any longtime fans of this blog or my writing knows of the muse. the last woman i was in love with and we had a disastrous falling out and haven't really spoke much over the last couple of years. a few months ago, we passed messages back and forth and i guess that sort of broke the ice. yesterday, we just started talking and talking and then everything came out. some truths i never knew, an apology on my end that was way overdue and my tendency to become a little poetic at times when speaking to someone that i have shared so much with. i can't say that the muse and i are "us" again. i can't say that "we" is an appropriate term for whatever the muse and i happen to be. but, while writing a 2 page letter to her last night, i truly hope that the possibility of anything is on the table with the muse. even though i'm pretty damn sure we drive each other crazy, who am i to say that isn't something i deserve? the muse had never given me her address before. and yesterday was the first time the muse ever admitted to me she was in love with me at one point. so, as i told her yesterday, may our better angels within us find something to bring happiness to our lives.
it amazes me at times that anyone at all has any feelings for me. i certainly don't love myself enough to warrant anything like this. that being said, i'm 42 years old now. i'm much closer to death than i want to realize. i don't want to die and know i never had at least one fucking relationship with a woman in my life that was something close to fucking magical.
i figure at some point tonight, a flood of poems will be coming. and it hasn't been lost upon me that all of this has happened since the anchor in my life was finally let go.
NXT was really good last night.
Lucha Underground was excellent last night.
Big Brother was pretty good last night. i have no clue who is being evicted tonight, although if Brett is evicted, i do hope Sam uses her power on him. i wouldn't mind if Winston gets evicted tonight at all.
enjoy some music:
and now some of this and that:
on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight, Big Brother, Lip Sync Battle and Snowfall.
i did listen to the latest Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast today. you can find that by going here:
http://notsam.com/wrestlingpodcast/2018/7/19/wrestling-podcast-195-bruce-prichard
i mailed some copies of my latest chapbook out today. i'm sort of interested in what other people think of it. after that, i had to go to the local grocery store. they had a pretty decent sale on some stuff mom wanted. and i was able to do all that before the heat got too bad today. my back is telling me what is coming this weekend. oh joy.
i will probably be on here tomorrow after a trip to the big grocery store.
that's all for me kids.
la musa siempre tuvo algo para ponerme de rodillas
be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.
peace and chicken grease...
music:
TV On The Radio - Will Do
Bon Iver - I Can't Make You Love Me/Nick of Time
M83 - Midnight City
Warren Haynes - Your Wildest Dreams
"Everyone has talent at twenty-five. The difficulty is to have it at fifty." - Edgar Degas
and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:
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