too hot to even think

i went with mom to get some banking done today. i know how much the heat fucks with her, so i like to go along as much as i can. after we got that done, we went to lunch. on the way home from there, she decided she wanted ice cream. the a/c in her car sucks, so this was going to be an interesting drive to get the ice cream home without melting. thankfully, i'm a skilled asshole driver. but between the heat, the grease of lunch and the ice cream, i'm ready for a damn nap.

the New York Yankees offense woke up last night and defeated the Mets 9-5. they'll go for the series win tonight at home. hopefully Gary Sanchez gets more at bats tonight. it was nice to see him get his first major league hit last night.

team USA women's soccer team won 2-0 yesterday. their toughest game of the group stage comes up on this weekend against France.

Any Given Wednesday was pretty interesting last night. i'm not a big fan of Caitlyn Jenner, but it was an interesting interview.

NXT was really good last night. it was nice to see Hideo Itami finally come back from injury and i can't wait to see what Bobby Roode does in NXT.

CWC was totally amazing last night. the match between Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa was match of the year quality. i can't wait to see what the next round of the tournament brings.

Big Brother was pretty good last night. our satellite went out for some fucking reason during the middle of it. like all technology anymore, the first thing i fucking do is just reboot the damn thing. sure enough, 3 minutes later everything was working again. thankfully, i already knew what was going to happen on the show. it looks like Da'Vonne is going to get evicted tonight. unless she has the round ticket in her envelope, which would make for some great television tonight.

Tyrant was excellent last night. the twists and surprises just keep on coming.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Big Brother and Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll.

i did listen to the latest Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast this morning. a fascinating interview with the latest jobber of the WWE. i highly recommend it. you can find it by going here:
http://notsam.com/wrestlingpodcast/2016/8/4/wrestling-podcast-93-james-ellsworth

the internet has been going in and out today. i think the heat is affecting that as well. good times.

thank god the weekend is getting closer.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Future Islands - Seasons (Waiting On You)
Broken Bells - The Ghost Inside
Houndmouth - Sedona
Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps

"There is two kinds of music, the good, and the bad. I play the good kind." - Louis Armstrong

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

should you still have feelings for the one that crushed your heart?

i don't have a twitter account. but, i do creep on twitter from time to time... keep up with sports, news, old friends, etc. so, last night i saw one of the women i used to be in love with was in an accident. she's always been a pretty private person, so her stating this publicly somewhat surprised me. so i sent her an email and ended it with love, J.J. the one warning i have had to every woman is if i ever tell you i love you, it's unconditional and forever. as you might imagine, the amount of heartbreak that has resulted in has fueled 24 years of writing poems. part of me really wonders if i should still be that way. it's painfully obvious the small number of women that have told me they love me don't think of it the same way. i'll admit, in the dark times, it truly is hard to even think of love. and my hindsight is full of what ifs and quite honestly, my imagination never sees any of them as something good. i remember my old friend that got me into writing poetry in the first place. he told me i was made for this... that i can walk into any situation or society and think of things in a poetic way. now 40, i often look at the negative in that. the tragedy of needing the bad to make "art". that my critical eyes have never been able to enjoy moments or snapshots of time, all because my brain was always thinking about the next poem, the next line, the next funny way to say the same thing again. ultimately, i figure i will die alone. broke, broken and probably with a pen in hand. it's not the way i want it to happen, but there's plenty of shit in this world i don't get to control. but, i do admit, it's creepy as hell to drive past roadside memorials and wonder if that was the one that was supposed to complete my life. and sadly, it's that emptiness that keeps me clinging to the few moments in my life that i felt i had the one. the handful of women that made me feel like i was something special to someone other than myself. i keep hoping that sometime while i'm on the back side of the circle, i'll actually get to feel that again. and maybe even more than just over the phone or in an email. we all know what happens when hope dies...

i did a little poetry work yesterday. i believe i have 15 unpublished poems that i actually like. probably tomorrow, i'll assemble them and submit them for possible publication. i haven't had a chapbook out in years, so i'm really hoping this works out.

Euro 2016 Update:
Italy completely outplayed Spain for the entire game yesterday. Italy won 2-0 and honestly, it should have been worse. Iceland had a huge upset of England, 2-1. when England scored early, i was really curious to see what Iceland would do. when they scored just 2 minutes later, i knew Iceland had the fight in them to pull off the upset. England's coach resigned after the game. rightly so as i imagine this will be a black eye for the country for years to come. so the quarterfinals look like this:
Poland vs. Portugal, Wales vs. Belgium, Germany vs. Italy, France vs. Iceland. it should be really entertaining from here on out.

the New York Yankees lost last night 9-6. they had a 6-5 lead going into the 9th and then had to sit through a 3 1/2 hour rain delay. so you can imagine my joy watching them lose at 2:30 in the morning. of course, if my hope is for them to blow up the team, they will hopefully lose again tonight.

Monday Night Raw was pretty much fucking boring for most of it last night. i did like that they addressed the elephant in the room with Roman Reigns suspension. plus, anytime i can see John Cena get the shit beat out of him, i'll be happy for a moment or two. the highlight for me was the interaction between Chris Jericho, Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. that was perfectly scripted.

i did watch the documentary How to Let Go of the World (and Love All the Things Climate Can't Change) last night on HBO. it was a very sobering look at climate change. it's a move i hope the whole world watches, especially the ignorant fucks that don't believe in climate change.

for more info, go to: http://www.howtoletgomovie.com/index.html

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

nothing on the DVR tonight, so maybe i'll catch up on sleep or drinking.

i did listen to the latest Sam & Cathy podcast yesterday. you can find that by going here:
http://notsam.com/srshow/2016/6/27/sam-cathy-017-england-is-british

i listened to College Hoops Today with John Rothstein this morning. his guest was Dayton's head coach, Archie Miller. he's trying to do something no Dayton coach has ever done, make the NCAA tournament 4 years in a row. it's a really good interview. you can find it by going here:
https://soundcloud.com/compass-media/college-hoops-today-with-jon-rothstein-daytons-archie-miller

i just wanted to take a moment and thank Stephen Williams for everything over the years and for publishing me numerous times over at Dead Snakes. it will certainly be missed.
http://deadsnakes.blogspot.com/2016/06/dead-snakes-is-dead.html

i need to get some lunch and take a shower. that's all for me today kids.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

FIDLAR - Sabotage
Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons, etc. - Sucker for Pain
Beyonce w/Kendrick Lamar - Freedom
DJ Shadow w/ Run The Jewels - Nobody Speak

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." - Mel Brooks

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

waiting in line at Waffle House

i'm not a big fan of crowds, waiting in line, people in general, etc. so when i drove my mother and sister up to Waffle House this morning and the parking lot was full, the first thing i thought was i forgot pen and paper. this is poem making material. now, i have a tendency when i get around people to hear all the conversations going on at once. then i sort of pick and choose what to listen to. so there was one guy that spent all morning mowing grass and there's the other who had a buddy go to Las Vegas to get rich and then the woman coughing up a lung who wanted a little more sugar in her coffee. the only problem with this tendency is i go silent while doing it. so i'm not the greatest companion in this type of situation. good thing both my mother and sister know i'm an asshole, so it's not a big deal. amazingly, we were in and out of Waffle House in a little over 30 minutes. after that, i drove out to the old farm to see the damage. they are still in the process of selling off the old barns; most of the structure of the old hog barn is still up. and to think i spent damn near half my life out at that place. i have to admit, the lane is much better now. the rest, i'm not a fan of.

the New York Yankees put me to sleep yesterday in the first 5 innings. i woke up after all the good shit in the 6th. when i fell asleep they were losing 3-0. when i saw they were winning 4-3 i had to go get the tablet and see what happened. HUGE home runs from McCann and A-Rod gave the Yankees the lead yesterday. they played tack on baseball and eventually won 6-4. that wins the series against Tampa. they now face Baltimore this afternoon. Toronto won again yesterday, so the Yankees have to be in the keep winning mentality, no matter what. after the Baltimore series, the Blue Jays come to town.

the Sunday night shows were good last night. Big Brother was pretty funny. i'm wondering how much of the last two days is going to make the Wednesday show. The Strain was excellent last night. Ray Donovan was excellent as well. it also peeled another layer off the onion last night that should make the rest of the season very interesting. Masters of Sex was good.

i did not sleep well last night at all. i had some horrific dream that i woke up to screaming in my head at 3 in the morning. i believe i talked myself to sleep after that and all i remember is a plane ride with an old girlfriend that ended up crashing. maybe this was all from the chocolate cake last night.

anyone else need some music?

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Monday Night Raw as i will be watching Ohio State seek some revenge against Virginia Tech. after all that is over, i'm going to try to catch this on the WWE Network:

my sister goes back home today. she's over at my uncle's right now. tomorrow is her birthday. i think she had a better weekend than she thought she was going to.

i hope everyone has a safe and happy Labor Day. enjoy whatever you have planned. watch for the police as they will be out in force trying to catch people drinking and driving. so as usual, either have a designated driver or you better be the designated drunk driver.

for those of you not celebrating a three day weekend, remember that Mondays suck until you break out the vodka. then, not too bad.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
Soul Asylum - Summer of Drugs
Jamey Johnson - In Color
Benjamin Booker - Wicked Waters
Traffic - Dear Mr. Fantasy

"Death is very often referred to as a good career move." - Buddy Holly

and your pro wrestling video of the day:

who needs sleep... this guy does

the wind was whipping the house so damn hard last night/this morning, that i couldn't fall asleep for the life of me. maybe 4 hours tops. i've been trying to steal some sleep this afternoon, but no luck.

i did watch all of The Grammy's last night. i was a little surprised at how well Daft Punk did, but happy at the same time. the performance of the night was Kendrick Lamar and Imagine Dragons. that truly blew me the fuck away. i was a little disappointed with them cutting short the Nine Inch Nails, Queens of the Stone Age finale. but, a pissed off Trent Reznor is always a good thing.

the Sunday night shows were good. True Detective was brilliant once again. Shameless was also brilliant, loved the last few scenes. as for the other ones, i should have tried napping then.

i'll be interested in how the fans decide to shit all over Monday Night Raw tonight. from what i saw online, they weren't very pleased with the Royal Rumble last night. i completely understand their frustration. the unwillingness of the company to put guys that the fans actually want to see in the main events is beyond infuriating. usually, the next night is a mea culpa from the company or a giant middle finger. if i had to guess, i'm going with the HHH middle finger. which hopefully sets up the rumored Wrestlemania match of HHH vs. CM Punk. i could always go for another Summer of Punk.

the weather here has took yet another turn to cold as hell. i believe when i was out feeding the cats the windchill was somewhere around -18. sadly, the sun has been out for most of the day as well. looks like all the heaters will be on tonight as the low is supposed to be around -15. i suppose that would put the windchill around the oh fuck me it's too fucking cold to do math stage.

my mother should be returning tonight. hopefully the roads are better today. at least the lane still looks good out here on the farm.

that's all for me. i'll be on here tomorrow sometime either before or after the Manchester United game.

peace and chicken grease. if you don't hear from me, i have probably frozen to death. it's cold.

music:

Imagine Dragons - Night Visions
Daft Punk - Random Access Memories

"You are remembered for the rules you break." - Douglas MacArthur

the perks of being lazy

i was somewhat amazed this morning when i woke up. i actually got almost 7 hours of sleep last night. it still feels somewhat weird to wake up refreshed.

we're in the midst of a warm up here in Ohio. might even hit 60 degrees in a few days. of course, in true Ohio tradition, there is a chance of snow on the weekend.

thankfully, i had a much better Sunday picking games than i did the week before. to go from only 5 wins to sitting on 12 going into tonight's game is quite the jump. and tonight is a huge game. i am trailing in both of my fantasy matches but i have 4 players going tonight, including both quarterbacks. i really hope the game is a shootout as i really need the points.

other than that, it will be the usual busy Monday night on tv. the New York Rangers are at home against Winnipeg. it would be nice to see them start rolling here soon. The Voice is down to the final 6. i have no clue who is going to win. just 2 weeks left for this season. Monday Night Raw should be an interesting one. been hearing rumors all day of people showing up for tonight's show. if any of them are true, it could be a memorable evening.

i found out today my mother has a fractured rib. thankfully it's non-displaced. only thing that will heal it is time. so, it's more or less a pain management issue. i've suggested to her to start drinking whiskey. always helped me over the years.

i nearly shit today when i saw the Dayton Flyers were ranked in the AP top 25 for the first time in 4 years. they start on a nice run of games they should win on Wednesday. it would be nice to see they aren't satisfied with just being ranked but actually want to destroy other teams.

my other holy shit moment of the day was when the New York Yankees announced they traded Chris Stewart to the Pirates for a player to be named later. goodbye to the human white flag. thank god.

Homeland was really good last night. but, Masters of Sex won the night in my eyes. their best episode in some time. really, really good. Total Divas really made me laugh. like i needed more of a reason to not like John Cena... and it's good to see the divas really are clueless at times.

thankfully, the mountain of trash i put out yesterday didn't get scattered around by the wind last night. and it was all picked up this morning. probably a good 100 lbs. of shit gone for good.

looks like the first of the gifts i ordered should be arriving here soon. can't wait to hear the bitching as i believe i had them all sent to the po box. good times.

that's all for me today. tune in tomorrow as i come up with yet another reason why i didn't spend the afternoon writing instead of looking at porn.

music:

Imagine Dragons - Night Visions
The Black Keys - El Camino
Jason Isbell - Southeastern
Rolling Stones - Let It Bleed
Gin Wigmore - Gravel & Wine

"Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts." - Sarah Silverman

what to do on a holiday Monday

i'm sure there was plenty of productive things i could or should have done today... but i spent a good portion of it watching afternoon hockey and the rest looking at porn. that might not sound productive to normal people, but no normal people should actually be reading this blog. so the creative junkies understand where i'm coming from.

my uncle is in surgery today. not sure what for or how it is going. we've never been really close, probably due to one of his daughters molesting me as a child. but i do hope everything goes well.

had a pretty good Sunday in fantasy football. i'm leading both of my matches going into tonight. and those leads should only get larger after tonight's game. plus, if the Colts win, i will be 11-4 on the week. not too bad.

the Sunday night shows were pretty good. Boardwalk Empire made me think about the previous seasons as a few characters from last season showed up. i really enjoyed that. Eastbound and Down was fucking hilarious as always. Hello Ladies has lost me for good. as much as i want to like the show, it doesn't give me a reason to. so that half hour is back to sports. Homeland was really good. would love to know how Brody ended up in Caracas, but, i remembered, it's Homeland, logic is not supposed to play any role. Masters of Sex was much better this week. i think it's funny that the same behind the scenes bullshit in hospitals back then still goes on today. and we wonder why the same bullshit keeps repeating itself.

the usual hectic night of television viewing awaits. The Voice and Monday Night Raw on at the same time. let alone some baseball and hockey i should be watching. plus the football game that i have fantasy players on both teams starting for my teams. i'll probably keep a closer eye on The Voice as the battle rounds start tonight.

the weather has been pretty damn spectacular here today. sunshine, a light breeze, nearly 70 degrees out. as close to perfection as it gets out here. hopefully the rain holds off until the corn comes off this week. then it can rain all it wants.

i caught that Jay Z documentary on Showtime over the weekend. i enjoyed it. watching Tyler the Creator talk to Ron Howard was mind blowing. as often as i just shake my head at the clowns of this current generation, i equally am amazed by how bold and unrelenting they can be as well. and the creativity of the digital age is really amazing. especially to a guy who can remember when lite brite was the coolest shit around and no one would ever want to have a phone in their pocket, let alone on their wrist.

so as i'm slowly being dragged by my knuckles into this era, i tip my hat to the much, much younger fuckers runnin' this shit.

that's all for today. hope everyone has a good week ahead for them. i probably need to get the pen out and start writing some more. i'm sure these cool nights can produce a few gems.

music:

Imagine Dragons - Night Visions
Butch Walker and The Black Widows - The Spade
Jimi Hendrix - The Essential Jimi Hendrix Volumes 1 and 2

"To destroy is always the first step in any creation." - e.e. cummings

say hello to frustration

so i went to bed last night thinking Manchester United had signed 1 player from Everton and got 1 player on loan from Real Madrid. much to my surprise, the loan never happened because the paperwork was faxed in late. who the fuck in 2013 faxes anything late? this whole transfer window reminded me of how much i miss Sir Alex and David Gill. none of this shit would have gone like this with them in charge. my fear is we now become what Everton always was, a 6th place team just good enough to not be mediocre. hopefully Moyes and Woodward understand that none of this is acceptable. sadly, i don't really know if the Glazers give a shit or not. they simply own the club to write off the debt. hopefully i'll be in a better frame of mind when they play again in 11 days.

Monday Night Raw was interesting. i'm not sure how much more they can kill Daniel Bryan before he has nothing left to give. the Big Show constantly crying has to stop. i am intrigued with the Cody Rhodes angle. with him mentioning his father and the McMahons last night has me thinking that something much larger is in play. and considering that Dusty runs NXT down in Florida, perhaps yet another invasion angle is coming. if that brings up some new talent, i'm fine with it. if it goes to more "Dusty" finishes, count me out. i lived through those days of the NWA and WCW. what i really hope is the CM Punk angle with Heyman ends after this ppv and then Punk joins Daniel Bryan against HHH. then, the possibilities are endless.

after reading that paragraph you'd never know that i've been watching wrestling for 35 years.

the Yankees had a laugher yesterday. Hughes pitched to 5 guys before the rain came. which shows that even mother nature wants David Huff starting over Hughes. the Yankees were leading 1-0 before the rain delay. when the bats got going, i flipped over to the Chicago station so i could listen to their misery. it was great. Yankees win 9-1. hopefully Kuorda pitches well tonight and the Yankees can keep the train moving.

the plan today is to take advantage of the better weather and get the grass cut. parts of it are maybe an inch high and other parts are over a foot high. such fun. hopefully it won't take me all afternoon to do. but, if you happen to email me this afternoon and don't get a reply until later tonight or tomorrow, you now know why.

after a long shower and hopefully with no sun poisoning, i will be watching the season finale of Hard Knocks tonight. should be interesting to see how painful the final cuts were.

with 4 more poems to the pile to send out here soon, i have to rethink my submissions before i send them out now. but that's a task for another day. i have to get gas and get some other shit done so i'll be mowing before 1 this afternoon.

that's all for today. hopefully i'm in a better mood by tomorrow.

music:

Imagine Dragons - Night Visions

"Passion makes idiots of the cleverest men, and makes the biggest idiots clever." - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

and the day started with thunder

always fun when you are awakened by thunder and your back feels like it's in a million pieces. i did manage to sleep 1 hour longer than usual, but i highly doubt if it was good sleep.

i went to the bank today and had a good laugh. 4 tellers are working. and there is a line about 6 deep. i'm at the back of that line. 1 teller has his screen freeze and another is occupied with a man handing her bags of coins to count. i started laughing on the inside as i figured this is my test to see if i can actually stand being in public at all anymore. i waited my turn and got my reward; the good looking teller. way too young and out of my league for me, but that was about as pleasant of 2 minutes with her that i could have imagined waiting in the back of that line.

i got the cats fed and the trash cans back up to the house before it started raining again. which it looks like it is getting ready to do now. this post could take longer than expected. i do fear that 2 of my cats are gone. Gizmo 2.0 and Phantom of the Opera have both been missing for a couple of weeks now. sadly, with the coyotes still around, i think i know where they may have ended up. 2 more weeks without being seen and i'll make it official. of course, the kittens from a few months ago are getting close to being sprung upon the rest of the cats. that will make things interesting for sure.

here is the good news i have to share about my book, Sofisticated White Trash. the book and i will be featured during the week of August 18th through the 24th on the website: http://mauricetudorbookstore.wordpress.com as the author of the week. that should get me a little more exposure. especially to a crowd that doesn't read my work. a big thank you to Maurice Tudor for thinking of me.

the Yankees will try to stop their quest to last place tonight in Minnesota. they usually play well there, but that hasn't meant much this year. thankfully, i'll have other shit on tv to watch instead.

Monday Night Raw looks to be a promising one once again. they seem to have gotten back to some decent storytelling for a change. and, as long as the story keeps going forward and has some shocks along the way that are unexpected and not re-hashes of old story lines, i'll stay a happy boy.

today marked the first official day on the job for David Moyes as the boss of Manchester United. i watched the video of him arriving and it still seems so surreal. hopefully, they get some signings made official here in the next few days to get the momentum really going in the positive.

well, i better get going before the next storm hits. hope everyone has a good one.

music today:

The Jesus and Mary Chain - 21 Singles (1984-1998)
Imagine Dragons - Night Visions
Lana Del Rey - Born To Die
Bruce Springsteen - Darkness on the Edge of Town

"Fine art is knowledge made visible." - Gustave Courbet

trying my best to escape the heat

the heat index is supposed to be in the low 90's today. so much for spring. i actually turned on the air conditioning last night when the house was damn near 80 degrees and outside was like 74. hopefully the cats are smart enough to drink the water and enjoy the shade.

the Yankees got rained out yesterday, so that opened up my schedule a bit. they start a series in Baltimore tonight. the rain out allowed them to change around their pitching for the series. hopefully it works.

Manchester United played a very exciting (if you enjoy 10 goals being scored) match yesterday against West Brom. a 5-5 draw. i would have loved the game if a late winner would have come in Fergie time. that would have been a great way to go out. but alas, the greatest manager in the history of sports steps aside. so now the silly season can begin. i will be interested to see who David Moyes targets to be on the team next season. hopefully it's mostly midfielders and defenders. if those spots get better quickly, i don't think Moyes has to worry about letting the fans down anytime soon.

the New York Rangers had their asses handed to them yesterday in a 5-2 loss to go down 2-0 to Boston. how a 2-2 game became me being completely fucking silent by the end of it was miserable to say the least. as much as i hope the MSG crowd gets them going, the cynic in me is winning. game 3 is a MUST WIN game to say the least.

i did enjoy Nurse Jackie and Veep last night. i'm trying to give Family Tree a chance but i found myself watching tornado news instead. not a good sign.

my writing session went pretty good last night. i wrote 5 poems. first time writing in almost a month. i typed them up earlier this afternoon and really believe i have a few gems in the mix now. i will try to get a few submissions out later this week.

judging from the reports i read last night and this morning, i guess i will be paying a little more attention to Monday Night Raw this evening. i'm really happy that The Shield all have titles now. definitely a step in the right direction. now, get a healthy CM Punk back and you'll have my undivided attention.

The Voice is back on tonight. i'm sure my mom will have it on in the other room. so, i will get to work on my hearing tonight. if something excites the ears, i'll flip to it. if not, looks like i'll be watching YouTube in the morning.

i'll spend the rest of my time trying to escape the heat. and it's not even the hell months out here on the farm. i've got floors to sweep, toilets to clean, and a cooling shower to take. i might even figure out what poems are going where. all depends on how long this impending nap lasts.

music today:

Imagine Dragons - Night Visions
The Jesus and Mary Chain - 21 Singles (1984 -1998)
The Twilight Singers - Powder Burns
M83 - Hurry Up, We're Dreaming

"The more one judges, the less one loves." Honore de Balzac

sunshine on a cloudy day

didn't sleep well at all last night. between my anger and the cold front moving through (that does wonders for my back) i doubt i slept more than a few hours.

after breakfast this morning i did get some good news. my mother got through her procedure this morning with no complications. that relieved my mind a bit. i never know how this shit is going to mess with her diabetes. she gets the results in 2 weeks. i'm going to do my best to stay positive during that time. i believe eliminating the crazy out of my life is a good start. of course, if anyone has any positive words to send my way, feel free. lord knows i could use them.

did listen to Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds new album "Push The Sky Away" this morning. you can find it here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/musicblog/2013/feb/08/nick-cave-push-sky-away-stream
i really enjoyed it.

also, started reading "More Than The Alley" by Doug Draime. so far so good. i've always enjoyed Doug's work. you can find more info on the book here:
http://www.interiornoisepress.com/INP_HP_Draime.html
just judging from the first 50 pages alone, i'd recommend this book.

i did manage to write a quick poem today. i've got a feeling i'm going to be writing some pretty dark shit for the next few weeks. hopefully i'll write some more later on this weekend.

other than that, not much going on today. better than watching it snow i guess.

music today:

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Push The Sky Away
Imagine Dragons - Night Visions
Buddy Guy - Living Proof
Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears - Scandalous

"If there is no struggle, there is no progress." - Frederick Douglass

all things must pass

as i said here a few days ago, my writing session last night was either going to be one of glee or anger. and despite a win from Manchester United earlier in the day, although they played the last 45 minutes holding on for dear life, the Dayton Flyers brought me the anger i was expecting. sort of.

not winning at Xavier is nothing new, fuck, they haven't done it since 1981. but to be out-rebounded like a bunch of pussies was really hard to watch. 1 damn rebound here and there and they win the game easily. i did appreciate the coach saying after the game that the basketball gods don't reward teams that don't deserve to win. no shit.

so, my writing session was 7 poems long. a few winners i think. i typed them up this afternoon while watching the snow come down outside. i know 1 of the poems will go to Jeremy Benson for the poetry e-book project he is putting together. you can find out more about the project by going here:
http://blog.jeremy-benson.com/2013/01/enter-your-poem-free-e-book-for-all.html

and now allow me to address the comments left on this blog by my "best friend" Debbie Kirk, the queen of wannabe tough women. and trust me, that last comment has her pissed off already. not sure why she wanted to air the dirty laundry in public, but that was her choice. i only feel it is right that my retort is public as well. let me peel back the onion a bit so you know how all this bullshit started. Debbie didn't like my first YouTube video. it is completely her right not to like it. she gave me some criticism on it, which i took, but apparently not in the way she wanted. i assume that was by agreeing immediately and kissing her ass. when i posted my next videos, she ate a bit of crow and said they were improvements from the first one. now, over a week later, last night she brings it up again. her big problem is that some people actually like the first video and they shouldn't. apparently personal preference is not allowed in the world of Debbie Kirk. i can't give 2 shits either way in this. i'm simply thrilled that people have taken the time to watch them at all. so, long story short i told Debbie enough was enough, which of course was met with you never tell me to stop talking, blah blah blah. which i replied with i will tell you whatever the fuck i want just like you do me. if you can't show me the same respect i show you, who has the problem? she typed back i have the problem and i told her to fuck off.

little did i know that she didn't have the balls to call me on the phone but instead chose to blast me in a public setting. now, i think i must set the record straight and get the FACTS out there.

if anyone needs to know anything about me, all you ever have to do is ask. but since i am hiding behind some fake image, allow me put it all out there. i'm 350 lbs. i'm 37. i live with my mother on 80 acres in Ohio. i haven't had a girlfriend in 10 years. i haven't had sex in 2 years. i have had sex with 11 partners in my life, all female by the way. as for my poetry being about situations i have never been in, i believe some people call that IMAGINATION. but, let's be honest. most of my poems are about masturbation, porn, taking a shit, wanting to kill myself, life on the farm, the drive into town for the mail, etc. etc. i fucking wish all of that was some imagined bullshit. my life would be perfect. do i write like i'm a badass, sure. anyone that "really" knows me knows the joke. also, anyone that "really" knows me, knows all the personal shit already. you know, like the poems i wrote about being molested in my grandmother's house by a female cousin when i was a kid or how i nearly died 5 years ago from blood clots in my left leg and both lungs. or, are those all imagined bullshit as well?

and now from her comments this morning... you do realize that the photo shoot with Anna was over 10 years ago right? why the fuck are you bringing it up now? and why are you taking it upon yourself to tell me things that she never told me? i need to know shit from 10 years ago? as for your husband, if he has something to say to me, allow him to say it. he has my email and my number, i'd be more than willing to have a conversation. as for talking down to you. guess what? it's a two way street. the day you stop talking down to me i'll do the same. as for questioning my Christianity...that's a good one. am i perfect? far from it. do i have a high opinion of myself? at times, but honestly, it's called a healthy ego. try it sometime. and i take pride in being an asshole? guess what, you do the same shit. and not once have i ever questioned your faith in anything. never will as that's not my job to do so.

to think i have spent nearly 15 years listening to all your problems, all your family bullshit, all your downs, all your highs, you telling me the same fucking story for the 5th time in a week because you can't remember if you told me at all and just letting you go on, letting you get it all off your chest, and this is how you choose to repay that friendship. guess what Debbie? i want the best for you. i want you to be happy, to have a great life and find the peace you deserve. i want you to enjoy your marriage and all the fruit life brings you. but since i'm such a fucking drag on your existence, i will remove myself from the equation.

i'll leave it up to you if you want some fake fuck like me to continue to edit your book. if not, that's cool. if so, that's cool as well. i don't dick over people, like some people i know.

thank you for making me a better person. and i thank you for blowing this friendship up in a spectacular fashion. i can't wait to write these poems. of course, they will all be fake and not any good. the funniest thing you typed was how none of this was to be mean. perhaps you should have tried a less public option for me to believe that bullshit. and if you honestly believe that my meanness is an act, ask my family. you happen to have the gift of catching me at the wrong time more often than not and 2 strong willed creatures can't exist without friction. none of it is good for either of us. and i will not be your excuse for not getting better.

and lastly, something i have never shared with anyone. but since we're airing dirty laundry, when in rome... the real reason i think all this shit with the YouTube video has lasted is your fear that if any of your cool friends thought my video was stupid, and you being my friend and all, they would think you would be stupid as well. and god forbid, you can't have anyone on this planet thinking a negative thought about Debbie Kirk. maybe i'm wrong, or maybe that's much closer to the TRUTH than even you want to realize.

i hope everyone enjoyed a nice behind the scenes look on much of my life for so damn long. guess i'll see what this freedom thing is like now. hope everyone is good. look forward to seeing the insanity Debbie writes in response. hopefully she knows i'm childish enough to drag this out for as long as she wants to. does that make me a bad person? yes, i know it does. i just enjoy the consequences of such things.

and to think all i really wanted when i sent you the link to my first YouTube video was for you to be happy that i was taking a chance and doing something completely out of left field for me. but, i guess in hindsight, that was simply too much to ask for.

music today:

Bruno Mars - Unorthodox Jukebox
Tom Waits - Frank's Wild Years
Imagine Dragons - Night Visions
Gary Clark Jr. - Blak and Blu
Frank Ocean - Channel Orange

"True friends stab you in the front." - Oscar Wilde