apparently, i was born just yesterday...

i had a lovely conversation (turn on your sarcasm machine now) with the dream woman this morning. she told she was trying to get her shit together to come see me this weekend. i thought ok, that's great news. she then told me i just needed to send $140 to Nigeria to complete the ticket for her. the money is to be picked up by a guy and then taken to her travel agent. apparently, i'm some fucking dummy that is supposed to just say ok. so, i started to ask questions. like any scam artist i know, the more i asked, the more "she" got upset. i use the quotation marks because who knows the fucking truth in all of this, if there is anything that could be called truth at all. "she" then went on to tell me about her love for me and no matter how stubborn i am, we are meant to be together, blah, blah, and fucking blah. i told her if that was true, great, but have fun with the other suckers in the world because they are much easier to fool than me. and when any instant message conversation ends up in ALL CAPS, i feel like i am on the right side. who knows, maybe "she" is the one for me. knowing that the last woman that really "loved" me is a former convict, it certainly is possible. but for now, i'll enjoy being single and still having my identity.

the Yankees lost last night, 5-4. that puts them FINALLY on the brink of elimination. they play again this afternoon, which could end up being the last home game for Jeter given the weather forecasts for New York. if they have it on at the sports bar i'll be at, i'll watch some of it.

after the long ass conversation this morning, i am definitely looking forward to lunch with my best friend from high school this afternoon. that should be one fun conversation. with plenty of drinks.

i actually need to take care of some medical shit this morning. running low on pills and i've got to find out if i'm having my blood drawn this Friday at the doctor's office. good times.

The Voice was pretty good last night. i have an early favorite so far this season...

a crazy voice for only 15.

tonight i'll be watching the season finale of Big Brother and The Bridge. hopefully both are great.

that's really all for me. if something amazes happens this afternoon, maybe i'll do a quickie later today.

thanks again for allowing me to waste a few minutes of your time.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Buckcherry - Crazy Bitch
Shovels & Rope - Hell's Bells
Chet Faker - Talk Is Cheap
Lonesome River Band - Perfume, Powder & Lead

"All good writing is swimming under water and holding your breath." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

doom and gloom

the sun decided to take the day off here, so it has been nothing but a little rain and clouds all day long. just another day of misery for me.

the plumbers showed up this morning to put a new whole house water filter in, put in new parts for the old toilet, and put in a new well pump. amazingly, it was all done for under $2,000. now, the fun was holding a shit until we got water back on. i knew i should have woke up earlier this morning. but, it seems to be all working now. hopefully it stays that way until we move from here. mom is just sure the water heater will be the next to go. i, on the other hand, just want to get my laundry done tomorrow.

talked to the dream woman a little bit this morning. we're trying to figure out when to meet. not easy when i'm poor and she insists on me paying for part of her ticket. of course, and she lives in Alaska. i once joked with my mother that i'm only here for the amusement of god. i believe this is further proof.

the Yankees lost last night 1-0 in the bottom of the ninth. they can't win the division any longer and both wild cards are illusions at this point. the rest of this season will simply be to watch the final games of Derek Jeter.

Monday Night Raw was a bit of hit and miss for me last night, sadly with more on the miss side. not sure that was the show you should put together right before the next PPV.

the football game last night was pretty good. it would have been even better if i would have started the running back from the Eagles that went off last night for over 20 fantasy points. it wouldn't have made a difference for me, but losing by 20 is much better than losing by 46.

if my luck in fantasy football keeps going this way, this may be the first season in all my years of playing that i finish in last place. i'm way too competitive to just let that happen, but sometimes it just isn't your season.

looking forward to Big Brother tonight. hopefully i get to see a fucking sociopath get evicted.

it was a little difficult watching the Champions League today knowing that Manchester United is not a part of it this season. well, it does give me something to take an afternoon nap to.

i forgot one thing from my yesterday bitch fest, DIRECTV changed their Sunday Ticket package on me. so, no more Red Zone Channel for me as i refuse to pay an extra $18 a month for something i got for FREE for the last 10 years. so, i'll be watching the Game Mix Channel, which has 8 games on it at a time. talk about speeding up my descent into madness.

got some good music on NoiseTrade today. i'll provide the link below.

that is all for me today. thanks again for allowing me to waste a few minutes of your precious time.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Judah & The Lion - Sweet Tennessee
William Fitzsimmons - Acoustic Sessions EP
Martha Wainwright - Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole EP

"I always knew I'd accomplish something special - like robbing a bank perhaps." - Mickey Rourke

this feels like it's going to be a long weekend

as i was watching the Yankees piss away any chance at the playoffs yesterday, i just thought about how this could be one long ass weekend when it comes to sports. and it is times like this that i wonder why i'm not like other writers or artists or whatnot and not give two shits about sports. oh, that's right, i was busy for the first 16 years of my life trying to win my father's love. and sadly, when you start an addiction that young, it never goes away.

had another lovely conversation with the dream woman this morning. and that's not pure sarcasm today. things are definitely pointing in the direction that we will meet soon. that's a true holy shit moment in my life.

the Yankees lost both games of the doubleheader yesterday. 2-1 in 11 innings and 5-0 in the nightcap. how you play 20 innings in that bandbox in Baltimore and only score 1 run is a mystery to me. they play again today but i have way too many other things to watch to give a shit about it.

Ohio State plays today at noon. i really hope they play about 10000000000000000000000000% better than last week.

the rest of the day will be spent watching some soccer, college football, and hanging out with my sister. she got here late last night after her interesting day sitting in traffic on I-75. seems like she really liked her birthday gifts.

got an email yesterday notifying me that my DNA results have arrived for that ancestry.com shit. i guess in 6 to 8 weeks i'll have some answers to questions i never bothered to think about.

i watched the new episode of The Knick last night on Cinemax. another great episode. and i really like the post-op part of the show after it is over. i really love that they do their best to stay true to the time of the series. it's fucking shocking to see how far medicine has come in just over 100 years.

i'm really looking forward to the new episode of ROH tonight.

i'd like to thank Adrian Peterson for giving my fantasy football team a chance this week. and i'm really happy i didn't draft him this year.

i will most likely be on here tomorrow before Manchester United plays in the morning.

i hope everyone has a great weekend. tip your waitress well and only fuck the ones that cough. thanks again for allowing me to waste a few minutes of your precious time.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

The Ragged Jubilee - I Can't Stop Loving You
Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash - Poor Man's Son
Thriving Ivory - Angels On the Moon
Young the Giant - My Body

"Every bad situation is a blues song waiting to happen." - Amy Winehouse

just saw some Big Brother news that has made me a very happy, happy, HAPPY man.

the taste of vomit in the back of your mouth

there's nothing quite like the feeling of coughing while sitting at the computer and suddenly you feel some vomit in the back of your mouth. of course, it must have been a phantom pain recall from my heavy drinking days, as there was nothing there by the time i got to the bathroom. so, after a good rinse of listerine, here i am.

had a long conversation with the dream woman this morning. i think we have a better understanding of where each of us are coming from. i'm a romantic and she is obsessed with money. this is either going to be one of the wildest rides i've ever been on or the thing that will kill me. should make for some interesting poetry.

i'm currently running on about 4 hours of sleep. not sure why i didn't get to bed until when i did as it was a great night for sleeping. i listened to a podcast and suddenly, it was 3 in the morning. i can't see me making it much longer before i take a nap. well, the Yankees do play this afternoon.

speaking of the Yankees, yet another improbable win last night. they went from being no hit for 7 1/3 innings to winning 5-4 on a walk off home run from Chris Young. that's two straight games of coming from 4 runs behind to win. they at least have a pulse now. they start a series with Baltimore today with a day/night doubleheader. if they sweep both games today, i might actually believe they have a chance.

just had my third trip to the shitter this morning. i've got a feeling the coleslaw from last night is the culprit. oh, and enjoy the visual.

today might be one of the coolest days since winter here. i might actually have to wear some warmer clothes. of course, i always enjoy when the weather gets back to fat guy size clothes weather.

i believe my sister is coming down here this evening. and hopefully the plumber is coming this afternoon to look at the toilet in the new bathroom. mom ordered the replacement parts for the toilet in the old bathroom this morning. if our luck continues like this, we'll be shitting outside. fingers crossed.

i picked the game right last night. hopefully that means good things for this weekend. sadly, my fantasy players did much of nothing last night. hopefully that isn't a sign for things to come this weekend.

Married and You're the Worst were good last night. next week is the season finale for both.

other than sports today, i guess i'll turn the tv over to my sister and maybe get some writing done. that all depends on when she arrives here tonight. i know how she loves Dateline and shows like that. i keep telling her she's single because of shows like that.

that's all for me for now. i'm off to go feed the cats and watch some baseball. thanks again for allowing me to waste a few minutes of your precious time.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Arcade Fire- Wake Up
My Morning Jacket - Suspicious Minds (Live)
Calvin Harris w/Ellie Goulding - I Need Your Love

"A political prisoner is someone who is out fighting for his or her people's rights and freedom and is imprisoned for that alone." - Leonard Peltier

http://www.leonardpeltier.info/

the big cool down

well, we had the line of fuck you storms come through last night. we didn't get much of the action, as that was mostly to the north of us. what we did get was a big cool down. it's been in the 60's all day long. was actually able to open up the house and let it air out.

just when i thought the water problems were over with... one of the toilets started acting up today. good times.

the Yankees started horribly last night. down 4 runs and had their starting pitcher knocked out in the first inning. but, it was one of the rare nights they actually showed some backbone and gave a shit. they went on to win 8-5. my first victory beer since god knows when. they play again tonight.

Big Brother was pretty good last night. thankfully, there is a new HOH. i might get my wish of Frankie getting evicted after all.

The Bridge was great once again last night. i love all the different layers of the show. and just how much of it is intertwined with everything else. what a fantastic web.

other than the NFL game tonight, i'll be watching Married and You're the Worst on FX.

i do have a couple fantasy players going tonight. i've picked Baltimore to win, mostly just by going with my gut.

i wrote 3 poems last night as there was no way i could fall asleep with how my body was aching in the rain. i typed them up this afternoon and think i may have a few winners in the batch.

i heard from the dream woman today. told her i missed her and she seemed shocked. said i didn't act like i wanted to get to know her better. so, i suppose the poems, the messages on Google+, and the voice messages were just me twiddling my fucking thumbs. i suppose what i learned as a teen is correct; i'll never fucking understand women.

after i get this done i'm going to take a long shower.

mom went to the audiologist today. i guess she's lost more hearing in her ear. they are going to try a different kind of hearing aid with her. i feel bad for her. she's under so much fucking stress that her body is breaking down now. hopefully, one of the doctors just force her to retire. that could be the best thing to happen to her. and considering she's vastly underpaid with what she does anyway, she's not going to notice much of a difference in money.

so, on that high note, that's all for me today. thank you for allowing me to waste a few minutes of your precious time.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Push The Sky Away
Van Morrison - Moondance
Fiona Apple - Tidal

"Life is a traveling to the edge of knowledge, then a leap taken." - D.H. Lawrence

Frontier Communications sucks (insert the body part of your choice here)

this post would have gone up hours ago but for some unknown fucking reason, the internet was down for over 7 hours today. and it has been going in and out tonight. just fucking lovely. my shitty, and i do mean shitty, internet service company has no fucking clue why it was out. they were kind enough to give us back $25, which i'm sure they will somehow forget to show on the next bill. if anyone ever wonders why i would love to leave this state forever, today was a shining example.

so, let's begin back on Sunday...

Manchester United played to a 1-1 draw. better than a loss i suppose, but not by much. they play again on Tuesday in the Capital One Cup. hopefully, they get a damn win. and i do hope they announce some desperately needed signings.

the Yankees won a huge game on Sunday, getting a walk off pinch hit home run in the bottom of the 10th to win 7-4. and then tonight they won 8-1 in Kansas City. that's five straight wins. hopefully they can continue the hot streak in Detroit tomorrow night.

Big Brother was good Sunday night. Ray Donovan was really good. The Strain was insanely brilliant as usual. Masters of Sex was pretty good. i did catch bits and pieces of the video music awards. i did like the one write up that said the awards were basically a two hour warm up for a Beyonce concert.

i did happen to write 3 poems last night. i typed those up today while the internet was out. i like them. hopefully they will get published in my next batch of submissions.

i got my packages from amazon.com today. of course, i only got 1 of them. mom was in a pissed off mood and went to the post office to get the other one. they were scanned in on Saturday afternoon, so i'm not really sure why they didn't have both in the box. or at the very least, a notice that one of them was in the back. the dumb fuck told my mother that they just would have put it in the box on Tuesday. and people wonder why the post office is hated. like someone buys something online and doesn't give a shit when they get it. another fucking reason to leave.

i watched a ton of soccer while not checking my emails. and since none of the teams playing were teams i gave a shit about, i caught up on some napping.

Monday Night Raw was pretty good tonight. i was in and out of the show all night with the baseball game and the Emmy Awards. the night was mostly about a more aggressive John Cena. thankfully, i had other shit to watch during that boring shit.

i will hopefully be on here tomorrow after Manchester United plays. i have to get to the store to pick up my medicine refills, so it may be after that.

oh, i heard from the dream woman finally. at least i know she's still alive.

that's all for me. thank you for allowing me to waste a few minutes of your precious time.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises, and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease my enemies...

music:

Temple of the Dog - Temple of the Dog
The Coasters - The Very Best of The Coasters
FKA Twigs - LP1

"I like women. I don't understand them, but I like them." - Sean Connery

another creative outburst

before i get to what the hell i was doing up at 3 in the morning making YouTube videos, i have a little story to tell.

so, yesterday i wrote that i had not seen my cat Tolstoy for over 2 weeks. lo and behold, today when i go out to feed the cats, Tolstoy is where he normally is, just chillin', waiting for some food. at least i know one creature that reads this blog. and i completely understand why i prefer cats to dogs; they are indifferent pricks much like myself.

now back to our regularly scheduled programming...

those two YouTube videos came from just not being able to fall asleep last night. so, i finally decided to see if i could find a spot in my dirty ass room to set up the mini tripod mom got me awhile back. once i figured that out, it was go time. both of those poems have been on my 'to do' list for quite some time. i hope everyone enjoys the videos. and if you do, please feel free to tell EVERYONE and share it with the world.

the Yankees play tonight down in Tampa. i almost give a shit.

Big Brother was pretty good last night. as i thought, Nicole got the boot. the next eviction will be the most interesting one of the season. i figure whoever does get voted out will end up walking right back in, as that is what the next twist will be.

Married and You're The Worst were good last night as well. i suppose FX doesn't do any bad shows.

tonight i'll be checking out the season finale of Treehouse Masters and another episode of The Knick on Cinemax. if i somehow also get a victory beer out of the evening, i will be thrilled.

i did have a drink this afternoon when mom decided she wanted to go out to lunch. i'm not one to turn down a free meal. i only had one drink though, i was driving after all. we went to Ruby Tuesday. it was the first time i have ever been to one, shockingly. i had a pretty damn good Cuban sandwich, so there's a good chance we'll end up going again. about 100% as we have another coupon for it.

i'm hoping to get to bed at a decent hour tonight as Manchester United plays early in the morning. hard to believe another Premier League season is upon us. hopefully the disaster of last season will never happen again in my lifetime.

had a very brief chat with the dream woman today. she's been super fucking busy here lately. i do love the way she manages to life my spirits with just a hello. hopefully i'll get a chance to really talk with her this weekend. that time difference between here and Alaska fucking sucks though.

that's all for me today. i do hope EVERYONE has a great weekend.

be well. be cool. be creative. be quick to send me CASH, panties, love letters, hate mail, broken promises, and old pennies. and be sure to only fuck the ones that cough.

peace and chicken grease my enemies...

music:

Arcade Fire - Wake Up
Brett Dennen - Queen of the Westside
Morphine - You Look Like Rain
Grace Potter - I Shall Be Released (Live)
Lonesome River Band - Perfume, Powder & Lead
Muddy Waters - Mannish Boy

"If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?" - Will Rogers

hello sadness, it's been awhile...

my sister called me yesterday with the news that Robin Williams was dead. this really came out of nowhere for me. as i dug deeper online and saw that he was dead and had committed suicide, i really got bummed out. he was one of the bigger comedic influences in my life. i can remember him from the Mork and Mindy days and how he could always make me laugh. and with it being suicide, it really hits closer to home. i have battled that temptation for many years now. and the harder i try to keep the dark side of me down, the more i figure i will give in at some point. hopefully, that is many years from now. i will deeply miss Robin Williams. not only for his comedy, but for the movie that sent me in the crazy direction i am in now, Dead Poets Society. O Captain My Captain, may you find the peace you deserve. you will be missed.

i believe the dream woman and i just had our first argument. over money of course. funny how that always creeps into these situations.

the Yankees had a lead last night, 3-1. next thing you know, they gave up 10 straight runs to lose 11-3. ouch. thank god they are rained out tonight. i need a break from them. hopefully they will do better on Wednesday.

Monday Night Raw was pretty good last night. they held the Hulk Hogan stuff for the very end, which i figured they were going to do to try to help the ratings. overall, the three hours went by pretty fast.

i followed the Manchester United game today online as i was watching Real Madrid win the UEFA Super Cup. hard to imagine that Fellaini scored the winner for United at the death. 2-1 win over Valencia. i'll enjoy that victory beer after i sweep the floors.

i got up this morning and did the dishes. i figured i was already in pain, might as well pile on. good times.

i guess i'll be watching Tyrant tonight and that might be it. it should be another really good episode.

the weather here has taken another turn to the cool side. supposed to be in the 60's for the next few days. one of the oddest summers i can ever remember.

that's pretty much all for me today. oh wait...

i used a different lotion to masturbate today and holy shit, what a feeling. now go and enjoy that visual...

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, love, hate mail, whatever your heart desires...

peace and chicken grease my enemies...

music:

The Glitch Mob - Drive It Like You Stole It
The Glitch Mob w/Swan - Between Two Points
DJ Shadow & Little Dragon - Scale It Back
St. Vincent - Digital Witness
Goldfrapp - Ooh La La
Cocorosie - Werewolf

"When in doubt, go for the dick joke." - Robin Williams (July 21, 1951 - August 11, 2014)

nanu nanu