depression makes some beautiful art

whenever i fall in love with someone, it's always a hard landing it seems. and since my luck seems to be few and far between, long distance relationships are usually the norm. so, i suppose having one with a woman in Italy was simply seeking to punish myself. i'm not quite buying a shitty phone as why there has been no communication from her end in the last 2 days. perhaps i'm naive, but i would think if the phone was bad but you did have access to email, you might send an email to the one you supposedly love and let them know what's going on, etc. of course, i'm notorious for simply asking for too much.

so depression came to set up camp sometime this morning. and when love is involved, oh the depression gets about as fucking deep as possible. now, since i have roughly 40 years of experience with depression and haven't been abused by mind altering drugs from doctors, i can still function to a pretty high degree while just morbidly fucking depressed. i wear it like a long sleeve shirt in the summer. sure, it's uncomfortable, but would you rather be fat and naked?

i put on some music today and just started to write. i have found over the years that writing is more useful than the fucking tears. i wrote 5 poems today. i really like them. i may even dare to call them brilliant. of course, my ego may need a little stroking to go that far. i do plan on doing another round of submissions in the next week or so.

Smackdown was really good last night. it was so much better than Monday Night Raw this week.

205 Live was really good last night as well.

The Jim Jefferies Show was fucking hilarious last night.

Fuck That's Delicious was really good last night.

Deadliest Catch was crazy last night, especially the fucking ending.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight, Big Brother and Lucha Underground. i'll watch NXT sometime tonight on WWE Network.

i did watch a little bit of the MLB All-Star game last night. the AL won in 10 innings, 8-6 over the NL.

i think i'm going to spend a good portion of tonight icing down my back. mom spilled some of what was in the shredder today as she was trying to dump it into the trash. that was not fun to clean up.

remember last week or so when i said mom had grown frustrated and was just going to start having me do the cooking and cleaning, etc. of course, that lasted about a day or so. and i don't know who is at fault more, her for being stubborn or me for allowing it.

i'll be on here tomorrow after a trip to the post office. my massage chair has an appointment with me here soon.

Hubiera sido mejor morir hace años

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Fiona Apple - Shadowboxer
Freya Ridings - Lost Without You
Sia - Breathe Me
Maria McKee - If Love Is a Red Dress (Hang Me in Rags)
Joanne Shaw Taylor - Blackest Day

"Some may never live, but the crazy never die." - Hunter S. Thompson

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day: