothing like the threat of rain to get some shit done on the farm. the guy who farms out here and whoever else that was with him got 2 1/2 more truckloads of corn off today. of course, the rain moved in faster than anyone expected, so they still have some more to get off. hopefully, when it is all said and done, there will be 2 numbers to the left of the comma this year.

had quite the mindfuck watching The Voice last night. the first 90 minutes had one good performance. but the last 2 performances blew me away. the last one, Jacquie doing a cover of "I Put A Spell On You" was amazing, especially since she's 16 years old. the mindfuck comes from her looking almost identical to the girl, now woman, i have had a crush on since the 7th grade. talk about a flood of nostalgia.

another proving test tonight for the New York Rangers. facing a Penguins team that is better than them by a mile. i'd love to see them get 2 points tonight. but, what i'd like to see more is a team that competes in every aspect of the game. that would go a long way in making me believe that this team will not be denied, injured or not.

another episode of American Horror Story is on tap after the game. hopefully the good streak continues.

other than that, nothing much going on today. i did have to play chauffeur for my mother today as she was feeling a little uneasy driving in the rain and whatnot. that got me out of the house at least. got a postcard in the mail saying i needed to make an eye appointment. even though i have a card saying i had an appointment in 13 days from now. that was an interesting phone call. 3rd year in a row this shit has happened. if my eyes weren't so damn bad i'd just say fuck it, but i'm basically blind without them. but, especially after election day results around here, i get the feeling that i may be out of state soon. so, i'll get to go through the fun of finding all new everything. but that's jumping way ahead in the story. plenty of heartbreak to go before i get to that stage.

looks like all my fantasy teams are lined up for the coming week. not many injury concerns, knock on wood. i'd like to keep the momentum going as i try to ramp up for a deep playoff run. i want to accomplish the double this year. i never have won 2 fantasy football championships in the same season. i'd like to change that.

do check out some of the new feeds on the right hand side of this blog. plenty of new podcasts to choose from.

ok, enough rambling. got a decent nap watching some Champions League soccer this afternoon. so, maybe i'll be up a little later and get some damn writing done.

be well.


Red Wanting Blue - Live at City Winery

"Life is to blame for everything." - Robert Musil

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

hello frustration, my name is...

just pissed away 2 hours watching one of the more frustrating Manchester United matches since i became a fan in 1992. a 0-0 draw on the road in the Champions League is usually fine, but not when you blow 3 point blank chances in the second half and have to play the final 3 minutes a man down because your manager is fucking clueless. Chicharito somehow kicked it over the goal from about 3 yards. RvP hit the post twice, once on a damn penalty kick. and for some fucking reason, Moyes couldn't see that Fellaini was bound and determined to get his second yellow as soon as he got his first, in the first half. thankfully, the whole damn group fucking stunk today so United is still in the lead. next match is Sunday against Arsenal. i'd love to have a good feeling about that, but that escapes me at the moment.

the New York Rangers took all the good they had done in the last week or so and shit all of it away in the first period last night. 2 horrific turnovers that both ended up in the back of the net. a 2-1 loss that just left a shitty taste in my mouth.

thankfully, i won both of my fantasy football matches. i sit in 4th place in both leagues. not bad for the halfway point.

just so you know, i had a dream i was pissing in the bathroom from Trainspotting last night, so i took that as a clue to get up. nearly 2 fucking hours before i wanted to. so, i haven't been happy since about 7:30 last night.

The Voice last night was pretty good. i enjoyed a few of the performances. i do agree with Blake, there is going to be some really good talent leaving way too soon on Thursday. another live show this evening.

Monday Night Raw was ok last night. the opening segment involved CM Punk, Daniel Bryan and the Wyatt Family, so no complaints there. the 6 man tag match was good as well. the rest of the show was just sort of there to me. although, the sight of Kane in a suit and tie was a little shocking. of course, he has a movie coming out soon where he's not wearing a mask, so i get it.

i figure i'll watch a little PBS this evening as well. a couple of things on there i want to watch.

if my anger happens to persist through the night, expect to read about me typing up a slew of poems tomorrow. along with the usual Wednesday bitching.

that's all. peace and chicken grease.


Big Head Todd and the Monsters - Sister Sweetly
The Dirty Guv'nahs - Somewhere Beneath These Southern Skies
Brandi Carlile - Live at Bear Creek EP
R.E.M. - Part Lies Part Heart Part Truth Part Garbage 1982-2011
Jason Isbell - Southeastern

"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance." - Will Durant

Monday, November 4, 2013

starting the week off right

i woke up this morning and my mother was feeling much, much better. was sounding better, moving around better and felt good enough that i didn't need to play chauffeur today. she had another doctor's appointment this morning. at least she found out her shoulder isn't torn like she feared.

i had a huge smile when i checked my fantasy football scores this morning. huge leads in both matches thanks to the game last night.

i of course didn't watch much of the game as i was busy with the Sunday night shows. Boardwalk Empire was excellent once again. Eastbound and Down was good. Homeland was brilliant. and i thought Masters of Sex was really good. time well spent.

one busy night of television awaits me this evening. the New York Rangers play against Anaheim. Cally is back in the lineup tonight. sooner than expected i do believe. The Voice starts up the live shows tonight. Monday Night Raw should be interesting. and a juicy Monday Night Football game that has some fantasy implications between Green Bay and Chicago. all of these things are on at the same time more or less. i'm guessing hockey and wrestling are going to win out for me. the rest i can catch on YouTube.

i believe my truck is on its final legs. i had to put air in one of the rear tires for the third time this month. it's running really bad and my mother doesn't want me taking it off the farm. so, looks like i more or less am a homebody for the time being. i'm hoping to find something new or something a little newer than the 21 years old my truck is, with not so many numbers to the left of the comma. and hopefully find it before winter.

i'm typing this as i listen to my mother on hold with an insurance company. needless to say, she's not a happy camper.

i am now in first place in fantasy hockey after a 9-1 week for me. hopefully i can keep that momentum going.

the rest of today has been spent putting more shit on my wish list. in case any of you are interested or extremely generous, you can find it under my email address,

that's all for me today. i will be on tomorrow after Manchester United plays tomorrow in Spain. i will hopefully be having a victory beer while typing that one up.

be well. have a drink on me. and brace yourself for a mountain of words coming soon.


Pixies - Pixies at the BBC
Valerie June - Pushin' Against a Stone
Sia - Some People Have Real Problems
Youth Lagoon - The Year of Hibernation

"There is no such thing as a little freedom. Either you are all free, or you are not free." - Walter Cronkite

Sunday, November 3, 2013

how ecstasy can quickly become misery

i had a pretty damn good evening last night. my sports teams won, i was able to stay awake for SNL and ROH, got the clocks turned back, and got some decent sleep.

i wake up this morning feeling good. got through my email and whatnot in good time, got the trash picked up, had breakfast, helped my mother, and just as i was changing out the trash bag in the kitchen, that oh fuck feeling hits me.

i clinch my cheeks and try to get to the bathroom, but, this time i didn't make it. i'm not sure how i can take care of my mother when i can't even take care of myself. needless to say after a horrific storm of cussing, my mother came in the bathroom. can't imagine a more humbling situation for a male at age 37. wiping off shit from your legs with your mother watching.

the cats are now fed, the trash is down at the end of the lane and i have a toilet i need to clean, so i will try to make this quick.

the New York Rangers exploded for some goals last night and another win, 5-1.

i listened to most of the Dayton Flyers basketball game last night. they held off a pesky Findlay team to win 96-87.

i thought Saturday Night Live was pretty good last night.

ROH last night was excellent. some great action between Kevin Steen and Mike Bennett. i could see that feud having some legs.

i have one big injury concern today in fantasy football. but, that game isn't until tonight. so i just have to remember to check the inactives list around 7 tonight. other than that, i feel pretty good about my teams today.

i've got a huge lead in fantasy hockey that i'm hoping i don't find a way to blow today.

i did type up those 3 poems i wrote the other day. i think they are pretty good. i'm sure today's debacle will bring some more poems.

my mother is feeling a little better. i think more than anything, she's just tired of feeling like shit. i don't think she thought she would turn 60 and her body would just fall apart at once.

ok, enough babbling. i need to get this shit (bad choice of words there) done before the pregame shows come on. hope everyone is doing better than i am.

peace and chicken grease.


Cowboy Junkies - Studio:Selected Studio Recordings 1986-1995

"I look like the kind of guy who has a bottle of beer in my hand." - Charles Bronson

Saturday, November 2, 2013

it can only get better

not much happened last night other than me feeling horrible for my mother who was in some horrific pain. i comforted her the best i could. always fun when your mother is openly talking to you about suicide. good times.

so i woke up this morning with a nasty shit that didn't seem to want to stop. i didn't have a good feeling about my day at that point, and then i walked out of the bathroom and noticed Chelsea had just lost. ok, maybe things will get better.

and they did.

Manchester United played their best 45 minutes of the season to get out to a 3-0 lead. of course, they just fucked around in the second half to win 3-1. first time they have won 2 games in a row in the league this season. hopefully they have turned the corner.

Ohio State absolutely mauled Purdue today. it was so bad i went to the grocery store at halftime. Ohio State won 56-0. i'll definitely enjoy that victory beer for sure.

i decided we didn't need much from the store so i went to the local grocery. just got some bread, some beer and some Diet Coke for mom. and since Ohio State was playing at the time, the store was basically empty. much better than i thought it would be.

so, tonight will be some more college football, the New York Rangers looking to win again, a new Saturday Night Live, ROH, and then trying to remember to turn my clocks back 1 hour.

all the while really hoping my mother starts to feel better soon. i can't imagine what she's going through with feeling dizzy at times with a loud buzzing going from one ear to the other. i'm tempted to put a little whiskey in her Diet Coke just to help ease the pain. my luck, it interacts with her other medicines and i'm in jail before too long. lovely.

i'm not going to the basketball game tonight by the way. i'm playing the good son. besides, it will be on the radio and it's only an exhibition game.

hope everyone is well, enjoying the fall colors, drinking a little too much, and pissing off all the neighbors.


Trampled by Turtles - Stars and Satellites
Steve Earle - Copperhead Road

"I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks." - Daniel Boone

Friday, November 1, 2013

after the storm

the good thing about a storm moving through at 80 m.p.h. is there really is no time to even think about much of anything. our lights flickered once and then it was over. all we had down were a few branches and a ton of leaves. 2 towns over got hit by a tornado. a restaurant i've been in a handful of times over the years was damaged pretty bad. a drive thru liquor place was leveled. a few houses condemned. i'm counting my lucky blessings on this one.

got back a little while ago from driving my mother back from her medical tests. they know for sure she has positional vertigo. she gets the rest of the results in 2 weeks or so. for the next 48 hours she basically can't do anything and has to sleep upright as much as possible. i got a good feeling i won't be going to the basketball game tomorrow. i figure i will be around here as much as possible to make sure she is ok.

so that basically means i will be going grocery shopping tomorrow, sometime. i'll have to fit that around my sports schedule. Manchester United in the morning and Ohio State at noon. so, late afternoon maybe. joy.

thankfully, i did manage to write 3 poems in the waiting room this afternoon. i'll type them up sometime in the near future. i'm hoping that opens up the floodgates. i'd like to write about 10 in the next week or so.

before the storm hit last night, i did watch most of the NFL game. i picked the damn game wrong and i am over 40 points down in my one fantasy football game. but that deficit is not that bad, as i still have 8 guys to play this week. my opponent only has 4. hopefully i can make that deficit up quickly.

i don't have a clue what i'm going to watch this evening. all i know is i'm pretty sure i'm going to keep the volume down.

hope everyone has a great weekend. i'll try to write something after my horror trip to the store.

be well.


Father John Misty - Fear Fun

"I don't apologize to people with an agenda." - Kinky Friedman