Monday, July 16, 2018

there's always a threat...

i have had a damn headache since about midnight last night. when it finally fucking rained this afternoon, the headache went away a little. i suppose i should try to get more than 4 hours of sleep as well. i figure i'll catch up on all that sleep when i'm dead. i won't be doing anything else, that's for sure.

France won the World Cup yesterday 4-2. Croatia put up a good fight, but the talent on France was just too good. i was very happy for Paul Pogba. he scored the winning goal for France and that will hopefully shut up all his fucking haters. plus, hopefully it means good things to come for him on Manchester United this upcoming season.

the New York Yankees lost to Cleveland yesterday 5-2. that means they enter the All-Star break 4 1/2 games behind Boston in the division.

WWE Extreme Rules was pretty good last night. it could have been great but the crowd in Pittsburgh fucking sucked. they wanted to be part of the show way too much. i thought it really took away from the main event last night.

Total Bellas was good last night. i believe the season finale is next week.

Sharp Objects was great last night.

Succession was really good last night.

The Affair was excellent last night.

Who is America? was fucking hilarious last night.

Our Cartoon President was really funny last night.

Big Brother was pretty good last night.

Power was great last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight and Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind. i'll be watching Monday Night Raw for most of the evening.

i might check out some of the home run derby tonight. might.

i wanted to go to the post office today, but i certainly didn't want to be outside with this headache. i might go tomorrow before i go to get my blood pressure checked. or i might just go later in the week.

i probably will be on here tomorrow after i get my blood pressure checked at the doctor's office. i figure my luck, this will be another gift from my mother. but, i'd rather go on medication for it while i have insurance.

i hope everyone had a great weekend.

dos soñadores nunca deberían enamorarse

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Prince - Adore
Childish Gambino - Terrified
Alicia Keys - Fallin'

"Anyone who does anything creative is always gonna want to change." - Will Ferrell

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

response from The Bond Street Review

i heard back from Eric at The Bond Street Review on my recent poetry submission. my poems "all these years of hatred" and "as long as i have lived in the place" have been accepted for publication in the Summer 2018 issue, which should be out in early August.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

nobody likes a wet newspaper

i noticed it was drizzling this morning. i correctly assumed they wouldn't have the newspaper in plastic. so i got out there before it got too wet. this is the only day the paper is worth a fuck.

i did write 3 poems yesterday. i typed them up and i really like them. i was hoping to write more but my mind tends to wander in the summer months. just too much going on to distract an overworking brain to begin with.

the New York Yankees won last night in Cleveland, 5-4. they will go for the series win this afternoon.

ROH was pretty good last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Big Brother, Power, Total Bellas, Sharp Objects, Succession, The Affair, Who is America? and Our Cartoon President.

i'll be watching WWE Extreme Rules for most of the evening.

i am looking forward to the World Cup final later this morning. i'm picking Croatia with the upset, but i certainly wouldn't be shocked if France won by a couple goals.

i hope everyone had a great Saturday. hopefully, your Sunday will be even better.

as of right now, i don't have anything planned for Monday. so i'll probably be on here in the afternoon if nothing pops up. (get your mind out of the gutter)

siempre soy el que pierdo al final

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Ray LaMontagne - It's Always Been You
Jack White - Connected By Love
Gary Jules - Mad World

"We shall be better prepared for the future if we see how terrible, how doomed the present is." 
                                                                                                        - Iris Murdoch

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

Saturday, July 14, 2018

nothing like a mixture of anger and heat...

when the first words you hear in a doctor's appointment is the doctor saying i'm not sure why they sent you here, you can imagine my reaction. we had just driven 30 minutes in 90 degree heat to the hospital mom was supposed to be at. of course, she didn't check the exact place where we were supposed to be, so we ended up having to walk close to a 1/2 mile to the other side of the hospital to get to the appointment. by this time, my mother's back was screaming in pain. the doctor comes in and says he's looked at mom's records and this is a fight between an insurance company and the government, way above his pay scale. he said there is clearly no way mom could return to her old job and if there is a job out there that mom could do, good luck finding it. so, we went through hell for a 10 minute talk. the receptionist told me it would be quicker to walk around the building to get back to where i parked and mom could just wait in the lobby. i took that route and about halfway through it, i realized why i should have just made the way back through the maze inside the hospital. it was fucking hot as hell. and i was dressed in all black. joy. by the time i got to car, i had a good sweat going on. i still had to do the fucking grocery shopping. i went back and picked up mom (i had to drive around the block sort of to do that) and she wanted some lunch. i agreed, as nothing good comes from me going to the grocery store on an empty stomach.

i didn't get to the grocery store until around 3 in the afternoon. i knew it was going to be a fucking madhouse. and it was. i was able to get everything on the list and keep it around $100. thankfully, i was able to get everything home before the frozen foods were no longer frozen.

i didn't have the writing session i wanted to yesterday and i didn't write anything last night, mostly because i was too fucking pissed at the Yankees loss. of course, they would fucking lose on the same night Boston finally fucking lost a game.

the Yankees lost 6-5 to the Indians last night. i put most of the loss on the manager. why did he leave the starter in as long as he did? why the fuck was Aaron Judge trying to steal with Giancarlo Stanton on deck? that one really stung as Stanton hit what should have been the game tying homer in the next inning. just a fucking frustrating loss. hopefully, they will win tonight and maybe Boston could lose again.

VICE was pretty sobering last night. no one really talks about the entire generation of kids that have lost parents to the opioid epidemic.

Major League Wrestling was pretty good last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be ROH.

World Cup Update:
Belgium defeated England 2-0 for 3rd place. Belgium pretty much controlled the entire first half. England made a change at halftime that really changed the way the game went. and just as it looked like England was going to even the game, Belgium scored late to seal the game away. France takes on Croatia tomorrow for the title.

i've been watching videos of black women masturbating in vehicles here lately. i had a killer line come to me while watching, so i do think there will be some poems written today.

i will most likely be on here tomorrow before the World Cup final starts. tomorrow is a fucking busy one given everything happening. so, if i don't write the blog in the morning, you shouldn't expect one.

i hope everyone has a great Saturday. enjoy the sunshine, the pretty ladies and as much free booze as you can possibly handle.

todos mis mejores recuerdos vienen de una botella

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

deafheaven - Ordinary Corrupt Human Love

"It takes a long time for a man to look like his portrait." - James Whistler

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

Friday, July 13, 2018

my 6 poems at Record Magazine...

my poems "i look in the mirror and see my father", "makes room for progress", "where the trash belongs", "most call it love", "my escape" and "a creepy old fucker" have been published at Record Magazine. you can find the poems by going here:
https://magazine-record.blogspot.com/2018/07/i-look-in-mirror-and-see-my-father.html

time for a hot Friday the 13th...

should be a joy wearing all black as hot as it is going to be today. i'm one of those superstitious fucks, so today is one of those days where i truly get to enjoy it. and seeing that 13 is my lucky number, hopefully the concept of luck is true today.

the New York Yankees fell behind last night against one of the best pitchers in baseball. thankfully, the offense showed up in Cleveland and made sure it didn't matter. the Yankees defeated the Indians 7-4 last night. that puts the Yankees 30 games over .500 for the season (61-31). hopefully they will win again tonight.

Vice News Tonight had another great week of shows.

Big Brother was excellent last night. i absolutely love that Scottie was the one that had them wear the Swaggy C shirts and then he stabbed him in the back and voted him out. loved it. Scottie then went out and won HOH. of course, he then told everything to Tyler, who i'm starting to think is production's favorite and is whom they want to win the show.

Lip Sync Battle was very good last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be VICE and Major League Wrestling.

i have to take mom to her bullshit doctor's appointment this afternoon. this is her former employer's attempt to prove that she can still work and they don't have to pay her disability anymore. mom's back is killing her. thankfully, she gets an injection for that at the end of this month.

after that, i will do the grocery shopping. i have no clue how long her appointment will be. i wouldn't be shocked if i'm getting to the grocery store around 3 or 4 this afternoon. joy.

i do plan on doing some writing while at mom's doctor's appointment. hopefully i have some good poems swimming in this head today.

i will be on here tomorrow after the 3rd place game at the World Cup between England and Belgium.

i hope everyone has a great weekend.

donde los demonios tienen miedo de tomar vuelo

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Dirty Heads - That's All I Need
Diane Coffee - Everyday
Royal Deluxe - I'm Gonna Do My Thing
Tash Sultana - Electric Feel (Live)

"If I were a serious person, I'd probably have a real job." - Harrison Ford

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

Thursday, July 12, 2018

the rare day of sleeping in...

when i got up this morning around 6 to piss, i just felt so fucking tired that for a change, i decided to go back to bed. amazingly, when i woke up again it was almost 10 in the morning. so much for getting anything done in the morning. hell, i was drinking coffee when i'm usually eating lunch.

apparently my bitching worked. i got the copies of my new chapbook in the mail yesterday. just 15 days after they were mailed. so, if you would be interested in an autographed copy of the taste of blood on christmas morning, email me (jcampb4593@aol.com) and i'm sure we can work something out. if you are interested in getting the book from the publisher, go here:
http://www.analogsubmission.com/product/the-taste-of-blood-on-christmas-morning-by-j-j-campbell

World Cup Update:
Croatia shocked England with a goal in the second segment of extra time to win 2-1 yesterday. that sets up a World Cup final of France vs. Croatia on Sunday. i picked Croatia as the dark horse in this event 3 weeks ago in this blog. i figure i'll probably stick with that now that they are in the final. the third place game will be Belgium vs. England on Saturday.

the New York Yankees got some good pitching from Sonny Gray (finally) last night and hit 3 home runs to split the series with Baltimore, 9-0. the Yankees start a series tonight in Cleveland.

NXT was great last night. the main event was holy shit good.

Lucha Underground was excellent last night.

Big Brother was good last night. i love the plan to backdoor Swaggy. i won't be upset if he gets evicted tonight at all.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:


on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight, Big Brother and Lip Sync Battle.

i did listen to the latest Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast this afternoon. you can find that by going here: http://notsam.com/wrestlingpodcast/2018/7/12/wrestling-podcast-194-booker-t

the weather was pretty nice today, not much humidity at all. that made the drive to get the x-rays and paperwork mom needs for her bullshit appointment tomorrow somewhat pleasant.

i will be on here in the morning tomorrow as mom's appointment is in the afternoon. i have to do the grocery shopping after that.

i finally got to talk my lover in Italy today. just a day after our first month together, we had a nice argument. ah, love. i think she understands my financial situation a bit better now. if she stays with me knowing that, i will be even more impressed.

that's all for me kids.

ser pobre y enamorado, una receta para el desastre

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Tomasa Del Real w/DJ Blass - Barre Con El Pelo
Cigarettes After Sex - Sesame Syrup
Thievery Corporation - Music to Make You Stagger
Green Day - American Idiot

"Wealth is the ability to fully experience life." - Henry David Thoreau

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

when a couple of madmen get to talking and then genius just happens to come out...


Wednesday, July 11, 2018

keep your enemies closer...

apparently, certain people don't understand that once the bridge is burned, your best bet is to never fucking get close to it again. so, i saw yesterday that Debbie Kirk was talking shit about my mother on the GoFundMe page, that for some fucking reason was accepting donations again. my name was still clearly on the page, which totally infuriated me. i contacted the guy that contacted me over Debbie's bogus fraud claims and told him what was going on. i told him i figured she still had me listed as the beneficiary so she could claim i was stealing from her again. i don't have an account with GoFundMe any longer, so this could not be possible. i checked last night and my name is still listed but the account is once again not accepting donations. i know Debbie has surgery today and if she has any friends left, i doubt any of them are competent enough to actually start a GoFundMe and have the money go directly to her. i joked that if she happens to die in surgery, they could just take down the page completely as i don't want my name associated with that cunt any longer. i'm not sure i can make it any fucking clearer than that.

i heard back on the poems i sent to Riggwelter the other day. possibly the nicest rejection letter i have ever received. so there's another 5 back on the pile.

World Cup update:
France defeated Belgium yesterday 1-0. today England takes on Croatia in the other semifinal.

the New York Yankees lost last night to Baltimore 6-5. they are now 3 1/2 games behind Boston in the division. they have to win tonight to get a split in the series.

Smackdown was pretty good last night.

205 Live was very good last night.

The Jim Jefferies Show was fucking hilarious last night.

Deadliest Catch was good last night.

Fuck That's Delicious was great last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight, Big Brother and Lucha Underground. i'll watch NXT sometime tonight on WWE Network.

i have to take mom to the post office sometime today to sign for some mail because the person that delivers the mail doesn't know how to ring the fucking doorbell.

it would also be nice if the mail i know that was sent from England almost two weeks ago would actually arrive already, or i wish they were done reading it. i have no doubt that the magazines that get sent to me, the post office will peruse before they actually put them in the mailbox.

thanks for all the positive comments on the poems published recently at Misfit Magazine and The Beatnik Cowboy. i really do appreciate them.

i will probably be on here tomorrow after i take mom to get a copy of her x-rays for the bullshit she has to go to on Friday. god willing, that will be the final time her old job tries to show that she can still work. she had to postpone the injection for her back that she really, really needs so she could do this shit. to say i'm a little pissy at the moment would be an understatement.

that's all for now kids.

si la ira es un regalo, estoy abriendo regalos todo el día

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

The Jesus and Mary Chain - Reverence
Chicano Batman - Black Lipstick
Drivin' N' Cryin' - Straight to Hell
Cold War Kids w/Bishop Briggs - Love On the Brain

"Writing is an act of faith, not a trick of grammar." - E.B. White

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

my 3 poems in Misfit Magazine #24

my poems "more than just blood", "as dark as the middle of the night" and "turns to black" have been published in Misfit Magazine #24. you can find the poems by going here:
http://misfitmagazine.net/archive/No-24/campbell.html

love can be hazardous for your mental health...

i was thinking about this last night while chatting with my beautiful lover in Italy; clearing up some misunderstandings and remembering the joys of being in love with someone while they are menstruating. i'm not sure there could be anything more hazardous for your mental health than being madly in love while being fucking poor. i'm hoping to pull off some romantic shit for her birthday later this month. i think i may have found something my broke ass can swing, but there's always that voice in the back of my head that thinks it will never be enough. this is the joy of having shitty self-esteem, a disease that has fucked with me since birth i believe. as i told her last night, i am going to do everything i possibly can to make this work or i will happily die trying. i'm sure there's a part of me more looking forward to death than it should be. and i'm really trying to beat that fucker down, but his will is often stronger than mine. it certainly makes for an awkward silence here and there.

the New York Yankees split their doubleheader yesterday with Baltimore, losing the first game 5-4 and winning the second game 10-2. they are now 2 1/2 games behind Boston in the division. hopefully they will win tonight over a Baltimore team they have no business losing to.

Monday Night Raw was pretty good last night, but i didn't watch all of it. i was flipping back and forth with the baseball game. the main event was excellent last night. i could watch Seth Rollins and Drew McIntyre wrestle for another 20 years and not get bored of that.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight, Smackdown, The Jim Jefferies Show, Deadliest Catch and Fuck That's Delicious. i'll watch 205 Live sometime tonight on WWE Network.

i am really looking forward to watching France vs. Belgium today in the World Cup. it's going to be fascinating for most Manchester United fans as it will be Pogba vs. Lukaku. i'm not really rooting for either team, i just want an entertaining match.

i have dishes to put away and trash to pick up. and i think there is a chance for thunderstorms this afternoon. summer in Ohio. wait ten damn minutes and the weather will change.

that's all for me kids.

esto es lo que sucede cuando se vive durante más de cuarenta años y nunca jamás verdaderamente sientes amado

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Bush - Alien
Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah
Sade - No Ordinary Love

"Love is a reciprocal torture." - Marcel Proust

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

Monday, July 9, 2018

the return of the summer heat

i have been a busy boy today, so no time like the present to get to the good shit...

i sent out 37 poems today; 3 each to Pyrokinection and Mad Swirl; 5 each to Nerve Cowboy, Easy Street, The Bond Street Review, Riggwelter and Synchronized Chaos (already accepted for publication and 6 poems to Record Magazine. when i hear back from all these places, i will pass along the verdicts.

the New York Yankees won yesterday, 2-1 in 10 innings at Toronto. they play a doubleheader in Baltimore today as the start of a 4 game series with the Orioles. hopefully i'll be drinking a double tonight.

Big Brother was pretty good last night.

Total Bellas was good last night.

Power was excellent last night.

The Affair was very good last night.

the season finale of I'm Dying Up Here was excellent last night. i certainly didn't see the death coming at the end of the episode.

Succession was very good last night.

Sharp Objects was fucking great last night. i can already tell i'm going to love this show.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight. i'll be watching Monday Night Raw for most of the evening.

i will probably be on here tomorrow before France plays Belgium in the World Cup. if not, it will be after the game is over.

i do hope everyone had a great weekend.

the shitty hot weather has returned here so the air conditioning has been running all day long it seems.

until tomorrow kids...

mi amante quiere más videos, el monstruo dentro de mí va a tener su día ...

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Led Zeppelin - When The Levee Breaks
The Rolling Stones - Let It Loose
Cream - Sunshine of Your Love

"Sometimes there is no darker place than our thoughts, the moonless midnight of the mind." - Dean Koontz

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:


response from Synchronized Chaos

i heard back from Cristina at Synchronized Chaos on my poetry submission from earlier today. my poems "taste of a better life", "exhaustion", "another glimpse of society", "all the old traps again" and "to a dream woman that lives in rome" have been accepted for publication in the August issue.

Sunday, July 8, 2018

my 3 poems at The Beatnik Cowboy

my poems "the unwashed masses", "with such hunger" and "the most elusive woman on the planet" have been published at The Beatnik Cowboy. you can find the poems by going here:
https://beatnikcowboy.com/2018/07/08/j-j-campbell-5/

it's like punching a brick wall with a pillow...

it seems no matter how much or how little effort i put into anything, some shit just isn't going to go my way. i find the courage to get over my self-hatred and make a video and of course, it's too large. and i wish i was talking about something other than the video. add in a little rejection and pain and you have nearly every Sunday morning of my adult life. and sadly, i know i'm not going to be able to find the pleasure in the pain forever.

a little poetry news to pass along: i heard back on my poetry submission from last month to Squawk Back. they rejected all 10 poems i sent. that was a nice kick in the nuts. well, there's 10 more back on the pile. and like the glutton for punishment i am, my next round of poems will go out tomorrow.

World Cup update:
Croatia defeated Russia on penalty kicks (4-3) in an absolutely crazy fucking game. so now the final four is set up. France plays Belgium on Tuesday and Croatia takes on England on Wednesday.

the NJPW G1 Special in San Francisco last night was really good. the angle at the end i totally didn't expect. that should make for an interesting summer for The Bullet Club.

ROH was good last night.

Bill Maher: Live from Oklahoma was pretty fucking funny last night.

the New York Yankees won yesterday 8-5. of course, they had a couple injuries that i hope aren't serious. hopefully they will win the series this afternoon.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Big Brother, Total Bellas, Power, Sharp Objects, Succession, The Affair and the season finale of I'm Dying Up Here.

of course, i had to make the video i did a little artistic, you know me. but, it was easily the best shot i have ever got of completion.

i imagine i will be on here tomorrow after a trip to the post office. i have some poems to mail out.

i believe the shitty humid weather returns tomorrow. so, i'm hoping to actually enjoy the windows being open today. other than the runny nose from this morning, so far so good.

i hope everyone had a good Saturday. i hope your Sunday is even better.

Creo que en realidad la mayoría de mí ya está muerto

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Gary Clark Jr. - Our Love (Live)
Marc Broussard - Lonely Night in Georgia (Live)
Chris Isaak - Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing (Live)

"A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it." Jean de La Fontaine

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

Saturday, July 7, 2018

the advantages to not sleeping...

so, i just happened to catch my sexy, beautiful woman in Italy early this morning (morning for her, 1 in the morning for me) and we had quite the conversation. and she became the second person this week to ask me to come to Europe. part of me really wishes i could drop everything and just go. but, i have never had fuck you money in my life, so i know that's not possible. and when she told me her mother wants to meet me, i started to laugh. no, i don't think she does. of course, she tells me this right as i was typing her a story of me eating her out. even as perverse as i am, that was fucking weird. but, when she sent me a little video last night, let's just say i'm totally in fucking love. so, now it becomes my search for courage to send a little video back, especially given my self-hatred. and deciding what i have to sell off to start saving money to first get a fucking passport and then actually board a plane for the first time in 30 years to fly to Italy. and even as i type this, i think this could all be a ploy or an evil plot from god just to fuck with me. of course, when your mind is consumed with a beautiful woman, certain shitty things are allowed to persist without much care.

the New York Yankees got another shitty start from Sonny Gray last night and lost 6-2 at Toronto. hopefully they will get a win this afternoon.

NJPW was excellent last night. i think i could watch Omega wrestle Okada for the rest of my life and never get bored.

Major League Wrestling was pretty good last night.

VICE was really good last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be ROH, Bill Maher: Live in Oklahoma and NJPW G1 Special in San Francisco.

World Cup Update:
England defeated Sweden 2-0 this morning. this is the first time England has made it this far in 28 years. they will play the winner of Croatia vs. Russia.

the weather was nice enough that i was able to get out this morning and feed the birds. plus, we were able to open the windows, turn the air conditioning off and air the house out a bit. of course, the air conditioning will be back on soon as summer is supposed to be back like hell early next week.

i will probably be on here in the morning tomorrow. i will know by then for sure when the next round of poems will be going out.

i hope everyone has a great Saturday. my apologies to everyone in Sweden, at least you made it farther in the World Cup than Germany, the side i foolishly picked to win it.

cuando una mujer hermosa te muestra su coño, sabes que las mareas de tu vida han cambiado

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Nine Inch Nails - Physical (You're So)
Cigarettes After Sex - Crush
Prince & the Revolution - Darling Nikki
The Cure - Lullaby

"Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither." - Jim Gaffigan

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:


Friday, July 6, 2018

i'm still amazed god hates me as much as i hate myself...

i should have known exactly what today was going to be like when i pulled into the driveway from the grocery store this morning and there was the cousin that molested me waving at me. it's one thing to accept the pain, it's another to try to withstand constant torture and pretend death wouldn't be the better option. needless to say, the poems didn't get sent out today.

i did go to the grocery store early this morning. of course, they didn't have everything i needed. so, i had to go to the grocery store in town to get my bread and some things mom wanted from the deli. mom didn't like the dinner she made last night, so i'm now in charge of making all meals. she acted like she was depressed about it, but i think it was just a simple ploy to get out of doing anything for awhile. of course, she did something to her horrific back again. i can't wait for her to get another injection later this month.

World Cup Update:
so, i didn't get back from the second store until halftime of the France vs. Uruguay game. mom said France had scored as soon as i left to go to the local grocery store. figures. France scored again in the second half and won the game 2-0. i did watch all of Brazil vs. Belgium. Belgium outplayed Brazil for the majority of the game, although Brazil made it interesting late. Belgium won 2-1. that means the first semifinals is set. France vs. Belgium. that will happen on Tuesday. tomorrow, Sweden plays England and Russia takes on Croatia.

Big Brother was pretty good last night. when the cast realizes that Steve is a former undercover cop and not a mechanic, they will know they did the right thing voting him out first. Kaitlyn won HOH. she is bat shit crazy, so it should be an entertaining week.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be VICE, NJPW and Major League Wrestling.

i either got too much sun this morning or something i ate has declared war on me as i have spent most of this afternoon sitting on the shitter. i don't mind when a poem or two arises from these situations. but, when it's agony that comes instead of poetry... not good.

the New York Yankees start a series tonight in Toronto. i'd love to see them go on a long winning streak before the All-Star break starts.

i will probably be on here tomorrow sometime in the afternoon. the weather is supposed to finally break here and be somewhat decent. so, i might actually get out and feed the birds for a change.

i hope everyone has a great weekend.

y espero que el mal dentro de ti no quiera matarte

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Beth Orton - Thinking About Tomorrow
Valerie June - Love Told a Lie
Nikka Costa - Nothing Compares 2 U
Charles Lloyd & The Marvels w/Lucinda Williams - Masters of War (Live)

"In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher." - Dalai Lama

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

Thursday, July 5, 2018

sometimes, the nightmares make me smile...

the one thing i truly hate about it being warm at night is my mind is never even fucking close to shutting off. and as much as i want to believe i could get a good 5 hours of sleep if i wanted to, there would be no more than probably 30 fucking minutes of my mind just being blank. now, the writer in me loves this shit, as there is always material. but, it is also the equivalent of burning the candle at both ends. and at age 42, i also understand it's a damn good way to make sure you die before 50.

i spent my 4th of July masturbating to women selling bra & panties on QVC and HSN, listening to mariachi music and watching professional wrestling. i can't think of anything much more American than that. and of course, the hot dog eating contest.

i did do a little poetry work yesterday. i believe i know where my next 37 poems are going. i'm shooting to have those out this weekend most likely, or early next week.

the New York Yankees defeated Atlanta yesterday 6-2 to win the series. unfortunately, Gleyber Torres got hurt and is now on the disabled list (right hip strain). hopefully, he won't be out too long. the Yankees are off today and start a series tomorrow night at Toronto.

NXT was really good last night.

Lucha Underground was excellent last night.

Big Brother was pretty good last night. i have no clue who is getting evicted tonight.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Big Brother.

i did listen to the latest Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast today. you can find that by going here:
http://notsam.com/wrestlingpodcast/2018/7/5/wrestling-podcast-193-the-ass-special

if i get my ass in gear tomorrow, i'm planning on going to the grocery store in the morning. i'm not counting on it, but since my prescriptions are ready, i wouldn't mind getting the groceries before it gets too fucking hot. if that happens, i'm hoping to be back home before the World Cup quarterfinals start. and then i might just get some poems out before i do the blog. or, i could get in a mood tonight and the whole fucking plan changes. joy.

the guys came out and did the official measurements for the new windows this afternoon. those will be in by the end of summer, if that ever comes. it will be really nice to have new windows in. the ones in now are original to when the house was built in the 90's.

that's all for me kids. i hope everyone enjoyed their 4th of July. if you are lucky enough to have a long ass weekend, what the fuck are you doing reading this blog? enjoy life.

hasta el momento, el ancla no ha regresado

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Mark Lanegan - I'll Take Care of You
Zoe Keating - Snowmelt (EP)
DJ Shadow - Midnight In A Perfect World
Mariachi El Bronx - Revolution Girl (Live)

"Clowns are the pegs on which the circus is hung." - P.T. Barnum

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

independence, what is that again?...

i suppose i never fully bought in to the meaning of any holiday in this country as a child. the Fourth of July was always just fireworks, hot dogs, dysfunction and people bitching about politics over alcohol. i don't think it was ever about freedom once in my lifetime. i always think of the George Carlin line, freedom is the illusion of choice, or something like that. it's mainly a day to sit around, bitch about the heat, drink too much, and then laugh at the animals as the fireworks scare the shit out of them tonight. when i lived out on the farm i would usually have 2 or 3 cats come up missing after the 4th. the fireworks would chase them right into the waiting mouths of the coyotes. the cycle of life i suppose.

so today is basically a hot dog eating contest, some baseball, and then catching up on some sleep. i do plan on doing some poetry work today. i have a few new places in mind to send to. that will let me know if what i'm writing now is actually any good or not.

i did write 1 poem last night. i tried to be a good boy and go to sleep at a decent hour. i spent the first 30 minutes tossing and turning because i had a line pop into my head. 2 1/2 hours later, i had a really, really good poem. i will hopefully find a potential home for that later today.

the New York Yankees won last night over Atlanta, 8-5. they will go for the series win this afternoon.

Deadliest Catch was really interesting last night. the whole episode was about the Bering Sea Triangle. fascinating shit.

Smackdown was really good last night.

205 Live was excellent last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Big Brother and Lucha Underground. i'll watch NXT sometime tonight on WWE Network.

i imagine at some point tonight i'll probably watch some fireworks. our little town doesn't do any on the 4th. they do their fireworks when the community picnic happens, whenever the fuck that is. i've lived in this area since 1997 and i'm still plotting my exit.

not exactly sure when i'll be on here tomorrow. i know the guy that's measuring the windows will be here at noon. and i will probably have to go to the grocery store to pick up a new prescription for me. so, perhaps in the early evening hours. maybe in the morning if a wild hair gets up my ass.

i hope everyone has a safe and fun Fourth of July. comfort your pets and take it easy on the drinking in these hot ass temperatures. and then take it easy again.

es gracioso, huimos de reyes y reinas solo buscando llegar a ser como ellos.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Bruce Springsteen - Born in the U.S.A.
Shooter Jennings w/George Jones - 4th Of July
Simon & Garfunkel - America
David Bowie - I'm Afraid of Americans (V1) (Radio Edit)

"Easy reading is damn hard writing." - Nathaniel Hawthorne

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day: