whenever i feel down or depressed in public, it never fails...

i'll always run into some beautiful woman or every other woman in the grocery store is one where i just hate myself even more. of all the fucking days... today was no exception. i've got this pain in my side that has lingered for a few days now. i swear last night i could feel a knot or something. my pain tolerance is so fucking high that it doesn't bother me, but now my head is fucking with me with thoughts of a tumor or a mass of some kind, etc. my inner child has wanted to die since the age of 8. so i went to the local grocery store first today. of course, there was this stunning blonde there with her meathead boyfriend. they were behind me in line. i did laugh on my way into the store. i saw two older black women going in. that nearly doubles the black population in this town that i know of. yet another reason why i would like to move to a bigger city, to once again experience diversity, that long lost thought of my youth. at the big grocery store, there was probably four or five women that were drop dead gorgeous. and of course, the one flaunting her ass in front of me in the produce section just happened to be in front of me in the checkout line. she smiled and i wanted to die. i believe these are the moments where any smile i could produce is replaced with misery. between both stores, getting mom's pills and gas for the Highlander, i think i kept it under $170. that's not too bad.

Vice News Tonight had another great week of shows.

Big Brother was excellent last night. Haleigh got evicted first. Tyler won the next HOH and hatched a perfect plan. Angela won the VETO and took JC off the block. Tyler blindsided Brett and Brett was evicted. nothing like a good blindside on double eviction night. of course, Tyler and Angela better hope they go to the finals together, or they probably just handed Kaycee $500,000.  Angela is the new HOH.

Snowfall was heartbreaking last night. 2 deaths i didn't see coming and an ending that sets up a killer season finale.

i did watch a little of the Bengals vs. Ravens last night. the Ravens defensive coordinator was my economics teacher in high school. he still looks the same. and he still can't coach defense. the Bengals won 34-23.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be VICE, NJPW and Real Time with Bill Maher.

the New York Yankees start a series at home tonight against Toronto. they really need a victory tonight, maybe even more than i need a drink.

i will be on here tomorrow before Manchester United plays in the early afternoon. everything is timed out well for me tomorrow. United and when that is over the Yankees and when that is over, Ohio State vs. TCU. so, i should be able to get my laundry done while watching sports all day. at least that's the plan until mom decides she wants to do something.

i hope everyone has a good weekend. my thoughts are with everyone in the North and South Carolina. i know a few people in each state and really hope they are safe, dry and experiencing no damage at the moment.

el tipo de curvas que quería esnifar cocaína de

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Nine Inch Nails - Physical (You're So)
Marc Ribot & Tom Waits - Bella Ciao
Morphine - Cure for Pain
Leonard Cohen - Famous Blue Raincoat

"Don't become a mere recorder of facts, but try to penetrate the mystery of their origin."                                                                                                                                  - Ivan Pavlov

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day: