Thursday, January 31, 2013

all things must pass

as i said here a few days ago, my writing session last night was either going to be one of glee or anger. and despite a win from Manchester United earlier in the day, although they played the last 45 minutes holding on for dear life, the Dayton Flyers brought me the anger i was expecting. sort of.

not winning at Xavier is nothing new, fuck, they haven't done it since 1981. but to be out-rebounded like a bunch of pussies was really hard to watch. 1 damn rebound here and there and they win the game easily. i did appreciate the coach saying after the game that the basketball gods don't reward teams that don't deserve to win. no shit.

so, my writing session was 7 poems long. a few winners i think. i typed them up this afternoon while watching the snow come down outside. i know 1 of the poems will go to Jeremy Benson for the poetry e-book project he is putting together. you can find out more about the project by going here:

and now allow me to address the comments left on this blog by my "best friend" Debbie Kirk, the queen of wannabe tough women. and trust me, that last comment has her pissed off already. not sure why she wanted to air the dirty laundry in public, but that was her choice. i only feel it is right that my retort is public as well. let me peel back the onion a bit so you know how all this bullshit started. Debbie didn't like my first YouTube video. it is completely her right not to like it. she gave me some criticism on it, which i took, but apparently not in the way she wanted. i assume that was by agreeing immediately and kissing her ass. when i posted my next videos, she ate a bit of crow and said they were improvements from the first one. now, over a week later, last night she brings it up again. her big problem is that some people actually like the first video and they shouldn't. apparently personal preference is not allowed in the world of Debbie Kirk. i can't give 2 shits either way in this. i'm simply thrilled that people have taken the time to watch them at all. so, long story short i told Debbie enough was enough, which of course was met with you never tell me to stop talking, blah blah blah. which i replied with i will tell you whatever the fuck i want just like you do me. if you can't show me the same respect i show you, who has the problem? she typed back i have the problem and i told her to fuck off.

little did i know that she didn't have the balls to call me on the phone but instead chose to blast me in a public setting. now, i think i must set the record straight and get the FACTS out there.

if anyone needs to know anything about me, all you ever have to do is ask. but since i am hiding behind some fake image, allow me put it all out there. i'm 350 lbs. i'm 37. i live with my mother on 80 acres in Ohio. i haven't had a girlfriend in 10 years. i haven't had sex in 2 years. i have had sex with 11 partners in my life, all female by the way. as for my poetry being about situations i have never been in, i believe some people call that IMAGINATION. but, let's be honest. most of my poems are about masturbation, porn, taking a shit, wanting to kill myself, life on the farm, the drive into town for the mail, etc. etc. i fucking wish all of that was some imagined bullshit. my life would be perfect. do i write like i'm a badass, sure. anyone that "really" knows me knows the joke. also, anyone that "really" knows me, knows all the personal shit already. you know, like the poems i wrote about being molested in my grandmother's house by a female cousin when i was a kid or how i nearly died 5 years ago from blood clots in my left leg and both lungs. or, are those all imagined bullshit as well?

and now from her comments this morning... you do realize that the photo shoot with Anna was over 10 years ago right? why the fuck are you bringing it up now? and why are you taking it upon yourself to tell me things that she never told me? i need to know shit from 10 years ago? as for your husband, if he has something to say to me, allow him to say it. he has my email and my number, i'd be more than willing to have a conversation. as for talking down to you. guess what? it's a two way street. the day you stop talking down to me i'll do the same. as for questioning my Christianity...that's a good one. am i perfect? far from it. do i have a high opinion of myself? at times, but honestly, it's called a healthy ego. try it sometime. and i take pride in being an asshole? guess what, you do the same shit. and not once have i ever questioned your faith in anything. never will as that's not my job to do so.

to think i have spent nearly 15 years listening to all your problems, all your family bullshit, all your downs, all your highs, you telling me the same fucking story for the 5th time in a week because you can't remember if you told me at all and just letting you go on, letting you get it all off your chest, and this is how you choose to repay that friendship. guess what Debbie? i want the best for you. i want you to be happy, to have a great life and find the peace you deserve. i want you to enjoy your marriage and all the fruit life brings you. but since i'm such a fucking drag on your existence, i will remove myself from the equation.

i'll leave it up to you if you want some fake fuck like me to continue to edit your book. if not, that's cool. if so, that's cool as well. i don't dick over people, like some people i know.

thank you for making me a better person. and i thank you for blowing this friendship up in a spectacular fashion. i can't wait to write these poems. of course, they will all be fake and not any good. the funniest thing you typed was how none of this was to be mean. perhaps you should have tried a less public option for me to believe that bullshit. and if you honestly believe that my meanness is an act, ask my family. you happen to have the gift of catching me at the wrong time more often than not and 2 strong willed creatures can't exist without friction. none of it is good for either of us. and i will not be your excuse for not getting better.

and lastly, something i have never shared with anyone. but since we're airing dirty laundry, when in rome... the real reason i think all this shit with the YouTube video has lasted is your fear that if any of your cool friends thought my video was stupid, and you being my friend and all, they would think you would be stupid as well. and god forbid, you can't have anyone on this planet thinking a negative thought about Debbie Kirk. maybe i'm wrong, or maybe that's much closer to the TRUTH than even you want to realize.

i hope everyone enjoyed a nice behind the scenes look on much of my life for so damn long. guess i'll see what this freedom thing is like now. hope everyone is good. look forward to seeing the insanity Debbie writes in response. hopefully she knows i'm childish enough to drag this out for as long as she wants to. does that make me a bad person? yes, i know it does. i just enjoy the consequences of such things.

and to think all i really wanted when i sent you the link to my first YouTube video was for you to be happy that i was taking a chance and doing something completely out of left field for me. but, i guess in hindsight, that was simply too much to ask for.

music today:

Bruno Mars - Unorthodox Jukebox
Tom Waits - Frank's Wild Years
Imagine Dragons - Night Visions
Gary Clark Jr. - Blak and Blu
Frank Ocean - Channel Orange

"True friends stab you in the front." - Oscar Wilde

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

a bowl of cereal and the blues

an unseasonably warm day and the sun never even shined. and to think by tomorrow night it will be nearly 50 degrees colder than right now. ah, Ohio. don't like the weather, wait 10 minutes.

so, much of my day was getting the house ready for the straight line winds that should be coming with the storm in the morning. when i see the reds and oranges on the weather forecast, that will usually do the trick to catch my attention. changed out the water filters and added some salt to the water softener. life with well water. so much fun. hopefully the power won't go out with the storm.

i enjoyed Monday Night Raw last night. the delusional CM Punk made me laugh out loud all night long. plus, the seeds being planted for a new Dangerous Alliance made me smile and remember my youth.

tonight is a bit of hockey and a bit of soccer. and hopefully 2 victory beers. and hopefully my good run of fantasy hockey results keep up as well.

if you don't hear or see much from me tomorrow either 1) the power went out or 2) i'm doing my best to keep my brain occupied before the basketball game or 3) i started my writing session early and i'm either on fire or putting words into a shredder.

music today:

Ben Harper - By My Side
Buddy Guy - Slippin' In
Buddy Guy - Living Proof
Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit - Live from Alabama

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." - Pablo Picasso

response from The Camel Saloon

i heard back from Russell at The Camel Saloon on my poetry submission from yesterday. my poems "the once dearly departed" and "perfectly imperfect" have been accepted for publication.

Monday, January 28, 2013

slowly melting away

me or the weather?

the weather for now. felt good enough today to actually venture out in public. a rare occurrence it seems anymore. a trip to the post office and a trip to the bank. had to get the birthday money in before i would be tempted to spend it on needless shit.

i sent out 8 poems today, 3 to The Camel Saloon and 5 to when i hear back from these places i'll be sure to post the responses. hopefully a few will get accepted.

after looking through all the old poems i realized i need to do some more writing. so, i imagine sometime late Wednesday in either furious anger or holy shit drunken merriment, there will be some writing going on. for the curious souls out there, Wednesday night the Dayton Flyers play their biggest rival on the road in a city they haven't beaten them in since Carter was president. one of those streaks i'd like to see end sometime in my lifetime but i'm not certain it will. hence, anger or holy shit...

looking forward to seeing how Monday Night Raw plays out tonight. i totally disagree with taking the title off of CM Punk but i've been watching long enough to keep an open mind to see what happens next. if it leads to The Rock and John Cena facing each other again, at least i will have a spot in the next WrestleMania to take a piss.

hope everyone is good. toying with ideas for more videos. if my practice runs go well, you'll know when new shit is posted. if not, my non-technical ass is trying to figure some shit out while maintaining my manly stubbornness by not asking for help.

music today:

M83 - Hurry Up, We're Dreaming
Shovels & Rope - O' Be Joyful
The Lumineers - The Lumineers
Heartless Bastards - Arrow

"I'm a holy man minus the holiness." - E. M. Forster

Sunday, January 27, 2013

and here comes the boom

hello again my friends. so, here goes... took a nasty little spill on Friday on the farm. we got 5 inches of snow (we were only expecting 2) and had just got done shoveling. i fed the cats and then started on feeding the birds. we have a feeder on the other side of a little hill and sure enough, my fat ass slipped on the hill and fell hard. hard enough that as soon as the headaches really started coming on, i figured i gave myself a concussion. thankfully, after a night of good sleep and a hot shower, the headaches and most of the pain was gone. needless to say, until the ground thaws, i'll be walking around the hill.

my Saturday started off well and amazingly, got better as the day went on. my shipment from came 2 days early. always love when that happens. on a side note, started using their cloud player. holy shit i've bought a ton of music from them over the years. next, watched Manchester United have a nice and tidy win in the FA Cup. they now advance to the final 16. went right from that to going to see the Dayton Flyers get their second win in a row. they of course made it more difficult than it needed to be, but a win is a win. got home from that in time to watch the New York Rangers get their second win of the season. 4 goals in the 3rd period always helps. helps my fantasy team as well. got a nice lead in fantasy hockey going into the final day of the week. hopefully, i will have a good day to hold that lead.

so, 3 victory beers later, a little Saturday Night Live and Ring of Honor, i decided i was going to try to stay up and watch the men's final of the Australian Open. of course, i fell asleep as the match was starting. i'm getting too old for this shit.

got some freezing rain coming later today, followed by rain and a warm up of 40 degrees. so, that 5 inches of snow will be about 3 inches of mud by tomorrow. so, i need to get my ass moving and get all my outside shit done soon. hope everyone has a good rest of the weekend.

music today:

JD McPherson - Signs & Signifiers
Beth Orton - Sugaring Season

"The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Thursday, January 24, 2013

up by the big barn

my final YouTube video (for awhile at least). the poem is "up by the big barn" which is included in my chapbook "Suicide Porn", which was published by Interior Noise Press. if you like the video, feel free to pass it on. also, if you have any comments, feel free to leave them here on the blog, on YouTube, email me or on Google+ if you so desire. also, please subscribe to my channel as i do hope to do some more videos in the future. thanks. peace and chicken grease.

suicide watch

my video of my poem "suicide watch", which was published in my chapbook "never trust a man wearing purple shoes" by Propaganda Press. if you like the video, feel free to leave comments here on the blog, on YouTube, my email or Google+ if you want to. also, feel free to pass this on. also, subscribe to my channel for any future videos. thanks.

where to begin

first off, a thank you to all of you who commented on my first video. i have 2 more i need to post and will do that sometime later today. i did all of these as more of a fuck it, just do it, kind of thing than anything else. i figure i'm 37, what the fuck am i waiting for? i have no clue where all of this will end up, just hoping to enjoy the ride.

i didn't get to go to the Dayton Flyers game last night. my mother had her knee appointment changed (oh how i love insurance companies) and made it home too late for us to get to the game. not a big deal as it was on television. her verdict on her knee, drum roll please, no torn ligaments. thankfully. BUT, arthritis and 2 huge bone spurs. so, sometime this summer, she gets to go through knee replacement. FUN.

as for the game, this was exactly what Dayton needed. a complete and total beat down. they absolutely destroyed Fordham by 45 points. it was pretty nice to watch as i really didn't need to yell and scream that much. i think the only lead the other team had was 3-0. hopefully, the game on the weekend is similar.

i also got to watch the New York Rangers finally get a win. a fantastic game to watch. god, i missed hockey. a hat trick for Gaborik (which really helps my fantasy team) with the 3rd goal coming as the overtime winner. another big one coming tonight vs. Philly. hopefully the dominance from last season continues.

got a nice letter yesterday from Lee Thorn. he's started publishing people on his blog. i will be sending him some work in the next few weeks. you can find the blog here:

check back here later for the videos. i actually make an appearance in these.

music today:

Bassnectar - Freestyle Mixtape

"If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible." - James Whistler

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

any tragedy you could imagine

an appropriate title given it's my first try at a YouTube video. would love your comments. and if you like it, please share it all around. i hopefully will do more of these with poems from the upcoming book.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

i guess winter is back on

what a cold ass day. woke up this morning to single digits and wind chills well below zero. i laughed as this is the exact reason why i don't name the barn cats until they make it through a winter. i did see more of them today than i had seen in the last 2 weeks. i suppose that's what the cold will do.

did a little birthday shopping at today. always nice when you get gift cards and don't have to pay anything for what you get. so, in about a week or so, if you happen to see some music that hasn't been listed on here before, you'll know where it came from.

got a nice chicken chili on for later tonight. other than the farting afterwards, that should help warm me up.

hopefully, i will be going to the Dayton Flyers game tomorrow night. i say hopefully because of the weather (we have some snow coming) and my mother's knee. i'm hoping the pain she has is just something minor and not another tear of a ligament. she goes to the doctor next week. time will tell i suppose.

if i don't go to the game i'll be watching the New York Rangers try to get their first win of the season. talk about damned if i do or don't. maybe a night under the covers with some books is in order. i'm sure everyone will be dying to know what happens. stay tuned.

hope everyone is good. a special thank you to Jeremy Benson for the kind words on my poetry. you can find his blog here:

until we meet again my friends.

music today:

Dr. Dre - The Chronic
Cage The Elephant - Cage The Elephant
Ray LaMontagne - Till The Sun Turns Black
Rage Against The Machine - Live at The Grand Olympic Auditorium

"Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine." - Lord Byron

Monday, January 21, 2013

37 years and counting

today is my 37th birthday. got a little birthday snow from mother nature.
thankfully, not as much snow as they got south of me. 2 huge wrecks as well. oh, as you can also tell, got a digital camera from my mother. i will try to bring some pictures to this blog. hopefully. got some pretty cool shit from my sister as well. a hockey jersey, new wallet, playing cards, birthday cinnamon toast crunch muffins, etc. not bad at all.

as for my sports teams, what a weekend to forget. 2 losses by the New York Rangers. too depressing to even go on about. 2 points dropped by Manchester United. that made my birthday lunch way more subdued than i was planning for. i was way too pissed to enjoy much at all.

i did manage to get 1 of the NFL playoff games right. not really looking forward to the Super Bowl. of course, maybe in 2 weeks i'll be hyped for it. who knows.

thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. i imagine i'll spend the rest of the day fucking around with my camera, watching some sports, get a little reading in and perhaps some sleep as the temps fall to the single digits. not sure how well i'll sleep while thinking about the possibility of old pipes freezing. fun.

music today:

Tom Waits - Mule Variations

and now, from another birthday boy

"I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be." - Benny Hill

Friday, January 18, 2013

the beginning of my birthday weekend

laundry day.

figure if my sister is coming down and my family plans on dragging me out of the house this weekend, i might as well have clean clothes.

big sports weekend. hockey starts back up. the NFL playoffs are at the conference championship stage. another big game for Manchester United on Sunday. and no Dayton Flyers to potentially fuck it all up. so, fingers crossed, i could be in store for some victory beers.

while doing my laundry, wasted some time on NoiseTrade. found 2 great albums i really, really like. look for them in today's music. i highly recommend them both.

i also won 2 free downloads from this survey site i am a member of. so, as usual, i downloaded the odd combination of Bon Iver and Social Distortion. so far, my 2013 goal of not making sense is going good.

i do hope everyone has a great weekend. a holiday weekend here in the states. my birthday is actually on Monday, but since most things will be closed for MLK day, hence the weekend festivities. hopefully i won't be on here this weekend to rant and rave. hopefully.

music today:

Futurebirds - Exhume
Broken Anchor - Broken Anchor Sampler
Bon Iver - I Can't Make You Love Me/Nick of Time (MP3)
Social Distortion - Bakersfield (MP3)

and now from the birthday boy

"Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick." - Dave Attell

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

what goes up must come down (and incredibly hard)

where do i begin?

i survived yesterday, barely. getting my blood drawn was much easier than i expected. was probably in and out of the facility in 20 minutes at most. they took 3 vials of my blood. i guess i will get the results later this week. i will take it if i don't get a call, that's good news. my left arm did hurt for awhile afterwards, but i expected that. hadn't had my blood drawn in over 4 years.

as for the DMV, not bad either. got in and got out. my dumb ass wore my cheap glasses so i nearly failed the vision test. i guess they are cheap for a reason. (i'm back to the expensive pair today). the new Ohio driver's license has to be nearly impossible to duplicate and make it look exact. feel sorry for the kids today on that one.

was totally psyched to get the 4 poems published yesterday between The Camel Saloon and Thunder Sandwich. 2 of my favorite places to send to. check the poems out if you haven't. i believe 3 of the 4 are some of the best work i have ever done. also, if you ever have any comments on my work, feel free to send them my way or post somewhere. i do read them and respond when necessary.

was happy to see Manchester United win today in their FA Cup replay against West Ham. welcome back Wayne Rooney. nice goal in the 9th minute. would have been nice if he would have made the pk later on. but, a win is a win.

so, as i was readying my victory beer, i check my email and see a reply from The Gap Toothed Madness, a new print zine out of Sacramento, CA. they decided to pass on my work. i always find it funny when a place asks you to submit and then rejects what you send. oh well, been at this too long for that to stop me.

and then came the Dayton Flyers. no team that commits 24 or 25 or whatever un-fucking-believable amount of turnovers they did should be close in any game. but, of course they managed to lose by 2 to go 0-3 in conference play now. i can live with freshman doing stupid shit, especially on the road. but, when it's the seniors that suck ass, completely unacceptable. this is going to be one painful season.

thankfully, after the game, in my email, was the advance copy of the new book from RC Edrington, Scarred Canvas. holy shit, one of the best poetry books i have read in years. i believe the book is to come out later this year from Underground Voices. i urge all of you to pick up a copy when it does. it's fucking brilliant.

i will have four more new poems published whenever the new issue of Zygote in my Coffee comes out. be sure to check back here on the blog for that.

music today:

Mazzy Star - So Tonight That I Might See

"The stupid believe that to be truthful is easy; only the artist, the great artist, knows how difficult it is." - Willa Cather

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

my 3 poems in Thunder Sandwich #28

my poems "how sarcasm works", "any tragedy you could imagine", and "the greatest escape possible" were published today in Thunder Sandwich #28. you can find the poems by going here

solve every problem

my poem "solve every problem" was published this morning at The Camel Saloon. you can find the poem by going here

Monday, January 14, 2013

a weekend to forget

truly, a weekend to forget. i will try to get through my misery quickly.

Dayton Flyers - same old story. start competitive, fall behind big, dig hard to get out of the hole they made, fall short at the end. beyond frustrating by now.

NFL Playoffs - only picked 1 of the games correctly, which more or less knocks me out of any chance of making some money on my picks this year. you can imagine my frustration.

Manchester United - brief moments of joy after a 2-1 win over Liverpool. then, to see Manchester City win and read about the 3 injuries United picked up before and during the game tempered any chance i had of joy.

Sunday Night TV - i laughed at the Golden Globes more than i was bored to death, so that's good. watched Girls on HBO, some people hate it, i love it. probably due to my fascination with the generation right after me or so and how i simply rarely understand them. as for the shows i watch on Showtime; Shameless is always brilliant. never had any complaints. House of Lies is just bad enough that i like it and can't turn away. Califorincation is one of my favorite shows ever. love the writing, stay for the nudity. looks like all 3 should be interesting. hopefully.

today has been a blah day for the most part. the weather is 40 degrees colder than it was yesterday. i guess i'll see just how good my white blood cells are. speaking of blood, i get my drawn in the morning. plus, get my driver's license renewed. someone put a bullet in my head NOW.

looking forward to Monday Night Raw tonight. 20 year anniversary. fuck, i feel old. should be an interesting trip down nostalgia lane.

looking forward to hockey starting back up this weekend. i imagine if the New York Rangers weren't one of a few Stanley Cup favorites, i wouldn't give two shits. even though it's a bastardized season, i like winning. always have.

music today:

Van Morrison - Astral Weeks
Social Distortion - Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell
Ana Tijoux - La Bala

"Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it." - Laurence J. Peter

Friday, January 11, 2013

and here comes the sun

had a horrible time sleeping last night. the temp was rising as the night was going on and i could feel the rain coming. and when i woke up and felt nearly paralyzed, i knew we had a pretty good rain. add that to the melt of snow and i was a little amazed we weren't flooded completely in the lane or front field. pretty damn close though. thankfully, the sun made an appearance today and the water went down some. which is good since we've got 2 more 100% chances of rain coming. supposedly around 3 inches by the time it's all done and back into the 30's. fucking winter in Ohio. how i've dodged the flu is a fucking miracle.

started reading the John Sweet book i got for Christmas, "in the kingdom of oblivion". if you have never read John before, do yourself a favor and find him on the internet or go to his lulu page and buy something. you will not be disappointed.

and speaking of my favorite poets, a special thank you to Debbie Kirk for dropping by the blog today. if you haven't read her before, find her work online and quickly make up for living under a rock. easily, one of the best female poets i have ever read in my life. is a good place to start.

a busy sports weekend coming up for me. Saturday starts off with the Dayton Flyers hosting Butler. the game will be on the NBC Sports Network. should be an electric atmosphere as Butler will be the highest ranked team to come here in a few years. i'm hoping for a win but a loss wouldn't be shocking to me. sad, but not shocking. (usually when i'm pretty negative going in things work out for the good, here's hoping...). after that, back home to watch some NFL playoffs. Sunday starts with Manchester United hopefully beating the shit out of Liverpool. then, day 2 of the NFL playoffs. hopefully i'll have no flood waters to deal with and i'll just sit back and enjoy.

Sunday night will be a tv nightmare. Golden Globes as well as my Sunday night shows coming back on Showtime and HBO. i feel a long night coming.

i do hope everyone has a good weekend. peace and chicken grease.

music today:

Beastie Boys - Hello Nasty
Great White - Greatest Hits
Radiohead - Kid A
Hank Williams III - Lovesick, Broke & Driftin'

"Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too." - H.L. Mencken

Thursday, January 10, 2013

one of those days

if you have known me for any length of time, you know how much i hate losing. even expected losses leave me fucking furious. and away we go...

Dayton got their asses handed to them last night by VCU. they got out toughed, out manned, outworked, exposed in every sense of the word. they certainly had their moments but, when your upperclassmen continue to make stupid mistakes at this point in their careers, wins on the road will always be few and far between.

the sun forgot to appear today. so a very gloomy day with a bitch load of rain on the way. one of those days where i barely have the motivation to wipe my ass. let alone feed cats, go into town to get the mail, read the paper, listen to music, read a book, etc.............

and i'm old enough now that i can no longer trick myself into feeling motivated. and forcing it has never been my style. which, doesn't matter much anymore. this takes me back to something i heard as a teen hanging out with the homeless in downtown Dayton.

find the pleasure in the pain.

it's one of those days where porn is even boring me. most people would be smart enough to sleep. i suppose i like punishing myself.

music today:

Miles Davis - Kind of Blue
Pixies - Come on Pilgrim
Avante Gauz - Avante Gauz
The Chemical Brothers - Dig Your Own Hole
Slayer - South of Heaven

"Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses." - George Washington Carver

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

your arms are too short to box with god

this blog post is brought to you by The Sam Roberts Show Online, episode #40. you can find this episode on iTunes, Stitcher, and on give it a listen and enjoy.

the title line of this blog post is a line that CM Punk said to the Rock on this past Monday Night Raw. has to be one of the best lines i have heard from a heel in years. had me laughing my ass off. can't wait for 2 of the greatest talkers of all-time to go at it.

wasn't exactly shocked that no one was elected to the baseball hall of fame. figures i would have the joy of loving the sport and collecting baseball cards in an era that is now considered completely poisoned and worthless. over 50,000 pieces of cardboard and memories, or, how i look at them now, dust collectors. one of these days i'll find some fool that will want them.

also saw today that the NBA team i have rooted for since i was a child (Sacramento Kings) is close to being sold and moved to Seattle. if that happens, my NBA loyalty will be a free agent. i've got my eyes on a few spots, but i'll hold out hope that the team doesn't leave.

i've decided that for 2013 i'm going to try to listen to the oddest mix of music each day. check out today's music for an example.

huge game tonight for the Dayton Flyers. one the road at VCU. a tough way to start conference play. i'd love to see them win but to be honest, i fully expect a loss. and it doesn't get any easier as the home conference opener is against Butler. 2 ranked teams in a week. 2 wins would be huge for any chance at the big dance. 2 losses wouldn't be death, but it would be a huge rock to move from in front of the tomb. 1-1 is what i'm really hoping for.

my back is aching today. not nearly as bad as a few days ago, but i can definitely feel some rain coming.

music today:

Joe Bonamassa - Driving Towards The Daylight
Outkast - Aquemini

and now from the birthday boy

"I may not believe in myself, but I believe in what I'm doing." - Jimmy Page

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

fear, put to rest

(knocking on wood) fears of my bad back ailing me for weeks thankfully were just mere rumor. i was able to stretch it out good and really relieve the pressure in it. whew! thank fucking god. last night, i was actually able to sleep on my shitty bed for nearly 6 hours. which of course went right into today's catching up on chores from my pain day. i'm sure mom will shit herself when she gets home to see i did the dishes and cleaned the toilet in the same day.

saw new songs today from David Bowie and Tom Waits with Keith Richards. my ears have been in ecstasy for most of the day.

a big warm up is on the way here. close to 60 by the end of the weekend. that should do the trick to make sure everyone gets sick. hopefully, whatever rain that is supposed to come along with the warmer temps is dried by the time the temps go back down next week. i really don't want to replace the few inches of snow we have left with a few inches of ice. not good.

i'm not allowing myself to get happy at all that the NHL season will be starting 2 days before i turn 37. though, i did join a fantasy hockey league last night. my hypocrisy runs deep my friends.

with that in mind, if anyone wants to send me anything for my birthday, you are more than welcome to do so.

music today:

David Bowie - Best of Bowie
Nine Inch Nails - Broken

"Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose." - Baltasar Gracian

Sunday, January 6, 2013

how a bad back can ruin a good weekend

my Saturday was pretty good.

team USA wins the gold at the World Juniors.

Robin van Persie pulls out a late goal to give Manchester United a draw against West Ham. replay should be in a week or two, this time at Old Trafford.

the Dayton Flyers hold on for their 10th win of the season. i was happy for the win, but, they played like shit for most of the game. they should have buried UAB, instead hold on to win by 7. some things never change. they can't beat the spread at home against anyone it seems.

then, before i fall asleep after some ROH, i hear rumblings that the NHL lockout could be over soon.

i wake up Sunday to see the lockout is over, although i refuse to get my hopes up just yet. get all the trash picked up and get ready to go upstairs to put on some more clothing to go out to feed the cats.

and then it happens. that holy shit feeling that i have dreaded for the last 5 years or so now. as i'm taking the first step up my back completely locks up. now mind you, i still managed to get up the stairs, get dressed, feed the cats, get back to the house walking over the sheet of ice we have here on the farm, and get some ice on it before the first spasm took place.

the cold did nothing at first. tried some heat and that felt pretty good. of course, until the spasms started. got those calmed down (we have no pain pills in the house that i'm aware of, so, hello my old friend alcohol) and got some ben gay cold on it. that seemed to do the trick, at least for a few hours.

there are times where i wish i had no pain tolerance. i'm sure in a few days i'll get an x-ray, i'll have some bulging discs, here comes the steroid shots and rehab again. or maybe not. only time will tell i guess. really, all i'm hoping for this evening is to be able to sleep with out screaming.

by the way, got 3 of the 4 NFL playoff games correct. would have been all 4 if the Colts remembered you have to score touchdowns to win.

if you don't see any posts from me for a few days, don't be alarmed, just know that it's probably impossible for me to sit at a computer long enough to post anything. if those days turn into weeks, i'll be sure to have someone post what hospital or morgue i'm at.

music today:

Johnny Cash - My Mother's Hymn Book

"Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better." - Albert Camus

response from Zygote in my Coffee

i heard back from Brian Fugett at Zygote in my Coffee on my poetry submission from November. my poems "the fountain of heartbreak", "pariahs", "decisions", and "the lost art" have been accepted for publication. they are scheduled to appear in issue #140, due out Jan. 15.

Friday, January 4, 2013

response from The Camel Saloon

i heard back from Russell at The Camel Saloon on my poetry submission from earlier today. my poems "solve every problem" and "it could have been something more" have been accepted for publication.

bring on the weekend

wrote my first poems of 2013 today. i believe all 3 are pretty damn good. i imagine if they get published, as they were all submitted today, i'll know for sure that someone other than me thinks they are good.

sent off poems today to The Camel Saloon and The Gap Toothed Madness. when i hear back from these places i'll be sure to post it here on the blog.

other than that and some porn today, just resting up for the weekend. team USA in the gold medal game of the World Juniors will start off my Saturday. then, Manchester United in the 3rd round of the FA Cup. would be nice to keep the winning streak going. then, some NFL playoffs before i get ready to go see the Dayton Flyers play Saturday night. other than the snow that is supposed to come, i can't think of a better start to the weekend. more NFL playoffs on Sunday and hopefully 3 victory beers from the day before.

hope everyone has a good weekend.

music today:

The Killers - Hot Fuss
David Gray - White Ladder (this CD was sent to me by a woman over a decade ago. of course, i have lost touch with her. so, wherever you may be Kelly, i do hope you are doing well. i still think of you when i play this music.)
Muddy Waters - Blues Legend
Pantera - Official Live:101 Proof

"I see nothing in space as promising as the view from a Ferris wheel." - E.B. White

Thursday, January 3, 2013

a rare moment indeed

i normally pride myself on being right. being right as close to 100% of the time as much as i can. so, it truly is a rare moment when i'm very happy to be wrong.

woke up early this morning/still night to me after a nap. what i witnessed was something i did not expect to see.

team USA absolutely destroyed Canada today at the World Juniors 5-1. i didn't see that one coming at all. not even imagined it could happen. i'm so happy to have been wrong about this team. they play Sweden in the gold medal game on Saturday. thankfully, at 8 am, so i'll actually be able to sleep decently before the game. what makes me even more happy is that the New York Rangers draft pick, J.T. Miller, looks like he's going to be a player. and sooner rather than later. music to my ears.

the wind has picked up here a little today, so now it really feels cold. between the furnace and the heaters, still around 70 inside the farmhouse. barely.

got a little editing work done today and i believe tomorrow will be the first poetry hunt of the new year. dust off the unpublished file and see if i can find any gems. if not, tomorrow will be a writing day.

music today:

Levon Helm - Dirt Farmer
Garth Brooks - No Fences
Cypress Hill - Live at The Fillmore

"I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen." - Ernest Hemingway

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

winter as i used to remember her

first off, this blog post is brought to you by The Sam Roberts Show Online. episode 39 is highly recommended. you can find it on iTunes, Stitcher, and by going here:

it's been an interesting 2013 so far. managed to stay up to see the ball drop but with no mumbling Dick Clark to laugh at, it just wasn't the same.

woke up in the morning to see Manchester United win easy over Wigan. 2 from RvP and 2 from the Mexican god Chicharito. 2 clean sheets in a row. i'm fucking amazed i just typed that. keep it up boys.

manged to pick all 6 bowl games correctly on New Year's Day. which, thankfully, included a Michigan loss. that never gets old.

the weather has taken a turn to holy shit, this is what winter used to be like. 9 damn degrees this morning. i don't mind it, just hate walking on ice. not fun when you have back problems.

woke up early this morning to watch team USA destroy the Czech Republic 7-0 at the World Juniors. next up is Canada. semi-finals. winner goes to the gold medal game. another 4 am start time. suppose, i'll be bleary eyed once again.

thankfully, the Dan Patrick Show is back. that helps me greatly in the morning. also, allows me to put off feeding the cats and birds until it gets a little warmer outside. you know, like 13 degrees.

had a doctor visit today. given my family history of diabetes and thyroid problems and my history with blood clots, i'll be going to get my blood drawn in a few days i guess. i'm not really worried about what they find. i'm betting on nothing, just like 4 years ago.

if you happen to notice on the right hand side of this blog, i've added some links to Nerdist and WTF. hope you enjoy.

music today:

Red Wanting Blue - Live at City Winery

"Follow your own star!" - Dante Alighieri