hello darkness, my old friend...

this is a blog i never wanted to write. a blog that i never truly wanted to need to write. but, everything dies. everything runs its course. i was foolish to believe my friendship with Debbie Kirk was going to be one of those that defied any of these things. and i must say, she certainly blew it up in a way that reminded me of the old Debbie Kirk. so, let's get into the shit. Debbie got some news yesterday that i really don't know is true or not, but let's just go with the premise that it is. she was going to have to leave the room she was in by Monday because a social worker or hospital worker or whatever told the powers that be that Debbie is homeless. so, she wanted help. i offered a few ideas, which of course didn't satisfy her need. she then said she needed the rest of the money from Gofundme. i said i wouldn't be able to wire it from my bank until July 2nd. that didn't work for her either and then she got this narrative into her head that i was stealing from her. ask anyone that knows me. i am a pretty loyal motherfucker and i will swallow way more pride than i should at times. but, i don't fucking steal from my friends. she then continued down this road saying she was talking to a friend and they were going to get the sheriffs involved if i didn't send the money via Western Union and do it now. that's a little bit of a threat that i decided was the final bit of the bridge between us in beautiful fucking flames. so, i tried online and i couldn't get that to work. she bitched and moaned and kept up the bullshit about fraud now. i then got offline with her and said, i'm getting this shit done tonight and this is the end of this shit. so, when i got to the third fucking place i went to to try to get this done, it was the same fucking place i was 10 hours earlier, the grocery store. sure enough, i ran into a woman i went to high school with. damn Monica, you still look good. i told the guy how much i needed to wire and once he took my info and i found my ATM card, the money was sent. as i drove home, i had the taste of blood on my lips. the Irish temper was slowly rising to a fucking boil. i decided i was going to give her the information over the phone. i rarely call Debbie as those conversations turn into hours of someone fucking rambling about god knows what. plus, doing it over the phone, she never could accuse of me being a pussy about this. and it would devastate her even more. plus, i correctly figured it was the only call she had had all day long. i gave her the info she needed to get the money and then i dropped the bomb. you made the same mistake my father made. accuse me of a crime i didn't commit. you are officially fucking dead to me. i hung up and decided i could finally eat dinner, a dinner i wanted to eat about 75 minutes earlier. so, like the cunt this dead former friend truly is, she goes on Facebook and decides to write about the crimes i committed and how cancer brings clarity. (she didn't know that my mother has a Facebook account) what really made me laugh was i am somehow a 500 pound Christian shut in that writes like i'm Casanova. and her old crutch, i have no life experience. and she's right, i never have lived on the streets. i never have had to suck dick to get a meal. i never had to be a whore to have anyone love me. i never had an ex lover choose meth over me. i never ran with the cool kids so i could feel whole inside. sadly, i only have the experience of being sexually abused as a child. to first thinking about suicide when i was 8 years old. to realizing my parents never did anything when i gave them the news of my sexual abuse 9 years later. to nearly dying in a car accident. to nearly dying from blood clots. to having my stepfather die while i was holding his hands. having a best friend at the time go to Portland without me after we had planned our escape to the west coast our entire senior year of high school. no, no fucking life experience at all because any of my experiences couldn't fit Debbie's definitions of what a real bad ass does. the same bad ass that would cry herself to sleep each night because the world had fucked her over once again. and sure Debbie, you're the martyr, because god knows no one else had shitty parents. no one else on earth had been abused by them and foster parents and god knows who else. no one else had been raped repeatedly and got trapped in a cycle of abuse. no one else has ever abused drugs right. you're the fucking best at it. therefore, you deserve to be treated as such. and she can try to trick the world into thinking that she is a saint and is so heartbroken that our friendship is done. BULLSHIT. this was the conclusion she always wanted because she needs to be the victim. she needs to feel like everything is against her so when she pulls through on the other side, look at me. aren't you proud of me? no. i was proud when you were a functioning adult. i was proud when you were one of the best female poets i have ever known. i also loved how Nerve Cowboy would never publish you. so, now in my mind, it's how do i want to think of my dead former friend. and after sleeping on it, it's pretty simple. i don't want to. that cunt has been shit out of my mind, out of my soul, and is gone forever now. so in the end, thanks for the life experience. cancer will kill you, eventually. sadly, it will because you will allow it to. and i couldn't give two shits if you prove me wrong. try something novel and prove it to yourself for a change. mostly because, yourself is all you have left. i was the last fucking bridge you had left. it's amazing what the world looks like after the smoke clears.

music:

Distubed - The Sound of Silence
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Push the Sky Away
Johnny Cash - Hurt
Nine Inch Nails - She's Gone Away

this blog will return to its normal programming later on this afternoon.

i suppose the world wants to think i will actually care...

so, i have been incredibly busy today and i'm doing it all on 3 1/2 hours of sleep. so my best friend, while in the waiting room of her oncologist, decided that's the perfect time to start an argument with me. and apparently, since i said i don't have time for your need to throw a fit, that was all Debbie needed to block me from contacting her. on the day i wire her $200 from the money raised on Gofundme. and i'm the asshole for wondering why my best friend neglects her mental health. and i'm the asshole for helping her find the people in Colorado willing to help her. but don't worry, i guarantee she will tell everyone she did everything on her own. that's fine. i'm not sure when the world will finally understand. i am incapable of feeling any empathy for anyone that decides to burn their fucking bridges with me. so, i do hope she beats cancer. i do hope she gets the help she needs. i do hope she finds housing before she's homeless at the end of the month. it's one thing to be d.i.y. all your life, it's another to be so stubborn that you become a fucking $#@%. i will allow everyone to use their imagination on what word goes there.

imagine that, she just unblocked me.

the New York Yankees scored 4 runs yesterday in the first inning and decided that was enough for the game. thankfully, the bullpen agreed, for the most part. the Yankees got the sweep of Seattle with a 4-3 win. they now start a series tonight in that dump down in Tampa.

Vice News Tonight had another great week of shows.

Lip Sync Battle was really good last night.

i was happy i watched the entire NBA Draft last night. the Dayton curse is finally over.

now, while the Sacramento Kings didn't select who i wanted, it's not like they didn't select a player that should really help them. if he's the missing piece, i will gladly tell the world i was wrong.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be VICE, NJPW, Major League Wrestling and Real Time with Bill Maher. i will probably be watching the 1st round of the NHL Draft for most of the night. the New York Rangers have 3 first round picks and they can't fuck this night up if they want to have a quick rebuild.

i was really hoping to listen to the new Nine Inch Nails album i bought on iTunes today. but, when the songs downloaded last night, the only one that had any sound was the first single they put out weeks ago. that will be the last time i pre-order anything i guess. they still haven't got in touch with me to correct the problem.

the grocery store was fucking crazy today. it was a somewhat rainy, somewhat humid as fuck day today. it was warm enough that some of the black women shopping today were in extremely skimpy clothes. i certainly didn't mind, but i did enjoy the look of disdain from all the old white women shopping. i wanted to get some fresh fish, but i didn't want to wait in a line that was about 10 to 12 people deep. and by the time i went, most of the good shit was gone. joy.

here's what has happened in the World Cup since the last blog. France defeated Peru 1-0. Croatia destroyed Argentina 3-0. Brazil scored late to defeat Costa Rica 2-0. Nigeria defeated Iceland 2-0. Switzerland came from behind to beat Serbia 2-1. tomorrow, Belgium takes on Tunisia. South Korea plays Mexico and Germany takes on Sweden.

i will probably be on here sometime in the morning tomorrow.

i hope everyone has a great weekend. i hope everyone has more patience than i do. i hope the alcohol flows freely for you this weekend.

dos cervezas para las damas de la izquierda y tres disparos para las prostitutas de la derecha

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Amos Lee - Vaporize
Hayes Carll - I Don't Wanna Grow Up
Leonard Cohen - Light as the Breeze
The Dollyrots - Because I'm Awesome (Live)

"If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you." - Billy Wilder

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

and here comes the rain to ruin another day...

i'm the only asshole i know that can get 11 poems published in a day and complain about it. the rain that is coming down is truly fucking with me at the moment. these are the days i need that young kid Bukowski talked about to do this shit.

a little World  Cup update:
i watched most of Denmark and Australia this morning. it ended in a 1-1 draw. right now France is leading Peru 1-0 in the 82nd minute. Argentina and Croatia play later today.

the New York Yankees were down 5-0 to Seattle last night and i was not happy. but, the sign of a great team is their ability to never quit. and that is exactly what the Yankees did last night. they chipped away and eventually Gary Sanchez tied the game at 5 in the 8th with a huge two run homer. in the bottom of the 9th, Giancarlo Stanton had his first signature Yankee moment. the Yankees won 7-5. they will go for the sweep this afternoon.

Lucha Underground was really good last night.

NXT was pretty good last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight and Lip Sync Battle.

i will probably spend most of tonight watching the NBA Draft. there is the outside chance someone from Dayton might get taken in the second round. Dayton hasn't had anyone selected in the draft in 28 years.

at some point today, i will listen to the latest Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast. you can find that by going here: https://soundcloud.com/srwrestling/srw-191-jeff-jarrett-pt-2

my friend Debbie Kirk is getting much closer to having surgery, chemo, etc. she really could use anything you can possibly give to support her. below is the link to go to. please spread it around.
https://www.gofundme.com/5m0wfqg

if my pain allows, at some point today i need to go to the drugstore and probably our local grocery store as well. and there really isn't anything better than seeing me in public when i am hurting. it's like a pissed off dog roaming the aisles begging for someone to make the mistake.

thanks to everyone for the compliments regarding the poems today. i really do appreciate them more than i will probably ever let on.

i have no clue when i'll be on here tomorrow. i know i need to go grocery shopping at the big store tomorrow, but that won't happen until my pills are ready. hopefully this oppressive heat will finally be gone.

that's all for me kids.

¿Quién necesita la lluvia el primer día de verano?

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Two Feet - I Feel Like I'm Drowning
Our Lady Peace - Superman's Dead
Tina Turner - I Can't Stand The Rain
Lana Del Rey - Love

"When rich people fight wars with one another, poor people are the ones to die." - Jean-Paul Sartre

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

one of those days...

just enough rain in the area today that it feels like there's a 40 lb. gorilla trying to escape through my joints. it's one of those things that i have grown to handle (i'm laughing as i typed that) but it truly just grinds my production to a fucking halt. but, the show must go on.

a little poetry news before we get the shit show rolling...

i heard back from Nerve Cowboy on my poetry submission from January. they decided to pass on what i sent. i read the poems again and really liked them. so, i guess i'll go back to the drawing board and roll the dice again. these 5 poems will get published somewhere.

the New York Yankees lost the suspended game yesterday against the Nationals (5-3) and won the second game 4-2. they start a series tonight at home against Seattle.

Monday Night Raw was very good last night.

i woke up this morning to see Japan was up 1-0 on Colombia and Colombia was playing with 10 men. i guess that's what i get for tuning in 20 minutes late to a World Cup game. Japan ended up winning the game 2-1. Senegal upset Poland 2-1. and Russia blitzed Egypt in the second half to win the game 3-1. tomorrow Portugal plays Morocco, Uruguay takes on Saudi Arabia and Iran plays Spain.

It Will Be Chaos was very interesting to watch last night. it's one of those documentaries i wish everyone would watch.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight, Smackdown, The Jim Jefferies Show and Deadliest Catch. i'll watch 205 Live sometime tonight on WWE Network.

i think tomorrow is supposed to be stormy as well, so i have no damn clue when i'll be on here. i know i still have the trash to pickup here and next door, and i guess i should get that done before i get caught out in a thunderstorm.

that's all for me kids...

remember to keep donating to help Debbie Kirk beat breast cancer. below is the link:
https://www.gofundme.com/5m0wfqg

loco es el último camino al infierno

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

The Black Angels - Half Believing
Interpol - NYC
Satchel - Suffering
Fine Young Cannibals - I'm Not The Man I Used to Be

"Originality is dangerous." - Salman Rushdie

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

it's getting hot and humid, must be the short temper season...

i think Spain vs. Portugal was one of the more entertaining World Cup games i have ever watched. 3-3 didn't hurt either. of course, CR7 saved Portugal, getting his 3rd goal late. the other games today both had very late goals. Uruguay fucked around and allowed Egypt to stay close all game until they got a goal to win it late. Iran got an own goal from Morocco very late to win that game 1-0. those are the kind of goals that get people killed, think 1994 and Colombia. the games tomorrow are France vs. Australia, Argentina vs. Iceland, Peru vs. Denmark and Croatia vs. Nigeria.

i believe Debbie Kirk got some good news regarding her cancer today. i will let her share that with the world here: https://www.gofundme.com/5m0wfqg

the New York Yankees won last night, 4-3 over Tampa. Gleyber Torres to the rescue once again. the kid is fucking amazing. the Yankees are calling up a kid from AA to make his major league debut tonight. that should be interesting.

Lip Sync Battle was good last night.

i submitted my poetry chapbook to Analog Submission Press today. i have a good feeling about it, but i don't want to feel really good until it (hopefully) gets accepted to be published. it's hard to believe i haven't done any kind of book in 2 years.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be VICE, NJPW, Major League Wrestling, Real Time with Bill Maher and the season finale of Wyatt Cenac's Problem Areas.

my sister is down here for part of the weekend. mom turns 65 tomorrow. she doesn't want a party or anything, and the weather is going to be hotter than fuck tomorrow. so, it might just be sitting around in the air conditioning enjoying some birthday cake.

i will probably be on here in the morning tomorrow. if i happen to be awake when France is playing at 6 in the morning, there just might be a damn blog coming out around that time as well.

i did find out today that i need to take the Highlander in on Monday morning to have it fixed. i believe they are giving us a Rav4 to drive while the Highlander is in the shop. i know mom is thinking about getting a new vehicle. i can't imagine why. she's only had the Highlander for almost 17 years.

between the World Cup and baseball and the amount of professional wrestling this weekend, i'm going to be a busy boy.

i hope everyone has a great weekend. if it's going to be hot where you are, remember the joys of alcohol and heat.

enamorarse de una mujer a mi edad es una tortura

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Ani DiFranco - When Doves Cry (Live)
The Afghan Whigs - Let Me Lie to You
David Bowie - Modern Love
Portugal. The Man - Purple, Yellow, Red and Blue

"I may be crazy, but it keeps me from going insane." - Waylon Jennings

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

with the last thread of patience i have...

one of the joys of being a loner is truly not having to deal with certain amounts of shit that arise during adult life. today would be the perfect example. for the few friends i do have, i will go to unreal lengths to help them if i fucking can. now, with a certain special someone, that kind of help is determined from their end to be an accusation that they haven't been trying their best. i have swallowed so much fucking pride in my life, i'm choking to death on it. i remember something i heard when i was little. something to the effect that some people are determined to burn every fucking bridge in their life they can. it's fucking tragic at times, but i'm just stubborn and cynical enough to not give a shit. and it's the moments the Irish temper deep within starts to rage and i deeply understand how evil i really can be. and i don't think many people know, or even give a shit, how hard it has been to control that fucking demon for 42 years. i really hope Debbie Kirk gets good news tomorrow. regardless, i know somehow, i did something wrong along the way and i should feel bad for it. the joys of being an asshole is you are simply incapable of those moments any longer. i care, but never press your luck.
https://www.gofundme.com/5m0wfqg

the New York Yankees got some strong pitching last night and just enough offense to win, 3-0 over Washington. they will go for the sweep tonight.

Smackdown was really good last night.

205 Live was excellent last night.

Deadliest Catch was good last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight and Lucha Underground. i'll watch NXT sometime tonight on WWE Network.

hard to believe the World Cup starts tomorrow. i was happy that the USA, Canada and Mexico won the bid for the 2026 World Cup. of course, i don't like my chances of being alive to actually watch it.

i got some great FREE music on NoiseTrade this afternoon. the link is below:
T. Hardy Morris - Dude, The Obscure Singles Pack

i will probably do some poetry work the next few days while the soccer games are on. in a perfect world, i'll have the new chapbook in the format correctly by the time the cover art arrives. in reality, well, we'll see.

i will probably be on here in the afternoon after the first game of the World Cup, Russia vs. Saudi Arabia.

that's all for me kids. it's raining and the adrenaline only lasts so long these days.

no tengo miedo de morir solo

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

music:

Disturbed - Down with the Sickness
Marilyn Manson - I Don't Like the Drugs (But the Drugs Like Me)
Pantera - Walk
Slayer - Seasons in the Abyss

"The innocent and the beautiful have no enemy but time." - William Butler Yeats

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

apparently, i expect too much from humanity...

the last 12 hours of my life have been a fucking drain on me... physically, emotionally, etc. add in alcohol, 2 stubborn souls and there is bound to be tears, expletives and the ending of a friendship or two. as one of the poems i wrote today started off... never have a best friend fighting cancer and mental illness at the same time. it's exhausting.

i'm not real sure where the friendship between Debbie Kirk and i stands at the moment. apparently, i'm a bad human for not being an enabler, for calling people on their bullshit and expecting someone fighting cancer to actually appear to be fighting. and while i do understand the horrors of withdrawal, of the horrific things cancer does to the body, i also witnessed a man 10 years older than Debbie take a 3 month death sentence and turn it into 2 1/2 more years of life. and while i'm not naive enough to believe everyone should have the battle my stepfather had in them, it certainly would help. and 9 times out 10, i have no clue which Debbie i'm talking to. and quite frankly, i have enough shit on my plate to be a punching bag for someone else. so, i'm taking the quiet approach for now. i will certainly listen but i do understand quite clearly that my methods and suggestions for help aren't, so there's no need to continue that. if you would like to donate to Debbie's fund to help her battle with breast cancer, you can do so here: https://www.gofundme.com/5m0wfqg

my mother's doctor's appointment went forever today. mom forgot she had paperwork to fill out since she's on Medicare now. plus, the girl working the front desk was learning on the job. it was her first day. so, let's just say an appointment at 2:30 quickly became closer to 3:30 by the time it was all said and done.

but, i did write 16 poems while in the waiting room. i will type those up during wrestling tonight.

we had a very late lunch after mom's appointment. the waitress we had today was drop dead fucking gorgeous. sadly, math was not a strong point for her. neither was an attention for detail. but, she had the kind of eyes that would make you kill for her. there will be poems.

it's also been raining on and off all day long. arthritis is quickly becoming the reason why i will have a bad drug addiction in my late 40's.

the New York Yankees lost last night to the shitty Mets, 2-0. just one of those nights where one mistake and an offense that doesn't show up, and it's a loss. oh well. the Yankees are off tonight and start a series with Washington tomorrow night at home.

the season finale of Billions was brilliant last night. i can't wait to see what happens in season 4.

I'm Dying Up Here was very good last night.

Westworld was fucking great, as usual last night.

Succession was good last night.

Last Week Tonight was hilarious as usual.

Drop the Mic was pretty good last night.

Total Bellas was pretty good as well last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight. i'll be watching Monday Night Raw for most of the evening.

mom's mechanic called and told her not to have me bring in the car tomorrow morning, like we were supposed to. he couldn't line up a SUV for the rental while our Highlander is in the shop. they think something is wrong with the electrical for the passenger side brake lights. so, i won't have to be up early tomorrow. not like i'm going to actually get to sleep in.

happy birthday to the biggest crush i ever had in my life. i hope you are still alive and well. she stopped responding to my emails 2 years ago.

i'll be on here sometime tomorrow. i might get some poems out in the morning, who knows.

i hope everyone had a great weekend.

nunca intentes estar más loco que otra persona loca

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Tom Waits - House Where Nobody Lives
Leonard Cohen - Famous Blue Raincoat
Ryan Bingham - Until I'm One with You
Valerie June - Somebody To Love

"Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them." - Richard Strauss

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

what a long ass day...

between phone calls, poems to type, arthritis flaring like a motherfucker, lunch, a car with the air conditioning fucking up while you can't roll the windows down because your mother has allergies, to whatever the fuck else... just a long ass day...

first, an update on my friend Debbie Kirk. she had her first appointment today. she really likes where she is going to get treated at. that's good, since i encouraged her to go there. plus, she's a little scared but feels like the staff is truly looking out for her and wants to help. i've told her repeatedly to find the positive and hold on to it. it will help so much during cancer treatments. i'm going to be in charge of the gofundme account now i guess, which i told Debbie i would gladly do so she didn't have to worry about anything other than beating cancer. and don't worry, any money donated is going to go directly to Debbie. please donate anything you can by going here: https://www.gofundme.com/5m0wfqg

i wrote 15 poems while mom was in physical therapy this afternoon. this was her last session as her therapist said there's no reason for mom to come to her last two if her allergies are going to be this bad in the summer. i typed up the poems after we got home from lunch. i really like a few of them.

mom's former employer is forcing her to go to a different doctor to get tested once again because they basically refuse to believe that she is disabled and unable to work. this is more or less because of how much money she was making at the end of her stay at the hospital and they only want to put out that kind of money if they are getting something out of it. fucking greedy assholes. so, mom had to move her injection in her back to a later date so she can jump through their fucking hoops once again.

the New York Yankees won last night over Toronto, 3-0 in 13 innings. i watched nearly the whole fucking game. if they would have lost that, i would have been beyond pissed. thankfully, they didn't. they are off tonight and start a series with the New York Mets tomorrow night.

NXT was excellent last night.

here are your highlights from Game 3 of the NBA Finals last night:

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight.

Game 5 of the Stanley Cup final is going on right now. god, i hope Washington doesn't fucking win tonight. i'll watch most of the game after i get this fucker done and finally eat dinner.

i did listen to the latest Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast today. you can find that by going here:
http://notsam.com/wrestlingpodcast/2018/6/7/wrestling-podcast-189-conrad-thompson

we're supposed to get some rain tonight, at least that is what my fucking hands have been telling me for the last few hours. joy.

i will probably be on here tomorrow after a trip to the grocery store.

that's all for me kids.

ellos nunca pueden hacer suficiente alcohol

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Prince - Mary Don't You Weep
Prince - Nothing Compares 2 U
Prince - Let's Go Crazy
Prince - I Would Die 4 U
Prince - Purple Rain

"There's a dark side to everything." - Prince

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

does anyone actually want to live longer than the warranty...

when you see the songs at the end of this blog, you will know what the last 18 hours of my life has been. i'm happy with the selection my mother has made for the new windows. i was pretty happy with the discounts she got, especially the one for being retired. that was something the company from last night wasn't offering. she was hoping for a longer warranty, but i asked her why? you plan on living to 90 or so when everyone else in this family is 70 to 80 and then hits the bricks? as usual, good point by me. and as i told her, it's her money, $3,000 more to get what you want is nothing. of course, to me that's a mountain of cash i haven't seen in years. thankfully, the nightmare of listening to salesmen is over for now.

the New York Yankees won last night 7-2 over Toronto. hopefully they will get the sweep of the 2 game series with a victory tonight. i didn't see much of the game as the window guy here last night didn't leave until the game was already in the 7th inning.

Smackdown was really good last night.

205 Live was excellent last night.

Deadliest Catch was very good last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight. i'll watch NXT sometime tonight on WWE Network.

Game 3 of the NBA Finals is tonight. i will probably watch some of the game. hopefully, it will be a close one.

i really like what Manchester United did today:

i'll be on here tomorrow after i take mom to her physical therapy session.

a quick update on Debbie Kirk. she has made it to Denver and is settling in. her first appointment is tomorrow. she told me this morning why the fuck did she think she could do this alone. i laughed and told her maybe her ego was stronger than she ever realized. she will need any support you can give at this time. here is a link to her gofundme page. anything is very appreciated.
https://www.gofundme.com/5m0wfqg

that's all for me kids. until tomorrow...

nunca confíes en un vendedor que usa una mochila para sus trámites

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Van Morrison - Cleaning Windows
Guided by Voices - Dig Through My Window
Melissa Etheridge - Come to My Window
John Prine - Storm Windows (Live)

"War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace." - Thomas Mann

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

you can't remember what a good day is anymore...

my fog of depression and pain lifted for a few hours yesterday. i was able to get my laundry done, so that's a plus. but, when you spend most of the day watching golf and tennis hoping to take a nice long nap and that doesn't happen... what the fuck. thankfully, most of the Sunday night shows kept me interested.

the New York Yankees play a doubleheader today in Detroit, they have a game in the afternoon and another this evening. hopefully, they can win both games. honestly, i'm just hoping they don't have to deal with anymore fucking games postponed due to rain.

here are your highlights from Game 2 of the NBA Finals last night:

Billions was excellent last night. the season finale next week looks like it will be amazing.

I'm Dying Up Here was great last night. it was probably the best show of the season so far.

Westworld was amazing last night. best show on television right now.

Succession was very good last night. i think i will enjoy this series.

Last Week Tonight was hilarious as usual.

Total Bellas was good last night.

Drop the Mic was really good last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight. i'll be watching Monday Night Raw for most of the evening.

Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Final is tonight. i will probably check out some of that at some point tonight.

safe travels to my friend Debbie Kirk as she makes her way to Denver to have surgery and begin her treatments for breast cancer. if you would like to donate to help her cover the costs, please go to:
https://www.gofundme.com/5m0wfqg help spread the word and tell everyone you know.

i will probably be on here tomorrow after i take mom to her appointment with her back doctor. i get the feeling she's going to need some more injections for her spinal stenosis.

i hope everyone had a great weekend.

a veces, tú eres el parabrisas. a veces, eres la mosca

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Don Babylon - Ow, My Tiny Heart

Nightwish - Ghost Love Score (Live)

Grateful Dead - Morning Dew (Live)

"Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you." - Robert Fulghum

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

my hatred for life will only grow from here...

today was maybe one of the greatest examples of why i hate humans and why i hate technology. now, add those 2 together and you can just imagine the fuck ups that could happen. we were in the grocery store line for probably 20 fucking minutes longer than was needed as mom noticed that the cash register didn't print out the right price for the two liters we got. we bought 4 and they were supposed to be 88 cents each, if you bought 4. they weren't ringing up that way. the cashier called over another cashier, who walked back to make sure we weren't lying about the promotion. that pissed me the fuck off. mind you, this was near 4 in the afternoon and we got to the store before 2 in the afternoon. i made the mistake of not eating lunch before i went to the grocery store. so, the second cashier then went and got a manager. now, the manager simply rung all 4 things up and coded them correctly, so the right price would show up. and then my mom turns around and pays with a fucking check. insert shotgun, say goodbye to the world. i was probably a good 20 miles over the speed limit the entire way home. that included when i was driving by the police cruiser. good thing it was the first of the month. no need to meet their quota just yet. and if a cop ever tells you that's a lie, trust me, that's a secret they don't want the general public to know. good thing i shaved and showered today. who wants to stink while being pissed off.

the New York Yankees were rained out last night in Baltimore. that game will be made up as a doubleheader in July. hopefully, they will get the game tonight in.

Vice News Tonight had yet another great week of shows.

here are your highlights from Game 1 of the NBA Finals last night. i still don't know what the fuck J.R. Smith was thinking at the end of regulation.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be VICE, NJPW, Major League Wrestling, Real Time with Bill Maher and Wyatt Cenac's Problem Areas.

i will probably be on here tomorrow in the morning as tomorrow will have plenty of things i want to watch in the afternoon.

i hope everyone has a great weekend.

a big thank you to everyone who has given to Debbie Kirk's fight against breast cancer. if you would like to donate, please go here: https://www.gofundme.com/5m0wfqg

also, a big thank you to everyone for the very kind comments on the poems published this morning at Synchronized Chaos. i really do appreciate them.

that's all for me kids. i have lost time to go make up.

Primero pensé en el suicidio cuando tenía 8 años. No he tenido una buena idea desde entonces.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

John Coltrane - Summertime
Ray Charles - Let's Go Get Stoned (Live)
Charlie Parker - Summertime
Beth Orton & The Chemical Brothers - I Never Asked to Be Your Mountain
Nikka Costa - Nothing Compares 2 U

"Fear is stupid. So are regrets." - Marilyn Monroe

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

of course, it had to start raining...

before i get to the arthritis in my knee going nuts as i was biting into a sandwich, a little serious note i need to pass along.

on the right hand side of the blog, you may have noticed the picture i put up that is a direct link to Debbie Kirk's fundraising campaign on GoFundMe. this is to get her some money for her fight against breast cancer. i urge everyone to check it out, donate if you can, and pass it along to everyone you know. many thanks for all of you that do this. here is a link to the fundraiser:
https://www.gofundme.com/5m0wfqg

after mom and i got the car back from the mechanic, we went out lunch. just as i was biting into my bacon cheeseburger at Red Robin, my left knee started throbbing. 2 minutes later, the televisions went out and i knew exactly what was coming. it started to really fucking pour. that exact moment, i should have gone to the bar and got a shot or something. thankfully, the rain didn't last long, but the fucking drizzle did. we had to go to the grocery store after that. mom had pills to pick up (9 prescriptions) and we were out of sweetener for the morning coffee. that was all done pretty quickly. thankfully, the drizzle had stopped on our way home. of course, it's supposed to rain more tonight.

the New York Yankees won last night, 6-5 in 10 innings over Houston. the Yankees had no business winning the game as they had 5 fucking errors in the game. but, i'll gladly take it. the Yankees can win the series as it concludes tonight.

Smackdown was pretty good last night.

205 Live was excellent last night.

Deadliest Catch was good last night.

The Jim Jefferies Show was hilarious last night.

the season finale (and hopefully not the series finale) of The Chris Gethard Show was excellent last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight and Being Serena. i'll watch NXT sometime tonight on WWE Network.

Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final is tonight. i'm rooting for Las Vegas in this series. hopefully they will go up 2-0 tonight on Washington.

i will be on here tomorrow after i get home from taking mom to her physical therapy appointment. hopefully, i will have some end of the month poems to type up.

that's all for me kids.

con el sonido del trueno apagado en la distancia

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

The Revivalists - Wish I Knew You
Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta
Bush - Comedown
Kings of Leon - Use Somebody

"A story never looks as good as when the other fellow buys it." - Irving Thalberg

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

and then cancer comes in the room and bums everyone out...

i have a sign in my room that says i get my cardio by running from adult responsibilities. today might be the day i run for a few miles. my best friend sent me a message this morning i never wanted to hear from her. the mass in her left breast is cancer and they need to remove the whole breast. we got into a little argument last week when i brought up this possibility. now that it is actually here, i know my tough love approach won't work. this is when i need to be the compassionate listener. now, that's something i do well, but when a person just a few years older than myself is facing this, i know all my listening will turn into me facing my own mortality. i joke all the time i do all i do for my mother so i get to stay in the will. she said something about it yesterday and i quickly snapped back with the unfortunate reality we all know... none of this will do me any good if i die first. that brings up a topic in most of my poems, the race to death. i have to call my best friend later this afternoon. i figured i would get the blog done before that fucking cry fest begins. she's one of the few humans on the planet that tells me she loves me and actually means it. it figures she'd have cancer. god hates me.

the New York Yankees got down 3-0 last night at the Nationals. they clawed their way back to get it to 3-3 and then the fucking rain came. and it never stopped. so the game was suspended until 5 PM tonight. they will try to finish the game from yesterday and then play the game they had scheduled for tonight. of course, it's supposed to rain tonight in D.C. so who the fuck knows if they will even get to play at all.

i was pleasantly surprised last night when the Sacramento Kings got the #2 pick in the NBA Draft Lottery. of course, i immediately wondered how they will fuck this up. hopefully, that doesn't happen.

Smackdown was pretty good last night.

205 Live was really good last night.

The Voice was good last night. i had 3 of the 4 finalists i chose correct. and seeing that the only one i had wrong was the one i had fifth, i'm really fine with the Final 4. i would love to see Kyla or Spensha win, but my gut says Britton will win this.

Deadliest Catch was really good last night.

The Chris Gethard Show was fucking great last night.

The Jim Jefferies Show was hilarious last night.

here are your highlights from the NHL and NBA playoffs last night:

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight and Being Serena. i will watch NXT sometime tonight on WWE Network.

i will probably watch some of the NHL and NBA playoffs tonight as well.

i'm getting ready to watch some of the Europa League Final to take my mind off things for a bit.

plus, there is rain in the area, so my arthritis is raging at the moment. joy.

i have no idea if mom is going to her physical therapy appointment tomorrow or not. she's still coughing her head off at the moment. if she does, i'll be on here tomorrow after that. if she doesn't, i might have a little writing session and then i'll be on here. i can't imagine what would be on my mind to write about.

that's all for me today kids.

el cáncer nunca puede quitar mi amor por ti

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Warren Haynes - Angel Band/Soulshine (Live)
Levon Helm - Wide River to Cross
John Prine - Paradise (Live)

"A thinking woman sleeps with monsters." - Adrienne Rich

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day: