the end of a year i will certainly never forget

2015 will be remembered by me as the year my biggest obstacle to actually enjoying life finally left this earth. my father, his demons, and every little nugget of hate he poured into me finally had the chance to be erased from my brain when he died in late April. now i'm pretty sure it will take the rest of my life to un-fuck him from my brain, but at least the possibility of hope now exists. of course, i still haven't been to the graveside yet, so i'm not 100% sure that fucker is in the ground. and since the calls have stopped asking me to pay his bills, i am 100% sure that he left me absolutely nothing, if he even had a will. maybe when i turn 40 i'll have an  exorcism and see if suddenly my life will turn around. it surely wouldn't hurt anything.

i will also remember 2015 as the year i left the farm i so dearly loved to move next door to the parents of the cousin that molested me. my mother did apologize to me the other day in a peculiar kind of way for never doing anything when i told her about what happened. of course, she did it while telling me that my sister is worried i'm going to kill her one day because she didn't do anything. i wasn't sure if i should take that as a compliment that my sister thinks i'm capable or be insulted that she thinks it's even possible. i would kill myself before i would kill any of my family, except maybe for a certain person or two.

and lastly, 2015 will be remembered as the year my writing and this blog took, what i would like to believe, is a giant leap forward. while i haven't been as prolific with my writing as in previous years, i do believe my writing is better. i attribute that to doing this everyday. it not only keeps my brain active, it also flushes out other things that eventually end up in poems. feel free to use the contact form to tell me otherwise.

now, onto the crazy happenings from last night...

when the Dayton Flyers were up by over 20 points early last night, i reminded myself that there is no fucking chance it's going to be this easy. when Arkansas was leading in the second half, i figured that Dayton would come back. when Dayton forgot to foul when up by 3 points with 4 seconds left and Arkansas hit the 3 to send the game to overtime, i was pretty sure Dayton was going to fucking lose this game. when Arkansas was up by 4 in OT, i was really worried. when Dayton kept missing foul shots after somehow getting the lead back, i was hoping they wouldn't piss away another lead. thankfully, they didn't. Dayton won 85-81 in OT. that was coach Archie Miller's 100th win at the school. Dayton is now 10-2 and start the A10 schedule this Saturday at Duquesne.

so while at Waffle House after the game, and this pretty much sums up my life, we were getting ready to leave and this stunning looking woman walked in. now stunning from where i live is someone who's probably a 6 or 7 in the regular world. i kept trying to make eye contact, but it never happened. i really need to get a damn vehicle so i can actually go places by myself again. rather, i need mom to get herself a new vehicle so i can have the one she has now.

we didn't get home until after midnight. i turned on the NHL Network to check out the New York Rangers highlights. much to my surprise, they beat Tampa last night 5-2. i was really, REALLY happy about that.

sick hands from Dom on that winning goal from last night.

i woke up this morning in plenty of time to catch team USA beat Denmark 4-1 in the World Juniors over in Finland. the New York Rangers goalie prospect Brandon Halverson started the game and was really solid in net. the boys finished in second place in the group. they will play the Czech Republic on Jan. 2nd. they have to win that game to advance to have the chance to bring home a medal.

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

the rest of today is going to be about football and drinking. i have a few victory beers to catch up on and the college football playoff is today. i have no clue who is going to win the national championship this year. since Ohio State isn't playing for it, i really don't care.

tomorrow is going to be a busy one as well. Ohio State plays Notre Dame in the Fiesta Bowl.

the Winter Classic is also tomorrow, as the Boston Bruins take on the Montreal Canadiens outdoors in Boston. i always try to catch some of that.

so i imagine i'll be on here sometime tomorrow, maybe in the early evening. i always try to do some writing as well on the first day of a new year. of course, that usually happens in the early morning hours while drunk, so i might have an update for you by waiting to the evening to blog.

i hope everyone has a great night. if you have already celebrated 2016 coming in, i hope you are safe and happy. if you are planning on going out tonight to party, be safe, call if you need bail money. and if you are like me and have no one to celebrate the ball dropping with a kiss, grab a bottle of lotion and remember the time you were in a car in a public park at 6 in the morning with one of the most beautiful women that would ever talk back to you. that has worked for me for the last 18 years.

most of all, enjoy another year gone. soon we'll all be dead. might as well live it up while we're here.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music: (my top 5 songs of the year)

The Struts - Could Have Been Me
Lucero - I Woke Up In New Orleans
Thunderbitch - Closer
Dawes - All Your Favorite Bands
Lana Del Rey - High By the Beach

"Creativity takes courage." - Henri Matisse

and your whatever the fuck i want you to see video of the day: