i'm still amazed god hates me as much as i hate myself...

i should have known exactly what today was going to be like when i pulled into the driveway from the grocery store this morning and there was the cousin that molested me waving at me. it's one thing to accept the pain, it's another to try to withstand constant torture and pretend death wouldn't be the better option. needless to say, the poems didn't get sent out today.

i did go to the grocery store early this morning. of course, they didn't have everything i needed. so, i had to go to the grocery store in town to get my bread and some things mom wanted from the deli. mom didn't like the dinner she made last night, so i'm now in charge of making all meals. she acted like she was depressed about it, but i think it was just a simple ploy to get out of doing anything for awhile. of course, she did something to her horrific back again. i can't wait for her to get another injection later this month.

World Cup Update:
so, i didn't get back from the second store until halftime of the France vs. Uruguay game. mom said France had scored as soon as i left to go to the local grocery store. figures. France scored again in the second half and won the game 2-0. i did watch all of Brazil vs. Belgium. Belgium outplayed Brazil for the majority of the game, although Brazil made it interesting late. Belgium won 2-1. that means the first semifinals is set. France vs. Belgium. that will happen on Tuesday. tomorrow, Sweden plays England and Russia takes on Croatia.

Big Brother was pretty good last night. when the cast realizes that Steve is a former undercover cop and not a mechanic, they will know they did the right thing voting him out first. Kaitlyn won HOH. she is bat shit crazy, so it should be an entertaining week.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be VICE, NJPW and Major League Wrestling.

i either got too much sun this morning or something i ate has declared war on me as i have spent most of this afternoon sitting on the shitter. i don't mind when a poem or two arises from these situations. but, when it's agony that comes instead of poetry... not good.

the New York Yankees start a series tonight in Toronto. i'd love to see them go on a long winning streak before the All-Star break starts.

i will probably be on here tomorrow sometime in the afternoon. the weather is supposed to finally break here and be somewhat decent. so, i might actually get out and feed the birds for a change.

i hope everyone has a great weekend.

y espero que el mal dentro de ti no quiera matarte

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Beth Orton - Thinking About Tomorrow
Valerie June - Love Told a Lie
Nikka Costa - Nothing Compares 2 U
Charles Lloyd & The Marvels w/Lucinda Williams - Masters of War (Live)

"In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher." - Dalai Lama

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day: