the end of the month already

i never wanted to believe them when i was a child. but, time does really fucking fly as you get older.

not much on the plate today. a few household chores, feed the animals and get working on some poems to send out in June. got a few places in mind. and, i'm still waiting to hear back from about a dozen places. hopefully the creative streak can continue.

hoping it does rain as the forecast calls for tonight. we're 2 inches below where we need to be at this point. and i doubt there's much chance of catching up as the summer quickly approaches. but every little drop helps.

back to the old reliables for music today. these songs and i have started many creative fires over the years.

Ryan Bingham & The Dead Horses - Junky Star
Cocorosie - The Adventures of Ghosthorse and Stillborn
TV on the Radio - Nine Types of Light
Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals - Live from Mars

and now, a goodbye quote

"Nothing recedes like progress." - e.e. cummings

the after midnight and i'm drinking sports report

well, the Yankees tried. they tried and tried to blow another fucking game to the Angels. blew a 4 run lead and tried to give the game away in the 9th. but, somehow, Trumbo flies out on a hanging slider and the Yankees win 6-5. makes the west coast swing a little better.

team USA lost to Brazil 4-1. the score doesn't tell the whole story. the u.s. had chance after chance in the second half after being bitch smacked in the first half. still, only down 2-1 at half. too many chances unfinished and Brazil doesn't need many chances to score. the game was more competitive than i thought it would be but the boys have miles to go before hanging with the big boys on a consistent level.

did tune into the hockey game in time to watch Fatso and the devils lose in overtime. almost brought a smile to my face. but the Rangers aren't in it, so i couldn't give more than two shits about it.

did catch a good bit of the heat and celtics tonight. when the fuck did Rondo learn how to shoot. the celtics fucked up by wasting that effort from him. i doubt he'll be able to hit that many jumpers again in his life. i'll give LeBron credit. at least he took the final shot in regulation. he missed it of course. baby steps i suppose.

and now, a good sports quote to go leave you with

"Fans don't boo nobodies." - Reggie Jackson

a day of the blahs

i always find it funny how cell phones lose a signal at all the wrong times. i wonder why i still don't have one....

watched Patrice O'Neal's brilliant comedy special "Elephant in the Room" again. if you haven't seen it, buy it or find some clips on YouTube. funny, funny shit. such a shame he's gone. way too soon.

team USA takes on Brazil tonight. should be interesting to see if the boys are ready to play with the big boys or if the Scotland match was just a classic dick tease.

only one cd found my ears today, not that i'm complaining.

Howlin' Wolf - The Definitive Collection

if i had a voice like that...

maybe hell will freeze over tonight and the Yankees won't get swept (i doubt it) and i'll actually get a good night of sleep (i doubt it again)

the customary goodbye quote, from one of my favorites. as soon as my high school english teacher knew i read him, i was soon in independent study and actually enjoying school for a change.

"He who despairs of the human condition is a coward, but he who has hope for it is a fool."
                                                                                                           - Albert Camus

and then something started falling from the sky

i thought for sure i was in for a shit day after watching the Yankees suffer a walk off loss to the Angels (fucking house of horrors) and being pissed off going to bed.

glad i was wrong.

got startled out of sleep by a voice i was dying to hear from. always a good thing.

woke up to a poem being published at The Camel Saloon. check out the previous post for a link to it. it's one of the best poems i've written in some time.

and then something started falling from the sky. holy shit, RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it wasn't as much as i would have liked but it did last for a few hours. got everything wet at least. and there's (supposedly) more on the way.

typed up the 6 poems i wrote yesterday. they got better as they went from my chicken scratch notebook to the computer. i will probably send them out in submissions in June.

my shipment from amazon.com came 2 days early. i don't believe that has ever happened before.

now i'm off to go relive childhood dreams of a 5'9 white kid playing in the NBA.

music for today:
Grant Lee Buffalo - Mighty Joe Moon
Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
Ana Tijoux - La Bala
Bruce Springsteen - Darkness on the Edge of Town
Fun. - Some Nights
Johnny Paycheck - The Soul & The Edge

yes, i agree, that combination makes absolutely no sense at all. welcome to my world.

a quote for the road

"Beauty is a short-lived tyranny."  - Socrates

a couple of burdens

my poem "a couple of burdens" has been published at The Camel Saloon. you can find it here: http://thecamelsaloon.blogspot.com/2012/05/couple-of-burdens.html

all was not lost

so it turns out my holiday weekend was not an entire shit fest. the words decided to grace me with their presence this afternoon and 6 poems made the page. a few of them i actually like. if any of them find a home, i'll be sure to pass along some links.

i tend to write with music on. i don't know what others do, but it works for me. here were the lucky ones chosen for this session:

Reflection Eternal - Train of Thought
Joss Stone - The Soul Sessions
The Mooney Suzuki - Electric Sweat

and lastly, a quote to leave you with

"I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it."- Jonathan Winters

memorial day

i was going to turn this post into some rant about my father but i have decided against it. he's chosen to not speak to me for nearly 20 years so i will respect his ignorance. i'm not going to waste my energy on him any longer. i will simply do the one thing he never could do

BE SUCCESSFUL

a happy memorial day to every man and woman who have served and/or died for this country. i thank you for your service.

i remain hopeful this morning, for what i reason i do not know.

i'm hoping for rain as my crops are dying of thirst.

i'm hoping my friend is ok after our phone call last night. may this be a time where prayer actually works.

a little morning music

Van Morrison - Moondance
Ted Hawkins - The Next Hundred Years

supposed to get in the 90's again today. being a fair skinned fucker, the summer is when the hermit in me rejoices.

i'm hoping the pains in my left leg are simply phantoms. given my history with blood clots, i may be dancing on egg shells for the next few days.

i hope everyone has a great day. if you happen to stumble upon this blog and like it, tell a friend. a fond farewell with a quote from someone it seems like i watched nearly every saturday as i was growing up.

"If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is made up of." - Bruce Lee

lazy ass sunday

i believe it's officially hotter than shit outside. and with a warm breeze that feels like someone left open the front door to hell. come back in and the air conditioning hits you and it's like instant sleep. i feel like a cat i've taken so many naps.

watched a little of the Indy 500. just how lucky can one motherfucker be?

waiting to hear back from The Electric Poet to see what poems they have accepted. always good to get the writing out to some new faces. check out their site at http://www.theelectricpoet.com/

as for music today, not sure what kind of mix i was shooting for. i believe i'm on auto-pilot today.

The Staple Singers - Platinum Gospel
Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears - Tell 'Em What Your Name Is!
Jeff Buckley - Mystery White Boy: Live 95-96
Fine Young Cannibals - The Raw & The Cooked

and to end this fucker out, i shall leave you with something that feels oddly appropriate given my mood, my lack of energy and my existence at the moment:

"Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?" - Sun Tzu

the aftermath and then some random bullshit

so after a night of shit sleep if you can call it sleep at all (more like what if Cally wouldn't of hit the post, what if Fatso wouldn't have stopped Richards, what if we had a power play that could score, etc, etc.) and then some bizarre dream of me in high school but being cool and confident, there really was only one thing to listen to this morning.

John Lee Hooker - The Best of Friends
Son House - The Original Delta Blues

the playoff beard is now some funky goatee. my hair is back to permanent bed head. somehow the sun did come up. and man, it's fucking hot. if anyone has any rain to send my way, please do so. crops were planted 2 weeks ago or more and it hasn't rained a drop. if this keeps up... well, you can imagine the bitching and whining coming.

is it a coincidence that i took all my Yankees out of my fantasy baseball lineups and they now have won 4 games in a row. i think not. they won't be coming back on my teams anytime soon.

congrats to the University of Dayton baseball team on their first A10 championship and their first trip to the NCAA tournament.

nice win by team USA tonight over Scotland. didn't know the team had 5 goals in them. very nice.

looking forward to watching Kevin Steen and Davey Richards tonight on ROH. oh yes, i've been a fan of pro wrestling for over 30 years. so don't be shocked when i write about it. i've earned the sophisticated white trash label, it's not a gimmick for me.

so, i guess, all in all, while the loss still burns me and makes me feel numb and wish to die, it's not the end of the world. there's always next year, as i've said each year since 1994. one day, hopefully.

and to end this post out, a quote from one of my favorites

"After the first blush of sin comes its indifference." - Henry David Thoreau

50 shades of what the fuck was that

this wasn't how it was supposed to end. of course, sports is a mother fucker that way. with disgust i tip my hat to my NJ friends, now go lose to the Kings so i can watch old Fatso cry like a bitch again.

this is a big plate of fucking suck. once again the cock tease Rangers fall behind to only tie the game at 2. then, as the hockey gods smirk in the corner, lose in overtime. talk about a shit way to end the season.

goodbye to my playoff beard. goodbye to whomever Slats is going to ship out in desperation to win next year. goodbye to the assistant coach who is more than 90% likely to be the next coach in Calgary. goodbye to me wearing a Ranger t-shirt every game day for the last 2 months.

and hello to baseball.

this is a loss that will stick with me for years. but as long as the Devils don't win the cup, so be it. plus, watching Carter and Richards win it would make all the fuckers in Philly cringe beyond belief. i might have to watch the finals after all.

hopefully the Yankees will put some life back in me, but, honestly, my memorial day weekend has officially gone to shit.

no fancy quote to end this post, just only what i mumble to myself whenever something doesn't go my way

fuck me runnin'

pre-game music and other ramblings

so, my positive frame of mind lasted for a few hours this morning. better than usual. nothing for me at the post office and my high speed internet decided it wanted to be a diva today. so needless to say, my fuse is a bit short at the moment. trying to lose myself in some tunes so my blood pressure isn't at kill come 8 pm tonight.

pre-game music today includes:

Tom Waits - Mule Variations
Alabama Shakes - Boys & Girls
Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream
Beastie Boys - Check Your Head
Disturbed - Asylum
Metallica - Master of Puppets

if the rangers win tonight i will be too drunk to post (hopefully). if they lose, i'll ramble on all night as i hide the bullets.

ok, not really, but the poet in me can't resist such eloquent bullshit.

now a quote from Mr. Hockey

"All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity." - Gordie Howe

until i grace this blog again i leave you with this

"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how."- Friedrich Nietzsche

cats and hockey

i never thought of it when i named them, though i really should have. and i have written about it since, but there's still a mind fuck in it all. i fed the cats this morning and laughed when i saw t.s. eliot sniffing the ass of langston hughes. all i needed was some charlie parker and some heroin and i would imagine a good time would be had by all.

doing my best to stay in a positive frame of mind for game 6 tonight. and i'm trying to not think about the 18th anniversary of Messier's guarantee. but if Cally scores a hat trick tonight the spooky shit will officially be on. and my beers tonight will be singing Matteau, Matteau, Matteau!!!

and i will close this with one of about a trillion Tom Waits lines that make me smile

"Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just god when he's drunk"

blah blah sports and music for the day, etc.

i'm doing my best to try to avoid sports today. trying to give my brain some time off. the Yankees are going to the west coast. so tomorrow starts insomniac baseball. the Rangers are thankfully off today. i might peek a view at the heat and pacers tonight. the beauty of the NBA though, is you only need to watch the last 5 minutes of a game. the rest of the time is entertainment, not basketball. plus, it's always good to see what LeBron will be hated for now.

so w/o sports i decided to mind fuck myself with music today. below are my selections:

Beth Hart & Joe Bonamassa - Don't Explain
Shrug - Whole Hog for the Macho Jesus
Loretta Lynn - Van Lear Rose
Beck - Sea Change
Shooter Jennings - Family Man
Youth Lagoon - The Year of Hibernation

just odd enough all together that it makes sense.

on a farm note, always interesting when you're feeding the cats and birds and you find skunk shit near the cat food. i think we have 6 new kittens, all born in the last 3 weeks. so someone was busy fucking in the winter. i don't give them much of a chance though. the coyotes seem to be growing in numbers. always fun to sit by the bay window and enjoy this zoo.

lastly, my favorite quote from William S. Burroughs,

"Language is a virus from outer space."

watercolors, insanity and murder

here are some watercolors i did a few months back. i really want to thank Debbie Kirk for sending me the paints years ago and actually thinking i would enjoy it. i have a newer batch that i like more than these. i will post them when i get around to actually taking photos of them. enjoy.

what a damn tease

just imagine the cussing going on in my house when the rangers get down 3-0 before my dinner is settled into my gut.

thank god A-Rod found some magic potion that gave him something more than warning track power or i would have been breaking shit.

yankees win comfortably 8-3 while the rangers, being the cock teases they are, tie the game at 3 only to lose 5-3.

my fear is the boys have worked so damn hard to get this far they have run out of gas. and how the hockey gods work, you have to lose before you can win.

i'm not giving up hope... yet. but unless some spooky 94 Messier shit starts happening soon, i think the playoff beard has seen its final days.

this will be a night of shitty sleep.

links to my poetry

if any of you kids want links to my poetry, check out my homepage first.

http://sites.google.com/site/losersincsite/

i will post links to my work there before anywhere else. and if you haven't read my work before, do yourself a favor and do so. your life will be better off for it.

now for my favorite quote from Charles Bukowski - "I am my brother's keeper, I keep him away."

poetry news

just want to let everyone know my first full length collection of poems will be coming out in 2012 from Interior Noise Press. the title of this glorious collection is Sofisticated White Trash. yes, i know it's misspelled, that's part of the point asshole. stay tuned for more updates, samples from the book and all the ordering info.

farm life

for a little scarier peek behind the curtain here are some details. i live on an 80 acre farm with my mother. i've been here since 1997. i'm hoping to die here but only time will tell with that one. we have many stray cats out in the barns. i will talk about them from time to time. i usually give them names of writers i love, like Bukowski, Kerouac, Hunter S. Thompson, Ginsberg, Corso, etc etc. eventually i think i may have to move on to world leaders or musicians if they keep having babies at the rate they are. none of them get names until they survive a winter and the coyotes. i drive a 1992 ford ranger that amazes me each time it starts. oh, in case you aren't a genius, yes, i'm single. expect a good heaping dose of sarcasm and bitter humor in these posts. that is all

sports for 5/23/12

just in case any of you new to me don't understand my passion for sports i'll offer the following. i've been a fanatic since i've been 6 years old. sports are life and death to me. i'm higher than high when my teams win and have no use for the world when they lose.

my teams are the New York Rangers, the New York Yankees, Manchester United, Dayton Flyers (College Basketball) and Ohio State (College Football). my nba fandom is normally with Sacramento but i'm not sure about that any longer. nfl is mostly depending on who is on my fantasy teams. oh yes, i will bore you to death with fantasy sports talk as well. how i manage to be an internationally published poet and still follow all these teams is as amazing as it is sad. of course, live at home with your mother and don't have a paying job outside of the house and i suppose it's clearly possible.

anywho, i'm rocking my playoff beard hoping for the rangers to revert to games 1 and 3 tonight and beat the devils. i'll worry about baseball once hockey is over with. not a day sooner. even though i know the yankees stink at the moment, it's still early.

as for Man U, please get some players that are younger and not injury prone. does Alex really think Giggs and Scholes are going to play forever. it's hard to imagine the team w/o them, but harder watching manchester city win.

enough of the rambling. the games shall be on soon.

music for 5/23/12

thought i'd share what i'm listening to today. if you by chance haven't heard of any of the people i'm listening to, do yourself a favor and expand your musical tastes.

The Afghan Whigs - Gentlemen
Bettye LaVette - The Scene of the Crime
Gary Clark Jr. - The Bright Lights EP

welcome to my nightmare

hello all. i'm starting this blog for shits and giggles. i figure i need a venue other than my head to rant and rave. some of this will be replacing my poetry newsletter, which if you've known me for longer than a decade, you may remember. i will also use this as a means to talk about sports and music. and hopefully i will stay away from politics and religion, as i urge all of you to do the same. not sure if anything will be gained in this venture, but i might as well creep into the 21st century at some point in my life. stay tuned for new posts. i could be a chatty mother fucker one day and then again i could go weeks between posts. there is no rhyme or reason to me or my life, so this blog should be no different.