nothing like getting blindsided in the middle of the night

i believe it was around 2:30 in the morning that i had a horrifically painful cramp in my left calf. that actually woke me up, howling in pain. i took a pain pill and got online. i checked out Google news and probably let out the loudest 'oh fuck no' in my life. Maggie Estep dead at 50. totally crushed me. she was a HUGE influence on my early work. i would read everything she put out. it was just her style and balls out attitude that i loved and wanted my work to be like. of course, i was 19 at the time and hadn't lived enough for my work to be that way. so, i went on YouTube and started to look up her poems and basically have my little moment for one of my favorite poets. 50 is way too fucking young to die.

so the rest of the morning was this haze of trying to sleep while trying to not get completely depressed. i managed to do neither. so, i have basically been running today on about 2 hours of sleep. i'm sure this will all catch up with me as i am undoubtedly taking years off of my life.

thankfully, team USA played some hockey this morning, so i had something for my mind to be distracted with. and the USA did their part, whipping Slovakia 7-1. i didn't expect that and neither did any of the "experts". they play a huge game against Russia Saturday morning. that will be a good test to see how good they really are.

i spent most of the rest of the day watching some hockey and putting ice on my lower back. this winter hasn't beaten the shit out of me. it did warm up a bit here today, but not enough to really start to melt anything. and we're supposed to have some snow in the morning. nothing major but probably enough to fuck up all the morning traffic.

amazingly, i actually got a credit card offer today that was too good to pass up. so, now i'll get cash back as my reward instead of miles since quite frankly, after the blood clots, the bad back, and the pinched nerve in the neck, the last thing i'm thinking of doing is fucking traveling.

the Dayton Flyers killed off an old demon last night with a 76-69 win over Rhode Island. that actually puts them on the bubble again for the NCAA tournament. i really like the way this team is trending. i'd love to see them keep this winning streak going. now, the shitty thing is, i don't think they have lost since i fucked up my neck. and you know exactly what my superstitious ass is thinking...

so, 2 victory beers after a week of nothing. that's helped the pain some.

no clue what i'll be watching tonight. i'm going to try to watch something that doesn't involve the Olympics, Derek Jeter, or sad music. but i'll make no promises.

hope this finds everyone well. for the men reading this, i hope you have got your shit together for tomorrow before you actually read this. and ladies, the same shit goes for you.

be well, be warm, be something greater than the asshole stealing your oxygen in front of you at the store.

music:

Ice Cube - Greatest Hits

"Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries." - Bill Cosby

will it ever rain again?

so today is about 5 degrees hotter than yesterday. and for Sept. 10th to be at 95 degrees, i believe i am somewhere close to hell. the headline in the paper today said the area is close to being back at the drought level. so much for the great harvest i thought we were going to have to rebound from last year.

the Yankees lost last night. i watched a little. but, like the team, i think this season has run out of steam. of course, go on a 10 game winning streak and i will think they are going to the World Series. needless to say, i'll watch a little bit tonight because i've been a fan since 1982. but, much like my youth, i doubt i will have any fun watching them.

had a very frustrating night last night. the fantasy football game i was trailing by 10 i won by 16. the one i had a 33 point lead in i lost by 3.14 points. so, i spent the next 2 hours beating myself up for not playing the TE that got more points and for drafting a RB that did absolutely nothing in week 1. if either of those would have changed not only would i have won, i would have had the most points in the league. of course, come tomorrow i'll be over it as it will be time to focus on week 2.

but to better describe this sickness, i'm currently running on 3 hours of sleep.

most of my attention this evening will be on team USA vs. Mexico in World Cup Qualifying. if the USA wins tonight and gets some help from Honduras, they will clinch a trip to Brazil for the World Cup. i will be in full throat this evening. i need to release some frustration. hopefully that happens this evening.

with it being so damn hot, i've spent most of today inside listening to music. and i managed to get a certain song stuck in my damn head, not that i'm complaining about it...

that's all for today. hope this finds everyone cool.

music:

The Gospel Whiskey Runners - Hold On
The Lighthouse and The Whaler - Pioneers EP
Howlin' Wolf - The Definitive Collection
Various Artists - Sweet Relief: A Benefit for Victoria Williams
Maggie Estep - No More Mister Nice Girl
Ray LaMontagne - Gossip in the Grain

"When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice." - Saul Bellow