welcome to the madness...

 so, today started off with nothing but rain and wind. i got almost 4 hours of sleep last night yet still managed to get my mother to her doctor's appointment on time this morning. that went pretty well. my mother's blood pressure is fucked at the moment, so she will be probably starting some new meds soon. joy.

NXT was good last night.

AEW was great last night, especially the main event.

the New York Rangers whipped the shit out of Philadelphia last night, 9-0.

Snowfall was excellent last night.

The Masked Singer was fucking crazy once again.

i decided to watch the Manchester United before writing this. i'm glad i did. United defeated AC Milan 1-0 to advance in the Europa League. Paul Pogba came off the bench to start the second half and scored 3 minutes later. if he can stay healthy the rest of the season, that should help.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight, two episodes of The Unicorn, Desus & Mero and Cake. i'll watch NXT UK sometime tonight on either Peacock or WWE Network.

the USMNT under 23's are playing Costa Rica as i'm typing this. they are up 1-0. this is part of the Olympic qualifying that the USA really needs badly. they haven't been to the Olympics since 2008. hopefully, they will win. (thankfully, they just won, 1-0)

the First Four started today. i will probably watch some of the games. i picked Gonzaga to win it all. i really couldn't care if they do or not.

i have no clue when i will be on here tomorrow. i know mom has physical therapy coming around noon tomorrow. it will probably be sometime after that or early in the morning.

i have dinner to go make, so that's all for me kids.

until tomorrow...

fight the power.

fuck racism.

fuck hatred.

fuck the police.

black lives matter.

stay healthy.

wash your fucking hands.

wear your mask.

puedes encontrarme una mujer que no quiera dinero, por favor

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Nightwish - Ghost Love Score (Live)

Unleash The Archers - General Of The Dark Army

Stevie Nicks - Edge Of Seventeen

Maria McKee - If Love Is a Red Dress (Hang Me in Rags)

"Success is the sweetest revenge." - Vanessa Williams

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

like a punch to the dick of your soul

 the Yankees lost last night to Tampa, 2-1. talk about a punch to the dick. yet another fucking year of what could have been...

here are your highlights from Game 5 of the NBA Finals. Game 6 will be on Sunday.

Smackdown and 205 Live were both pretty good last night.

the series finale of Room 104 was excellent last night.

Real Time with Bill Maher was pretty funny last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Saturday Night Live, Austin City Limits and ROH.

i will probably be watching plenty of college football today and hopefully, going through the baseball cards that my sister is bringing down and the order from Topps.com, that should arrive today.

thanks to everyone that checked out my latest published poems. i really do appreciate it.

https://terrorhousemag.com/feels/

i have no clue when i will be on here tomorrow. the Saints don't play until Monday night, so i assume i will be on here before the football games start on Sunday.

i hope everyone has a great Saturday.

until tomorrow kids...

fight the power.

fuck racism.

fuck hatred.

fuck the police.

black lives matter.

stay healthy.

wash your fucking hands.

wear your mask.

como un puñetazo al alma

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Beck - Loser

Social Distortion - Ball and Chain (Live)

Nirvana - Jesus Doesn't Want Me For A Sunbeam (Life)

Maria McKee - If Love Is a Red Dress (Hang Me in Rags)

"I don't know what other people are doing - I just know about me." - Thelonious Monk

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

 

4 in the morning, in a cold sweat...

i am somewhat used to having bad dreams. i mean, i have probably died in my dreams a couple million times i suppose. but the dream last night was different. it felt more real, more likely to fucking happen. i would guess the dream was about 10 to 15 years in the future. i know it was a dream because i was successful and happy. the writing was actually making me money and i was with a beautiful woman (the muse). i was walking down the street, back to our little utopia in some tall building in some big city, where out of nowhere i was shot in the face and killed. and it happened just like that. no warning, no slow motion... i popped out of bed like what the fuck. i got online to see if the muse happened to be awake, as she would be the only one i would want to talk to at that point. of course, 4 in the morning, most people are fucking asleep. i got back in bed and tried to calm myself. that didn't work but i eventually did go back to sleep. i think i got 3 hours or so after that. i have had this long held belief, since childhood, that happiness was something that i wasn't supposed to experience in this life. i have tried for over 30 years to try to change that. i haven't been successful. the muse is one of the few humans on this planet that makes me think such change is possible. i tend to think the dream last night was my subconscious reminding me that no matter how much i think i can change, or if change is even possible, it will be taken away in a snap of the fingers.

i did finish the mix cd i made for the muse last night. i'm going to be really interested to see what her reaction to this will be.

the New York Yankees won yesterday 5-3 over Texas. the bullpen tried to give the game away but thankfully Miguel Andujar hit a clutch homer in the 7th that was the winning runs. the Yankees can win the series this afternoon.

i took a nap after i finished the blog yesterday. i actually woke up feeling somewhat refreshed. so, after the baseball game was over yesterday, i decided to go out to the store. i found what mom and i couldn't find at Meijer finally yesterday. plus, right before i left, mom told me that Kroger had called. that meant the pills i called in must be ready. so i went there after Meijer, got my pills and a couple other things. i made it back home before dinner.  that made me feel at least productive.

ROH was excellent last night.

i did watch Henry Rollins: Keep Talking, Pal again last night. it was much better than i was expecting.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Big Brother, Power, The Affair, Who is America?, Our Cartoon President, Sharp Objects, Ballers and Insecure.

i know mom has two appointments coming up this week. she's finally getting her eyes checked on Tuesday. and then on Friday, she's going to an appointment down by where she went to rehab. i'm not sure when i'm going to do the grocery shopping on Friday. but, i won't stress over that clusterfuck until it happens.

i hope everyone had a good Saturday. hopefully, your Sunday will be even better.

Moriré solo y miserable, tal como Dios quiso

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Q Lazzarus - Goodbye Horses
Cowboy Junkies - Powderfinger
Maria McKee - If Love Is a Red Dress (Hang Me in Rags)

"Creation is a drug I can't do without." - Cecil B. DeMille

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

depression makes some beautiful art

whenever i fall in love with someone, it's always a hard landing it seems. and since my luck seems to be few and far between, long distance relationships are usually the norm. so, i suppose having one with a woman in Italy was simply seeking to punish myself. i'm not quite buying a shitty phone as why there has been no communication from her end in the last 2 days. perhaps i'm naive, but i would think if the phone was bad but you did have access to email, you might send an email to the one you supposedly love and let them know what's going on, etc. of course, i'm notorious for simply asking for too much.

so depression came to set up camp sometime this morning. and when love is involved, oh the depression gets about as fucking deep as possible. now, since i have roughly 40 years of experience with depression and haven't been abused by mind altering drugs from doctors, i can still function to a pretty high degree while just morbidly fucking depressed. i wear it like a long sleeve shirt in the summer. sure, it's uncomfortable, but would you rather be fat and naked?

i put on some music today and just started to write. i have found over the years that writing is more useful than the fucking tears. i wrote 5 poems today. i really like them. i may even dare to call them brilliant. of course, my ego may need a little stroking to go that far. i do plan on doing another round of submissions in the next week or so.

Smackdown was really good last night. it was so much better than Monday Night Raw this week.

205 Live was really good last night as well.

The Jim Jefferies Show was fucking hilarious last night.

Fuck That's Delicious was really good last night.

Deadliest Catch was crazy last night, especially the fucking ending.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight, Big Brother and Lucha Underground. i'll watch NXT sometime tonight on WWE Network.

i did watch a little bit of the MLB All-Star game last night. the AL won in 10 innings, 8-6 over the NL.

i think i'm going to spend a good portion of tonight icing down my back. mom spilled some of what was in the shredder today as she was trying to dump it into the trash. that was not fun to clean up.

remember last week or so when i said mom had grown frustrated and was just going to start having me do the cooking and cleaning, etc. of course, that lasted about a day or so. and i don't know who is at fault more, her for being stubborn or me for allowing it.

i'll be on here tomorrow after a trip to the post office. my massage chair has an appointment with me here soon.

Hubiera sido mejor morir hace años

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Fiona Apple - Shadowboxer
Freya Ridings - Lost Without You
Sia - Breathe Me
Maria McKee - If Love Is a Red Dress (Hang Me in Rags)
Joanne Shaw Taylor - Blackest Day

"Some may never live, but the crazy never die." - Hunter S. Thompson

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

nothing says Spring like 3 inches of snow...

i couldn't find a comfortable spot in my bed to fall asleep until around 4 in the morning. just imagine my joy when the phone rang before 9 AM. so much for catching up on some sleep.

we got around 3 inches of snow. it was a really wet snow that has melted a little by this afternoon. i didn't think we got a newspaper this morning. turns out the fucker was buried in the snow. hopefully the rest will melt by tomorrow afternoon.

Smackdown was really good last night. Daniel Bryan being back is truly fucking awesome. the end of the show and the violence between Kevin, Sami and Daniel has me dreaming of the match those 3 could have at WrestleMania.

205 Live was excellent last night. i can't wait for the title match at WrestleMania between Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali. that should be great.

Baskets was hilarious last night. the season finale is next week.

Hate Thy Neighbor was very good last night.

The Voice was very good last night.

The Chris Gethard Show was fucking insane last night. i love that it is back on the air.

the New York Rangers lost to Columbus last night 5-3. it was a good loss as a good number of bad teams won last night. i need the Rangers to be in line for pick number 7 or better in the draft.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight and the season finale of The X-Files. i'll watch NXT sometime tonight on WWE Network.

i'm going to try to be on here early tomorrow as mom has a physical therapy appointment in the afternoon. and since we will be south of town and the Toys R Us going out of business sale starts tomorrow... i believe after her therapy we're going to make a stop there before we come home. and i'm sure we'll probably get a late lunch down there as well.

i do hope that the weather was better wherever you may be. of course, if you're on the East coast of the USA, i hope you have a shovel ready.

solo tenemos dos temporadas ahora, caliente y fría

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Antony - If It Be Your Will
Tom Jones - You Can Leave Your Hat On
PJ Harvey - Down by the Water
Maria McKee - If Love Is a Red Dress (Hang Me in Rags)
Ivan Neville - Why Can't I Fall in Love

"Music is moonlight in the gloomy night of life." - Jean Paul

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

burning the candle at both ends...

this morning i woke up to a knock on my bedroom door and my mother asking if she was going to have to drive herself to the doctor? i looked at the clock and oh shit, it's 9 AM. that means i almost got 5 hours of sleep. i got up and ready and drove her to her doctor's appointment. i believe my age is finally catching up to me. not the age 40 mind you, but my real age. between the drugs, drinking, apathy, abuse and god knows what else, i figure my real age is somewhere around 60 or so. good times.

the New York Yankees finally won a game last night. they got some great pitching and of course, another home run from Gary Sanchez. the 5-3 win last night was very much needed. hopefully they get another one tonight.

when team USA scored first last night against Canada, i was fucking pumped. that might have lasted for about 2 minutes or so. Canada of course won the game 4-2. i didn't bother to watch the third period at all. i believe this little caption summed up everything:

it's absolutely time for USA Hockey to grow the fuck up and realize the rest of the world has passed them by. you're not going to win tournaments with muckers and grinders.

The Voice was really, really good last night. a handful of the blind auditions blew me the fuck away.

Scream Queens was excellent last night. looks like another great season.

Smackdown was great once again last night, mostly for the fact that John Cena lost clean to Dean Ambrose for his first clean non ppv loss in 7 fucking years. the writers on that show absolutely deserve a fucking raise.

Atlanta was excellent once again. i really hope people are checking out this show.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be the season finale of Big Brother, Lucha Underground, Any Given Wednesday, American Horror Story and You're The Worst. i will watch NXT on WWE Network at some point tonight.

i heard back from Larissa at Rose Red Review on my poetry submission. while she enjoyed my work, she decided to pass on them for now. she wants me to send her more in October.

i had to run to the store today to get the next round of pills my mom is on. her doctor wrote her off work for another month today. the MRI is coming on Monday morning. i have to take her to the place at 6:30 in the fucking morning. i guess i will either be going to bed early on Sunday night or just staying the fuck up.

i got back from the store in time to watch Manchester United play in the league cup today. thankfully, even though they were a bit too fucking sloppy for my tastes, they beat Northampton 3-1. goals from Michael Carrick, Ander Herrera and Marcus Rashford. they will next play Manchester Shitty in the league cup, at home at least. the next premier league game is on Saturday morning against Leicester City. i will certainly enjoy the victory beer tonight.

now i have to go think of what to put on the grocery list as i know damn well i'll be back there, probably on Friday.

that's all for me kids. go enjoy what's left of the last day of summer. not that it won't feel like fucking summer for another 3 weeks or so.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Prince - Raspberry Beret
The Airborne Toxic Event - Sometime Around Midnight
Morphine - Cure for Pain
Maria McKee - If Love Is a Red Dress (Hang Me in Rags)

"If I knew where the good songs came from, I'd go there more often." - Leonard Cohen

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

the start of a happy weekend

when i woke up this morning, i actually took a shower before i really did anything today. i rarely start the day off like that. i'm more of a shower in the afternoon or 3 in the morning kind of guy. i just wanted to switch it up today and see if anything changed. it sort of worked.

the Dayton Flyers started off on fire today against Richmond. i believe at one point of the first half they were up 27-7. i had to leave at halftime to drive mom down to her physical therapy appointment. Dayton did exactly what i wanted them to do in the second half. keep the game comfortable enough that i wouldn't be stressed while sitting in the waiting room. Dayton coasted to a 69-54 victory. they will play Saint Joe's tomorrow afternoon in the semi-finals of the A10 tournament.

i wrote another 5 poems while in the waiting room today. i typed them up when we got back from a late lunch. i think they are pretty good.

The Big Bang Theory was really funny last night. Life in Pieces was pretty funny as well. Baskets was hilarious and had an ending that left you saying oh shit. such an excellent show.

i really enjoyed WWE Smackdown last night. i had to pinch myself to believe that i was actually watching what used to be known as Kevin Steen and El Generico on WWE television. i'm so, so fucking happy for those two guys. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn will hopefully show the rest of the world just how great of a rivalry they have had over the years. plus, it's looking more likely that Chris Jericho is going to face AJ Styles at WrestleMania. i can live with that.

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be NJPW, Treehouse Masters and VICE.

the rain finally stopped here and the sun came back. there was water standing in nearly every yard on our way down to mom's physical therapy appointment. i definitely don't miss those days on the farm. hearing the sump pump run every 2 minutes when we had more than a few hours of rain. we actually drove by the old farm today. as much as i miss the peace and solitude, i certainly don't miss all the work that had to be done out there.

not sure when i'll be on here tomorrow. i think we're going to try to go to the grocery store in the morning. that way we can get back before Dayton plays in the afternoon. so, if i'm not on here in the morning, i'll be on here sometime after the New York Rangers get done playing against Detroit. the Rangers got some good news today. The King is healthy again and ready to go. and Rick Nash is getting closer to coming back. just in time for the playoff push.

i hope everyone has a great weekend. as always, do what feels good and call if you need bail money.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Missy Elliott - The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly)
Maria McKee - If Love Is a Red Dress (Hang Me in Rags)
The Clash - Should I Stay or Should I Go
The Band - The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." - Douglas Adams

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

you ever hear a certain song on the radio...

so last night was a little weird. we got a phone call from next door saying that my uncle is now in remission. how the fuck can someone go from one day having cancer spread to the liver to being in remission in 24 hours? now, the one good thing about all of this, the doctor that told him he was in remission is the same doctor that was my stepfather's cancer doctor. so his word carries a little more weight than these other assholes in my book. so, i'm happy for my uncle, but i really hope no one thinks remission actually means cancer free.

it has been snowing here all day long. amazingly, i think we might have a 1/4 inch of accumulation. hopefully it stays that way.

NXT was really good last night. i am thrilled to see Austin Aries in NXT. too many people have no clue how fucking great he actually is. and the main event between Finn Balor and Neville was off the charts great.

Lucha Underground was amazing, as usual. the ladder match was about as violent as i have seen a ladder match be in years. plus, the awesome storytelling that comes with every episode was top notch once again.

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Life in Pieces, WWE Smackdown and Baskets.

the New York Rangers play at Pittsburgh tonight. i did see that Rick Nash skated a little today in practice. he's about 2 weeks away from returning. hopefully the boys can continue to play well in his absence. tonight will be a strong test for them. hopefully i'll be enjoying a victory beer later tonight.

i've been swimming in nostalgia today in music. i happened to hear a song from The Replacements yesterday when i was driving and it has been stuck in my head ever since. one thing leads to another and i'm digging through all my music to find some songs from the 90's. you'll see it all in the music section below.

i took a long hot shower this afternoon, hoping that would help my arthritis some. i believe any relief i got is starting to wear off right now. good times.

i have no clue when i'll be on here tomorrow. i think mom has a physical therapy appointment in the afternoon. so, i'll probably be on here in the early evening or so.

i hope this finds everyone figuring out what words of praise you want to say for the three poems i got published today.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Mary J. Blige & Method Man - You're All I Need
The Replacements - Alex Chilton
John Lee Hooker - I'm Bad Like Jesse James (Live)
Maria McKee - If Love Is a Red Dress (Hang Me in Rags)

"My life is full of mistakes. They're like pebbles that make a good road." - Beatrice Wood

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day: