it never fails...

mom and i decided on fish last night for dinner. she set the oven on pre-heat and came back to the living room to watch some television. about 20 minutes later, she went back into the kitchen. i was in my massage chair, icing down my back. i suddenly heard an "oh shit!" from the kitchen. i stopped the massage and started lowering the chair to go into the kitchen. i asked her what was going on and all i could hear was fire. oh fuck. i got into the kitchen and i guess the heating element on the bottom in our oven broke. that was what was burning. mom turned the oven off and that killed the fire. she put the fish back into the freezer. a new oven isn't exactly something we had planned on having to do this weekend. i told her maybe we can hold out to Memorial Day and there will be some sales. she laughed and said the ovens were on sale last weekend. she sent me to go get Taco Bell for dinner. 8 PM on a Friday night in the town i live is fucking crazy, especially at all the fast food places. i figure that's because the whole fucking town basically shuts down at 10 PM. i finally got the food after waiting 30 minutes in line. and of course, they forgot something i ordered. it never fails...

the New York Yankees were losing that night entering the 9th inning, 3-1. Tampa's closer was on the mound and he had been mostly untouched so far this season. the first pitch of the bottom of the 9th, Luke Voit hit a homer. i started to perk up in my chair. when the wild pitch ended up tying the game at 3, i was jacked. and then, the undisputed MVP of the Yankees this season came to the plate. Gio Urshela. he got the game winning hit, giving the Yankees first place in the division. Gio is only batting 100 points higher this season than his "normal" average in previous seasons. hopefully, the first place Yankees will win again this afternoon.

Vice News Tonight had another great week of shows:

NJPW was really good last night.

Wu-Tang Clan: Of Mics and Men was excellent last night.

Real Time with Bill Maher was really good last night.

Wyatt Cenac's Problem Areas was great last night.

here are your highlights from the NHL playoffs last night:

here are your highlights from the NBA playoffs last night:

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be the season finale of Saturday Night Live and ROH.

the Preakness Stakes are today. when the Kentucky Derby winner isn't running in the race, i really couldn't give two shits who wins today.

i did watch the third period of the USA defeating Denmark this morning, 7-1.

i have no clue if mom wants to get an oven this weekend or not. i guess that's why i got up early this morning, just in case.

i hope everyone has a great Saturday. call if you need bail money.

ella tiene los ojos en los que podría perderme

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Audioslave - Show Me How To Live
Soundgarden - Blow Up the Outside World
Soundgarden - Outshined
Temple Of The Dog - Say Hello 2 Heaven
Chris Cornell - Nothing Compare 2 U (Live)

"There's sadness to anyone that dies before their time, and specifically ones that seem to affect people in a positive way. it doesn't matter if it's Whitney Houston or a nameless, faceless person on the street. That's just as big of a tragedy for me." - Chris Cornell (July 20, 1964 - May 18, 2017)

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day: