the end of a year i will certainly never forget

2015 will be remembered by me as the year my biggest obstacle to actually enjoying life finally left this earth. my father, his demons, and every little nugget of hate he poured into me finally had the chance to be erased from my brain when he died in late April. now i'm pretty sure it will take the rest of my life to un-fuck him from my brain, but at least the possibility of hope now exists. of course, i still haven't been to the graveside yet, so i'm not 100% sure that fucker is in the ground. and since the calls have stopped asking me to pay his bills, i am 100% sure that he left me absolutely nothing, if he even had a will. maybe when i turn 40 i'll have an  exorcism and see if suddenly my life will turn around. it surely wouldn't hurt anything.

i will also remember 2015 as the year i left the farm i so dearly loved to move next door to the parents of the cousin that molested me. my mother did apologize to me the other day in a peculiar kind of way for never doing anything when i told her about what happened. of course, she did it while telling me that my sister is worried i'm going to kill her one day because she didn't do anything. i wasn't sure if i should take that as a compliment that my sister thinks i'm capable or be insulted that she thinks it's even possible. i would kill myself before i would kill any of my family, except maybe for a certain person or two.

and lastly, 2015 will be remembered as the year my writing and this blog took, what i would like to believe, is a giant leap forward. while i haven't been as prolific with my writing as in previous years, i do believe my writing is better. i attribute that to doing this everyday. it not only keeps my brain active, it also flushes out other things that eventually end up in poems. feel free to use the contact form to tell me otherwise.

now, onto the crazy happenings from last night...

when the Dayton Flyers were up by over 20 points early last night, i reminded myself that there is no fucking chance it's going to be this easy. when Arkansas was leading in the second half, i figured that Dayton would come back. when Dayton forgot to foul when up by 3 points with 4 seconds left and Arkansas hit the 3 to send the game to overtime, i was pretty sure Dayton was going to fucking lose this game. when Arkansas was up by 4 in OT, i was really worried. when Dayton kept missing foul shots after somehow getting the lead back, i was hoping they wouldn't piss away another lead. thankfully, they didn't. Dayton won 85-81 in OT. that was coach Archie Miller's 100th win at the school. Dayton is now 10-2 and start the A10 schedule this Saturday at Duquesne.

so while at Waffle House after the game, and this pretty much sums up my life, we were getting ready to leave and this stunning looking woman walked in. now stunning from where i live is someone who's probably a 6 or 7 in the regular world. i kept trying to make eye contact, but it never happened. i really need to get a damn vehicle so i can actually go places by myself again. rather, i need mom to get herself a new vehicle so i can have the one she has now.

we didn't get home until after midnight. i turned on the NHL Network to check out the New York Rangers highlights. much to my surprise, they beat Tampa last night 5-2. i was really, REALLY happy about that.

sick hands from Dom on that winning goal from last night.

i woke up this morning in plenty of time to catch team USA beat Denmark 4-1 in the World Juniors over in Finland. the New York Rangers goalie prospect Brandon Halverson started the game and was really solid in net. the boys finished in second place in the group. they will play the Czech Republic on Jan. 2nd. they have to win that game to advance to have the chance to bring home a medal.

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

the rest of today is going to be about football and drinking. i have a few victory beers to catch up on and the college football playoff is today. i have no clue who is going to win the national championship this year. since Ohio State isn't playing for it, i really don't care.

tomorrow is going to be a busy one as well. Ohio State plays Notre Dame in the Fiesta Bowl.

the Winter Classic is also tomorrow, as the Boston Bruins take on the Montreal Canadiens outdoors in Boston. i always try to catch some of that.

so i imagine i'll be on here sometime tomorrow, maybe in the early evening. i always try to do some writing as well on the first day of a new year. of course, that usually happens in the early morning hours while drunk, so i might have an update for you by waiting to the evening to blog.

i hope everyone has a great night. if you have already celebrated 2016 coming in, i hope you are safe and happy. if you are planning on going out tonight to party, be safe, call if you need bail money. and if you are like me and have no one to celebrate the ball dropping with a kiss, grab a bottle of lotion and remember the time you were in a car in a public park at 6 in the morning with one of the most beautiful women that would ever talk back to you. that has worked for me for the last 18 years.

most of all, enjoy another year gone. soon we'll all be dead. might as well live it up while we're here.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music: (my top 5 songs of the year)

The Struts - Could Have Been Me
Lucero - I Woke Up In New Orleans
Thunderbitch - Closer
Dawes - All Your Favorite Bands
Lana Del Rey - High By the Beach

"Creativity takes courage." - Henri Matisse

and your whatever the fuck i want you to see video of the day:

one of these weirdos that wears shorts in the winter

i'm sure my neighbors love that i go out to get the trash cans or the paper or the mail in a hoodie and shorts. doesn't matter what the weather is like. unless it's snowing or really fucking cold, i'm one of these weirdos that wears shorts in the winter. it's finally starting to feel like winter here. of course, we've had so much damn rain, it figures it would start to freeze now.

team USA destroyed Switzerland today in the World Juniors hockey tournament over in Finland. the boys dominated from the start, winning 10-1. the only Rangers prospect on the team was in goal for the last 30+ minutes of the game. he stopped all 10 shots he faced. they will play Denmark tomorrow morning. if they can win that in regulation, they will finish in second place in the group.

i didn't watch much on television last night. i was over at my uncle's shooting the shit for almost 90 minutes i think. it's rather obvious that his wife wants nothing to do with helping him with his cancer. it's kind of sad to know they have been married for over 60 years and this is how it gets at the end. i wonder why i'm still single?

tonight is a big sports night, but before that, enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

the Dayton Flyers take on Arkansas tonight at home. this is the last non-conference game of the season. coach Archie Miller will be going for his 100th win at the school. and the game is on national television (CBS Sports Network). needless to say, i will be pumped for this one as i will be in attendance.

the New York Rangers take on Tampa tonight. i really hope they play better than they did in Nashville. they are going to have to if they want to win.

i will probably catch the highlights from the hockey game when i get home from the basketball game. i suppose mom and i will go out to eat after the game as well. most likely another trip to Waffle House.

i will be on here tomorrow after the USA game with Denmark and before the HUGE college football games start. it will seem a little weird to be watching football that really means something on New Year's Eve.

that's all for me today kids. i hope everyone is well and looking forward to getting out of 2015.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Charlie Mars - Hell Yeah
Suicidal Tendencies - You Can't Bring Me Down
Digital Underground - The Humpty Dance

"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." - Rudyard Kipling

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

goodbye to the ace of spades

i was scrolling around the internet last night and came across the news. it's not that i was shocked that Lemmy had died. god knows he has looked like death for the last 20 years. it's that i just never thought the fucker would go. one of the nicest humans ever and truly an inspiration to me the day i picked up a bass guitar. i remember the first time as a child i heard Ace of Spades. that was a song that never left my brain. born to lose live to win. thanks for giving all of us outsiders a place at the table.

i picked the NFL game right last night. i did end up getting 5th place in my NFL.com league. and it became official today, i did win both of my CBS Sports fantasy football leagues.

Monday Night Raw was ok last night, at best. i did enjoy The New Day, Kevin Owens beating the shit out of Neville and Dean Ambrose, but too much of the show was just pointless.

Breaking Ground on WWE Network was really good last night. it's amazing how just about everything with NXT is great and everything else could be so much better.

the New York Rangers played a decent 40 minutes last night. for some reason, in the third period they decided to shit the bed. a 1-1 game was suddenly 5-1 in a matter of minutes. i turned it off there as i have seen them lose too much already this season. the final score was 5-3, but the game with Nashville was never that close. they next play at Tampa on Wednesday. thank god i'll be at a basketball game.

here's some this and that for you:

not sure what i'm going to be watching on television tonight. i know i got a good nap in this afternoon watching some soccer. so i'll probably be up late.

that's all for me today. i need to get the trash picked up here and next door (my uncle is home by the way) and figure out what's for dinner.

i hope everyone is enjoying something. whatever that is is your business.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Motorhead - Ace of Spades
Black Sabbath - Heaven and Hell
The Doors - The End

"People don't become better when they're dead; you just talk about them as if they are. But it's not true! People are still assholes, they're just dead assholes!"
- Lemmy Kilmister (Dec. 24, 1945 - Dec. 28, 2015)

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

and just when i thought this day was going to be nothing but rain

i got up this morning and it was pouring outside. raining cats and dogs as they say. for a second, i thought it was going to get biblical. it's been like that nearly all day. it will pour for 45 minutes or so and then quit. and then start back up 20 minutes later and rain for 90 minutes. we have to be around a couple of inches so far. i've got done a decent job of keeping my adrenaline up for most of the day so i don't even think about how much pain i should be in. but if this shit keeps up, agony will hunt me down this evening.

i was up in time to watch team USA take on Sweden this morning in the World Juniors hockey tournament over in Finland. the boys had all the fucking chances in the world, but when you go 0 for 8 on the power play and can't get any of your 46 shots past the goalie, you're not going to win. the USA lost 1-0. they next play on Wednesday against Switzerland.

that was over in time for me to get my mind ready for Manchester United vs. Chelsea. United hit the post twice in the first half. they missed two glorious chances in the second half. they clearly played better today, but that's 8 fucking games in a row without a win. something has to change.

and just when i thought my day was going to be shit, the New York Yankees came to my rescue. i can't believe they traded for Aroldis Chapman from the Reds. that will give the Yankees one of the nastiest bullpens to ever grace the planet earth. and the best thing is they gave up next to nothing to get him. they kept all their top prospects. thank you for the belated Christmas gift Brian Cashman.

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

i got pretty much what i wanted out of the New Orleans Saints game yesterday. the Saints won 38-27. Blake Bortles threw 4 touchdowns, which helped me greatly in fantasy football. plus, i do believe it might end up being the last time Drew Brees plays as a Saint at home. so it was nice to see him go out and play like the old Drew Brees.

speaking of fantasy football, while nothing is official yet, i'm pretty damn sure i won both of my championship matches. that will end up being my 7th and 8th championships for fantasy football. i have a 27 point lead in my 5th place game going into tonight in my NFL.com league. my opponent has Denver's quarterback tonight.

the New York Rangers play tonight in Nashville. they are hopefully well rested and ready to go tonight.

i'm interested to see what happens on Monday Night Raw tonight as John Cena makes his return to the show. hopefully he gets his ass kicked again.

as you might imagine, my remote control will be getting a workout tonight flipping between hockey, wrestling and football.

i guess my uncle is back home now. they had to rush him to the hospital yesterday as he was not keeping anything down. they sent back to the nursing home last night once they got all that calmed down. it's all due to him not drinking enough fluids and since he doesn't do that, the side effects to the chemo is even greater. i think the nursing home released him just so they wouldn't have to deal with the family anymore. that being said, i won't be shocked if the phone rings sometime before 6 in the morning in the next few days with some bad news from next door.

i think i'm going to try to stretch out some and ice my back down. this rain just murders me anymore.

i hope everyone had a great weekend. hard to believe that 2015 is almost done.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Filter - Hey Man, Nice Shot
Dynamite Hack - Boyz-n-The Hood
Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band - Last Goodbye

"I always sympathized with the people who did work for hire; I was one of them." - Stan Lee

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

and the pain in your left food goes back more than 20 years

i woke up to the sounds of thunder this morning. that made me quickly know why i was in pain. but, i did get a poem out of it, so there's that. i typed it up after i took a shower this morning. i really like it. my sister made breakfast and took some to my uncle this morning. i guess his blood sugar went way down this morning and my mother had to go racing over to the nursing home with some glucose pills, which apparently the nursing home didn't have. how that is even fucking possible is beyond me. i'm sure my sister didn't think she would be dealing with this shit today. i suppose she really can't wait to pack her car and get the fuck out of here. i don't blame her.

i watched most of the NFL game last night. i had the tight end from the Eagles. if he wouldn't have had that damn fumble, i would have been very happy. i did pick the game right though. today is going to be an interesting one. i will know by late tonight if i win any fantasy football championships this season. i have a lead in both of the finals i'm in.

i'm in a bit of a pickle though. i will always root for my New Orleans Saints but today they are facing the quarterback (Blake Bortles) i have starting for both of my teams in the finals. that should tell you how god awful the Saints defense has been this season. if the Saints could win but in a crazy fucking shootout where both teams score in the 40's, i'll be thrilled.

ROH last night was a best of the year show. it was mostly highlights of matches ROH did with NJPW and the great match between Jay Lethal and Jay Briscoe. all in all, a great hour of pro wrestling.

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

nothing on the DVR tonight so i imagine i will either be watching football or catching up on shit on the DVR i haven't watched yet.

i treated myself to a gift last night. i bought a Stephane Matteau autograph picture from Steiner Sports. i've got an idea of where i'm going put it. i got these hockey pucks that are nightlights that are made to look like they were shot through the wall. i figure i will put a light on both sides of the photo, probably right above my door. i figure that would be a nice place to highlight a moment from the best game of the 1994 playoffs. and to think i got it for under $60 with shipping.

i got a couple of songs from NoiseTrade the other day. i'll put those links down in the music section.

i think a cold front is getting close to the area now. the pain in my left foot is from the scar tissue from when i broke it back in 7th grade. and that only radiates like this when a massive cold front is coming. maybe it will actually start to feel like winter soon.

i hope this finds everyone escaping the holiday blues and enjoying a soothing drink of something strong.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

John Prine - Christmas in Prison (Live)
Rufus Wainwright - Live at Coventry
Warren Haynes - Angel Band/Soulshine (Live)

"I'm one of the cliches that has grown up." - Charles Olson

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

step into the darkness and suddenly feel at home

i fell into my usual Christmas trap yesterday. while my mother and sister were next door, i was here by myself pondering all my failures and my loneliness on a day where no one is supposed to feel lonely. i did use that depression to get some shit done though. i finished reading a book of poetry that was great and watched a few things on the DVR. i watched that U2 concert from Paris they did a few weeks back. the recording cut off before it was over. so i did something i should have done a long time ago. i got a HBO GO account. i was able to watch what i missed in about 3 minutes after signing up. not sure how much i will use it, but that certainly came in handy.

i do have some poems swimming up in my head. whenever they fucking decide to come out of the water and make it onto the page, i'm more than ready.

i avoided most of the NBA games yesterday. i did get a good laugh though at LeBron catching the woman in the crowd calling him a crybaby. it's always funny when you see a white person get caught doing some stupid shit by a large black male.
http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2015/12/25/10665974/lebron-james-cavs-warriors-fan-crybaby-caught-christmas

so i got up this morning after more or less forcing myself to sleep on my right hip. i can't sleep comfortably on my left side for some fucking reason. so the 5 hours i got was more or less just block out the pain and sleep. Manchester United was playing at Stoke this morning. i knew it was going to be a tough game but LVG said it was a MUST win game. i figured he said that because he knows he's on the chopping block. so i was expecting United to come inspired and i was completely fucking wrong. they had the wind at their backs and couldn't do shit with it. 20 or so minutes in and they were down 2-0. they decided to put Rooney on at halftime and that might have worked in a different year. United more or less had one chance and of course, didn't do shit with it. this is the first time Manchester United has lost 4 games in a row in all competitions since 1961. a new manager can't get here soon enough.

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be ROH.

the World Juniors Hockey Tournament started today over in Finland. team USA takes on Canada later today. that should be interesting. hopefully the boys can come away with a medal this year.

i got some pretty cool t-shirts from my sister yesterday and some Batman and Star Wars stuff from my mother. both of them really enjoyed what i got them, so that made me happy.

i added a contact form to the right hand side of the blog yesterday. so if you'd rather email me than leave a comment, feel free.

my uncle might be getting out of the nursing home soon. he's hoping for Monday. from what i've heard, he's getting stronger but he's still not doing everything he should be doing. as you might notice, i come from a long line of stubborn fucks.

i will hopefully get to take a shower today and maybe watch some football as well. i have no clue if my mother and sister have something planned to do today or not. i think they know by now i really don't get up for family events.

i hope everyone had a great Christmas.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

The Black Crowes - Seeing Things (Live)
Lucinda Williams - Change the Locks (Live)
Trent Reznor - Hurt (Live)
My Morning Jacket - I Love You All the Time (Live)

"Sin, guilt, neurosis; they are one and the same, the fruit of the tree of knowledge." - Henry Miller

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

merry christmas

i hope all of you have a wonderful day. now enjoy the only Christmas tradition i have:

the eve of something

i was certainly hoping today was going to be a good day. but given the storms last night and my inability to ever get comfortable in my bed, i've been a cranky fuck all day long. my right hip is killing me today. i've decided not to put anything on it and just accept the pain. this is most likely a sign of impending insanity. so be it.

today was another morning where i was racing to the toilet after eating breakfast. i decided not to take any Imodium after this one, as i doubt that shit does anything good for my intestines. plus, i've made my chili for dinner tonight, so why would i want to block all the glorious shit coming from that?

WWE Tribute to the Troops last night was ok. i wasn't expecting much and that's exactly what i got. NXT was pretty good. it was nice to see Sami Zayn back in action. plus, 2016 should be the year that Chad Gable and Jason Jordan make some huge strides. they are amazing as a tag team.

today i watched The Who Live in Hyde Park. i recorded that a few weeks ago and finally decided to watch it. they are a huge influence on my musical taste and kind of how my mind works.

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

my fantasy football finals start tonight as i will have 4 players playing in the San Diego vs. Oakland game. i really hope it is a high scoring shootout as i definitely need the points to get an early jump on my opponent. i know if i end up losing both finals i will be pissy for the rest of 2015.

i'm sure there are some Christmas programs on television tonight, but i will be watching football. i'm not really big on traditions anyway. my sister has to watch Home Alone and A Christmas Story every single year. i suppose if i really loved this holiday, i would be doing something like that. i wasn't blessed with the gift my sister has. she hardly remembers any of her childhood. i can recall years by each fucking day. good times.

i hope everyone is doing good. i hope the weather is good wherever you are. it's in the upper 50's today. crazy for Christmas Eve. i guess there is supposed to be a full moon on Christmas. that should be interesting.

i will do a very short blog tomorrow. my best to you and yours. have a very happy holiday and may something you actually want be under your tree.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Grant Lee Buffalo - Fuzzy (Live)
Tom Waits - Goin' Out West (Live)
Little Simz - AGE 101: DROP X (EP)

"Every man has his price, or a guy like me couldn't exist." - Howard Hughes

and your whatever the fuck i want you to see video of the day:

what a difference a day makes

so, sometime around 3 in the morning, i finally got to sleep. and in my own bed for the first time in a couple of nights. i still can't sleep like i normally do, due to my right hip, but i did get a good 4 1/2 hours and my back wasn't killing me.

most likely, the sleep was from two victory beers. and two wins that were memorable and desperately needed.

the Dayton Flyers won their rivalry game with Miami last night in the final seconds. anytime we play that school, it's like a trip to the fucking dentist. thankfully, Kyle Davis made the shot that sent everyone home happy. Dayton wins 64-63. here's the highlights:

after the game, mom and i went to Waffle House. that's really the only sit down restaurant that's open in the town i live in after 9 pm.

when i got home, i turned on the highlights to the New York Rangers game. thankfully, they got the win last night in OT. my favorite troll came through once again. a very much needed 3-2 win that sends them into the Christmas break with something to feel good about. here are the highlights.

so i drank those 2 victory beers while watching Smackdown and helping mom with some Christmas decorations. the main event was between Ziggler, Ambrose and Owens. it was a great match and a great way to end the show.

so i thought was doing pretty good this morning. i had a little breakfast and was sitting in my massage chair, reading the newspaper. and then the stomach started to rumble. i mentioned something to my mother this morning that i hadn't had to use any Imodium the last few days. sure enough, there i was racing to the toilet with the shits. it never fails. anytime i start to feel good, something has to bring me back down.

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will WWE Tribute to the Troops. i will be watching NXT and probably some other shows on WWE Network as well.

hockey is off for the next few days, so i more or less will be watching basketball and football or catching up on the DVR for the next couple of days.

i'm not used to it being near 60 degrees on Dec. 23rd. i wouldn't mind it if it was sunny. instead it is rainy, which makes me miserable.

i guess this will be an afternoon icing my back and lounging in the massage chair. god willing, the Imodium will do its job.

i hope everyone is ready for Christmas or whatever other holiday you are celebrating. i hope everyone has a great day.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Digital Underground - The Humpty Dance
Dr. Dre & Ice Cube - Natural Born Killaz
Run The Jewels - Angel Duster

"It's an art to live with pain... mix the light into gray." - Eddie Vedder

and your whatever the fuck i want you to see video of the day:

sleep, you foreign beauty, where have you been all my life

i think i have slept more in the last 2 days than i have in the last month. amazingly, my back doesn't hurt nearly as bad as it did before. i was actually able to lay down in my bed flat on my back and do some stretching this morning. so, it looks like i will be going to the basketball game tonight.

Monday Night Raw last night was The Slammy Awards. to say that the show was mostly a waste of time would be an understatement. the only thing i liked was probably Kevin Owens getting pissed off when he didn't win Breakout Star of the year. i would say thankfully, there was something else on to watch, but the New Orleans Saints didn't help me much in that effort.

the Saints had a pathetic first half, including scoring three touchdowns in the same drive only to have them called back by penalties or replay. they fought back in the second half but anytime this season the team has had to rely on the defense, every single fan knew what was coming next. failure. the defense needed a huge stop and didn't get it. so the Saints only had a few seconds left and sure enough, since Drew Brees was trying to play through the pain in his right foot, he couldn't throw more than 20 yards or so. hard to score a touchdown when you have to go 80 in under 20 seconds. hello frustration, it's me again. Saints lose 35-27.

i did win both of my fantasy football matches from over the weekend. so this coming week i'll be playing for fifth place in one league and two championships in the other two leagues. i'm pretty sure i'm going to be the underdog in all 3.

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

tonight on the DVR will be WWE Smackdown as i believe there might be some actual wrestling on the show.

i will be at the Dayton Flyers vs. Miami Redhawks tonight. both my mother and sister graduated from Miami, so this game always means a little more in this family. tonight marks the return of Dyshawn Pierre from his suspension. i have no clue if he plays tonight or not, but he will be a welcome sight.

also tonight the New York Rangers will try to not give all of us fans a shitty Christmas by winning a game against Anaheim. the Ducks stink at the moment too, so i'm sort of happy i will be at the basketball game for most of this game.

hopefully i will be enjoying a few victory beers tonight.

i think my sister is coming down tomorrow. i thankfully was able to get most of the gifts wrapped last night. i even managed to wrap some of them in the comics instead of the obituary pages.

not sure what's going on with my uncle. i have a feeling with his blood pressure going down, that the end may be near. i figure given the way this family has gone over the years, i would not rule out a Christmas death. i think he's trying so hard to make it to that day that he's only hurting himself. as i told my mother this morning, maybe one of his daughters or his wife should have some fucking compassion and let him know it's okay to move on. but, given what i know about all of them, that won't happen. the last few months have been about themselves more than anything.

and on that lovely note, i hope everyone has a wonderful day.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Beastie Boys - Professor Booty
Butthole Surfers - Pepper
AC/DC - Play Ball

"Man thrives where angels would die of ecstasy and where pigs would die of disgust." - Kenneth Rexroth

and your whatever the fuck i want you to see video of the day:

my 5 poems at Horror Sleaze Trash

my poems "stumble over every word", "insects crawling up the leg", "until the dawn peeks through the blinds", "in a rush" and "but my enemies" have been published at Horror Sleaze Trash. you can find the poems by going here: http://www.horrorsleazetrash.com/poetry/j-j-campbell-10/

what to do when there is no more pleasure in the pain

so yesterday i realized that not only is my lower back killing me, i believe arthritis is setting up camp in both of my hips. talk about a Christmas present i didn't want. i've been icing and stretching, using ointments and god knows what else, but nothing is really working. i had to sleep in my massage chair last night as i tried to lay down in my bed and my back felt like it broke in about a thousand places. good times. i might have got 4 hours of sleep in the chair. so i guess my life here in the next few days is going to be a series of naps. and i have no fucking clue how i'm going to be able to go to the basketball game tomorrow.

i did pretty good in fantasy football yesterday. i'm up 30 points in one match and i tied in the other match. i believe the tiebreaker is total yards and if my math is correct, i should advance to the finals. of course, i won't know for sure until tomorrow. but i certainly wouldn't mind playing for two championships next week.

i'm just 5 games out of first place now in my division in fantasy hockey.

i was feeling pretty good last night when the New York Rangers were up 3-1 after the first period. but since this period of them sucking seems to have no end, the Rangers gave up 6 straight goals to lose to Washington 7-3. fucking pathetic. thankfully, i didn't watch much of the game after Washington tied it. the Sunday night shows were getting ready to start.

the season finale of Homeland was rather interesting. i was expecting action packed and it went more for the emotional drama. and the twists along the way set up what could be a very interesting 6th season.

the season finale of The Affair was holy fuck awesome. the last 15 minutes or so were mind blowing. if you have followed the series from the beginning, i'm sure you really enjoyed some questions finally getting answered. if you are new to the show, please catch up and then go back and watch season 2 again. it was easily light years better than season 1. and the last scene sets up a truly holy fuck of a season 3.

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

i will be flipping between Monday Night Football (Saints vs. Lions) and Monday Night Raw tonight.

hopefully my back will feel good enough that i can actually start to wrap some gifts tonight. if not, there is a good chance that i might just be handing my mother and sister their gifts and tell them i was trying to help the environment this year.

i hope everyone had a great weekend. at the very least, i hope it was better than mine.

i'm now hoping to go take another nap in the massage chair.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Tricky - Aftermath
DJ Shadow - Midnight In A Perfect World
The xx -

"Without deviation progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa

and your whatever the fuck i want you to see video of the day:

the most wonderful time of the year... for your back to go out

i was in the shower last night (settle down ladies) and turned to change the setting on the shower head. well, i guess i turned too fast or i'm just getting old, but i immediately felt my back give. holy fuck. my brain quickly switched into find the pleasure in the pain mode, which has come my mode of survival anymore. after i was done with the shower, like the stubborn fuck i am, i got dressed and got ready to go to the basketball game. about 20 minutes into the game, mom asked me if i was ok. i said no. i told her it was my back. now, when in public and my back is killing me, i tend to use adrenaline or alcohol to get me through. i was driving, so alcohol wasn't an option. thankfully, the Dayton Flyers provided me some adrenaline in the second half.

when Dayton was only up by 2 at halftime, i was not happy. they were playing a team (Furman) they should absolutely kill. thankfully, they exploded in the second half to win the game 70-50. they got 23 more rebounds than the opposition in the second half and only missed 3 free throws for the entire game. that is what i call lesson learned.

after the game, it was just cold enough outside that it helped cool my back down. that allowed me to drive to get some food and get back home. once home, i ate and got into my massage chair. the massage and ice helped a little. the only way i could get to sleep last night was on my stomach. i hate sleeping on my stomach. but since my right hip started barking, i had no choice. i figure today will be a mix of stretching and ice and swear words.

Saturday Night Live was pretty good last night. a few of the sketches were really fucking funny.

ROH was good last night. i think i was in so much pain that i really don't know if it was really good or not. i know i watched it all and didn't scream out in agony, so i didn't hate it.

i'm saving Austin City Limits for when i'm wrapping gifts. it's the 1979 performance from Tom Waits.

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Homeland and The Affair.

the New York Rangers play tonight against the Capitals. i'd love for the Rangers to win so i could have a nice tall glass of something strong.

sadly, that's the best medicine i have for my back.

the fantasy football playoffs start for me today on CBS Sports. i'm trailing in both games. good times.

the worm has turned for me in fantasy hockey though. i'm having my best week all season so far and i'm just about at the point where i'm cracking the top 4. i don't think anyone thought that would happen when i was 15 games out of first place 3 weeks ago.

i hope everyone had a great Saturday. i hope your Sunday is even better.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Cowboy Junkies - Lost My Driving Wheel (Live)
Oasis - Champagne Supernova
David Bowie - Modern Love

"I find myself evil. I believe in the devil as much as God. You can use either one to get things done." - Peter Criss

and your whatever the fuck i want you to see video of the day:

happy fucking holidays

i was trying to get some sleep last night when a poem popped in my head. i wrote it out and thought, ok, now i can sleep. 10 minutes later i had another poem in my head. and this one was one of my rare long ones. it was loosely based on an experience i had in a bar when i was 23 years old. of course, i made the poem much better than the experience was. i typed both of those poems up this morning and really liked them. not sure what i'm going to do with them. i figure i will figure that out in 2016.

the last 12 hours or so have been absolute shit for two sports teams i live and die with. the New York Rangers got back Derek Stepan last night but they once again played like shit, losing to Winnipeg 5-2. they next play on Sunday at home against Washington, who is now 6 points ahead of them.

this morning, Manchester United lost to a team battling relegation, 2-1. totally fucking unacceptable. how the fuck LVG keeps his job is beyond me now. he looks completely disinterested while watching the game and the players reflect that. it's obvious a few of them care, but not nearly enough to make it matter. this is one of those days i'm happy i live over here. if i was over there in Manchester, i might be tempted to do something rather evil to help the squad. from afar, all i can do is bitch and moan and hope something good happens next. they play Chelsea the day after Christmas. oh joy.

thankfully, The Knick last night was excellent. i have no clue if that was the series finale or not, but it certainly felt like it. plenty of twists and turns and story lines wrapping up. plus, the last 10 minutes or so were amazing. if it was the last show of the series, what an excellent series it was.

not sure how my uncle is doing. he's clearly not drinking as much water or fluids as he should be. the excuse is he doesn't want to to go to the bathroom and have another accident. this reminds of what i have learned over the years; pride will kill you before cancer will. i've told my mother i could go over and spell it out clearly for him and just ask him if he wants to die or not. i'm having a hard time understanding why no one gets the urgency of the matter. but, if he dies before Christmas and this family suddenly hates the holiday forever, i suppose... i'll just keep that thought to myself.

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Saturday Night Live, Austin City Limits and ROH.

the Dayton Flyers play tonight at home against Furman. i'm expecting a huge bounce back game from them after stewing for a week after the last loss at home. hopefully i am correct.

i figure we'll probably listen to the New York Jets game on the way home from the basketball game. i know mom would love for the Jets to win tonight. they play the Cowboys.

i suppose i should go eat some lunch and get the rest of the anger out of me. i never try to go into a public situation angry as hell. if those two ever collide, someone will be getting a call for bail money.

i hope everyone has a great Saturday. mine can only go up from here thankfully. of course, a Dayton loss tonight and this blog will be a hate filled shit fest tomorrow that mind end it all.

good times.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Pantera - I'm Broken
Slayer - Seasons in the Abyss
Metallica - Bleeding Me

"First, accept sadness. Realize that without losing, winning isn't so great." - Alyssa Milano

and your whatever the fuck i want you to see video of the day:

with a bit of snow flying in the air

mom had this great idea today of going to the grocery early in the afternoon. when we pulled up and she noticed there wasn't many parking spots open, i said i guess everyone else had the same thought as you. when we got into the store, she noticed all the kids and then suddenly realized that school was out for Christmas break and all the kids got dragged to the store today. i was busy noticing that since it got cold and there was some snow in the air, the ladies had their come fuck me boots on. that should bring a poem or two.

i have decided that i'm going to have fun with all these fuckers on Google+ that try to scam me. i figure my address is public. if you have the balls to come find me, then we'll have some fun. i'm sick and fucking tired of wasting my time online. the cunt today from Florida was the perfect example. she wants to come visit me on Dec. 23rd. i said you are more than welcome. i have no problem with any stranger knocking on the door. i learned a long time ago, i don't have to open it.

i've been a big fan of the NPR Tiny Desk Concert series. imagine my joy last night when i realized they put the audio from those on iTunes. needless to say i've been listening to all 11 i downloaded all day long.

The Big Bang Theory was excellent last night. i was laughing my ass off while recalling my first time. damn near 20 years ago now. fuck i feel old all of a sudden.

Life in Pieces was awesome as well. i also watched the Bear Grylls show with President Obama. i just don't understand how anyone can say climate change doesn't exist.

the New York Rangers hung tough for 50 minutes last night. unfortunately, they got their asses handed to them in the last 10 losing to Minnesota 5-2. they lost their backup goalie to an injury last night on top of things. they play tonight in Winnipeg, another tough place to play. they might be getting back some injured players tonight. they need them badly.

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be The Knick.

i am under the impression were going to be getting Christmas shit up finally tonight. i guess my sister texted my mom today and said she was coming early. i laughed and asked my mom if we were going to put up decorations or just let my sister do it and bitch us out the entire time. maybe that will get my mother going.

i did pick the NFL game right last night. thankfully, i missed most of the game between ketchup and mustard.

i will most likely be on here tomorrow after Manchester United plays in the morning tomorrow. hopefully i will be in a good mood.

i hope everyone has a great weekend. if you waited to do your shopping, enjoy the crowds.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

"I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police." - Keith Richards

and your whatever the fuck i want you to see video of the day:

no sunshine in a land of rejection and dirty clothes

my last load of laundry is in the clothes dryer. today has been a day of agony. not because of anything happening, just life itself. no sunshine at all today. my back has been tight all damn day long. and i figured why not just totally fuck myself and do my laundry as well today. mom has been gone most of the day visiting my uncle at the nursing home. being home alone reminds me of how easy it is for me to slip into the darkness. play a couple sad songs and next thing you know i'm finishing off a bottle of vodka or scotch. good times.

i did watch the USA Women's soccer game last night. they tried so damn hard to make sure Abby Wambach scored that they forgot to actually just play the game and go win. so, China won 1-0 and it was the first time the women had lost at home in over a decade. it highlighted the one thought i have had since 2001. there is no such thing as a happy ending.

the DVR cut off American Horror Story before it ended last night. thankfully i didn't have to be up all damn night to see it. what a great fucking show. and now i have to wait until January to see what happens next. fuck me.

i heard back from Hiram Poetry Review on my poetry submission back in October. they once again have decided to pass on what i sent.

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be The Big Bang Theory and Life in Pieces.

the New York Rangers play tonight in Minnesota. hopefully they can start stringing some wins together.

i am going to do my best to avoid the NFL game tonight. neither i nor my opponents have anyone playing in the game, so i have no need to watch it for fantasy football.

i am absolutely loving this new Butch Walker song:

be right back, i have clothes to fold.

now that i have that done, i suppose i can now think about taking a shower.

a big thank you to all of you that have sent Christmas cards so far. i really do appreciate it.

whenever we ever get done putting the decorations up (mom was going to start but other shit came up and lord knows she doesn't want me to do it) i'll start wrapping the gifts. i'm hoping i can find some brown paper bags for the bottles.

i hope everyone had a great day. hopefully the sun made an appearance where you live.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

David Bowie - Modern Love
Trampled by Turtles - Alone
Butch Walker - Santa'Self (Fuck Your Christmas Party)

"Nothing is more intolerable than to have to admit to yourself your own errors." - Ludwig van Beethoven

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day: