so, i am trying to get the blog done early today. trying to do this and make dinner before the shows come on is too stressful for me most days. so, here we go.
The Voice was very good last night. the battle rounds continue tonight.
a delightful trip into the dark mind of an evil genius or simply the musings of an asshole
so, i am trying to get the blog done early today. trying to do this and make dinner before the shows come on is too stressful for me most days. so, here we go.
The Voice was very good last night. the battle rounds continue tonight.
the quiet moments, sitting alone, in front of a computer, wondering what to type, wondering who even bothers to read this shit anymore, it eventually becomes this scream in the back of your head. and we all know that you can't muffle it, you can't change into lyrics or some heavy metal riff from your youth. that scream becomes the soundtrack to the rest of your life. that uneasy knowledge that you aren't better than this. that every fucker that has put you down or dragged you through the proverbial mud, or stole from you over the years... they were right. these are the moments i think about when i was 8 years old and first thought of suicide. it was also the year i realized i was molested at the age of 4 by a female cousin. also the age i started masturbating to Pam Grier movies. there's the glorious backstory on how to become a poet boys and girls. add in a love of cheap whiskey, 10 years of smoking 2 packs a day and an endless array of how to creatively use the word fuck.
this is what happens when the afternoon gets so humid you sit at the computer and dream of your death. all i could picture was a dog taking a piss on my headstone. better than my usual dream of my ashes being flushed in a truck stop in northern Ohio. good times.
so, the Yankees played one of the craziest games i ever saw last night. they blew the lead 4 different times in the game, but defeated the Royals, 8-6 in 11 innings. hopefully, they will win again tonight.