love can be hazardous for your mental health...

i was thinking about this last night while chatting with my beautiful lover in Italy; clearing up some misunderstandings and remembering the joys of being in love with someone while they are menstruating. i'm not sure there could be anything more hazardous for your mental health than being madly in love while being fucking poor. i'm hoping to pull off some romantic shit for her birthday later this month. i think i may have found something my broke ass can swing, but there's always that voice in the back of my head that thinks it will never be enough. this is the joy of having shitty self-esteem, a disease that has fucked with me since birth i believe. as i told her last night, i am going to do everything i possibly can to make this work or i will happily die trying. i'm sure there's a part of me more looking forward to death than it should be. and i'm really trying to beat that fucker down, but his will is often stronger than mine. it certainly makes for an awkward silence here and there.

the New York Yankees split their doubleheader yesterday with Baltimore, losing the first game 5-4 and winning the second game 10-2. they are now 2 1/2 games behind Boston in the division. hopefully they will win tonight over a Baltimore team they have no business losing to.

Monday Night Raw was pretty good last night, but i didn't watch all of it. i was flipping back and forth with the baseball game. the main event was excellent last night. i could watch Seth Rollins and Drew McIntyre wrestle for another 20 years and not get bored of that.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight, Smackdown, The Jim Jefferies Show, Deadliest Catch and Fuck That's Delicious. i'll watch 205 Live sometime tonight on WWE Network.

i am really looking forward to watching France vs. Belgium today in the World Cup. it's going to be fascinating for most Manchester United fans as it will be Pogba vs. Lukaku. i'm not really rooting for either team, i just want an entertaining match.

i have dishes to put away and trash to pick up. and i think there is a chance for thunderstorms this afternoon. summer in Ohio. wait ten damn minutes and the weather will change.

that's all for me kids.

esto es lo que sucede cuando se vive durante más de cuarenta años y nunca jamás verdaderamente sientes amado

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Bush - Alien
Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah
Sade - No Ordinary Love

"Love is a reciprocal torture." - Marcel Proust

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

the advantages to not sleeping...

so, i just happened to catch my sexy, beautiful woman in Italy early this morning (morning for her, 1 in the morning for me) and we had quite the conversation. and she became the second person this week to ask me to come to Europe. part of me really wishes i could drop everything and just go. but, i have never had fuck you money in my life, so i know that's not possible. and when she told me her mother wants to meet me, i started to laugh. no, i don't think she does. of course, she tells me this right as i was typing her a story of me eating her out. even as perverse as i am, that was fucking weird. but, when she sent me a little video last night, let's just say i'm totally in fucking love. so, now it becomes my search for courage to send a little video back, especially given my self-hatred. and deciding what i have to sell off to start saving money to first get a fucking passport and then actually board a plane for the first time in 30 years to fly to Italy. and even as i type this, i think this could all be a ploy or an evil plot from god just to fuck with me. of course, when your mind is consumed with a beautiful woman, certain shitty things are allowed to persist without much care.

the New York Yankees got another shitty start from Sonny Gray last night and lost 6-2 at Toronto. hopefully they will get a win this afternoon.

NJPW was excellent last night. i think i could watch Omega wrestle Okada for the rest of my life and never get bored.

Major League Wrestling was pretty good last night.

VICE was really good last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be ROH, Bill Maher: Live in Oklahoma and NJPW G1 Special in San Francisco.

World Cup Update:
England defeated Sweden 2-0 this morning. this is the first time England has made it this far in 28 years. they will play the winner of Croatia vs. Russia.

the weather was nice enough that i was able to get out this morning and feed the birds. plus, we were able to open the windows, turn the air conditioning off and air the house out a bit. of course, the air conditioning will be back on soon as summer is supposed to be back like hell early next week.

i will probably be on here in the morning tomorrow. i will know by then for sure when the next round of poems will be going out.

i hope everyone has a great Saturday. my apologies to everyone in Sweden, at least you made it farther in the World Cup than Germany, the side i foolishly picked to win it.

cuando una mujer hermosa te muestra su coño, sabes que las mareas de tu vida han cambiado

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Nine Inch Nails - Physical (You're So)
Cigarettes After Sex - Crush
Prince & the Revolution - Darling Nikki
The Cure - Lullaby

"Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither." - Jim Gaffigan

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

bring on the weekend

i got a call this afternoon from my mechanic. my truck was done. totally didn't expect that. got it home now and honestly, feels like a different truck. totally drives like it is new. that should make my life a little easier.

i had the misfortune of calling the muse today. here's a little glimpse to how that went:
rings 4 times
-Yes
- hey, did you happen to call here a little bit ago?
- I most certainly did not
- oh, sorry, i thought from the caller id you might have
- Nope
- so, how are you doing?

15 seconds of silence and then a click.

i just love a woman who puts in more effort to carry a grudge than to be civil, especially when that grudge involves me. i think i may have an indication on how unlikely it will be to see that $100 she owes me. good times.

i watched a glorious soccer match yesterday between Spain and Italy in Confederations Cup play. Spain won 7-6 on penalty kicks. hats off to Italy for making Spain sweat as long as they did. that sets up a huge final between Spain and Brazil in Brazil. a true warm up for the World Cup next year. the final is on Sunday.

the Yankees laid an absolute turd yesterday losing 2-0 to Texas. only got 2 damn hits and the starter pitched a complete game in less than 100 pitches. at least tonight's game has started out much better.

i watched most of the NBA Draft last night. was kind of funny as it was a great night for the fans to boo David Stern one last time. so glad to see that prick finally leave. i watched that up until...

2 great episodes of Wilfred last night. to see one of my all time crushes in Gina Gershon on the show was a blast. i can't tell you the number of times i have fucked that woman in my dreams.

and now for an odd transition...

my sister is down here for the weekend i guess. i believe there is a wedding or something. i don't know. i don't get invited to any of this shit. not that i would want to be either...

and to top it all off, got another check from doing some surveys in the mail today. so, a little bigger deposit to make at the bank on Monday. if it's open that is. i have no idea how any of these fuckers are working around the July 4th holiday coming up.

hope everyone has a great weekend.

music today:

Joe Bonamassa - Live from nowhere in particular
Pearl Jam - Backspacer
Talking Heads - Stop Making Sense (Special New Edition)

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." - Mel Brooks

the day turned to shit around noon

so, i got in this morning from feeding the cats and birds just as Manchester United was getting scored on. fucking great, this is going to be a long day i start thinking. thankfully, RvP decides he's going to pull a spectacular goal out from his ass and sets Old Trafford on fire. 2 more goals in the first half from the boys and i'm feeling good. then the usual try to not lose instead of trying to win costs them and their shitty, shitty injury filled defense. they win 3-2 but it wouldn't be a Manchester United game without an injury. a nasty, nasty, NASTY gash to Wayne Rooney's thigh. seriously, i'm talking fucking shark week nasty here. early reports are he's going to be out a month. just fucking great.

scouted out a few new places to send poetry to and did the dishes between soccer matches from Italy, Spain and Germany. thank you DIRECTV.

and then the Yankees. after watching Tampa Bay lose earlier in the day, here's a great chance to stretch the lead a bit. of course, Kuroda has one bad inning and the Yankees only can muster one fucking hit with runners in scoring position (out of the 9 damn at bats they had) and lose 3-1. this will go down in the wasted opportunity column if they blow the division this year. at least they were kind enough to get the damn game over in under 3 hours.

kind of shocked Magic Johnson would do something good for Boston, apparently hell has frozen over. hopefully the Red Sox blow that quarter of a billion dollars they are saving in the trade on more shitty players. makes it more fun for this Yankee fan.

music today:

The Who - Who's Next
Matthew Perryman Jones - Land Of The Living

"Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed." - Neil Armstrong

monday morning reflections

well, Spain certainly showed me that my guts have shit for brains. they absolutely destroyed Italy. i think i can feel pretty safe in my thoughts that they are the greatest national team in history. all in all, a pretty good EURO 2012. in a few weeks club pre-season play starts, so i'll enjoy all the rumors in the meantime.

a little underwhelmed with what the New York Rangers did yesterday. i don't think they made any mistakes actually, just curious to see how it will all work out. it will be hard watching Brandon Prust wearing a Montreal sweater. good for him to get the money and i'm really hoping one of the kids can step up on the penalty kill.

was nice to see the Yankees get a split of the series with the White Sox. kudos to Phil Hughes for putting on his big boy pants for a change and showing the lessons he has learned over the years. to get shit on in the first and then last 7 more innings and allow basically nothing, in that heat, fucking impressive.

speaking of heat, the run of 90 + degree days continue. can't be long until the insanity begins i imagine. at least i'm hoping...

music ths morning:

Tom Waits - Closing Time

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing." - George Bernard Shaw

a little story about life on the farm, etc.

so, last night i go to check to see if the back door is locked. i happen to look out the window and see a black cow about 4 feet from the door eating on some weeds. i go to get my mother and tell her "You've gotta fucking see this." She looks out the window and sees nothing, i'm thinking great, i'm having an acid flashback. i hit the outside flood lights and she says "Oh shit!" and flings open the back door. 2 cows and a steer. i go get a flashlight and get all the outside lights on. a phone call and some careful walking in the dark by smell and as far as i know, the cows were back on the farm next door. drenched in sweat, i went upstairs to find a fan and flip between Ring of Honor and Cinemax.

there's a little slice of life in the sticks.

hard to think it's already July 1. but, today is christmas for sports junkies.

NHL and NBA free agency starts.
Old Timer's Day at Yankee Stadium.
EURO 2012 final (My heart says Spain, my gut says Italy, i really just want to be entertained.)

i see a nice long day with the a/c and my chair watching some tv. racing to the computer to confirm some rumors and then a rest period on the shitter. hopefully i won't end up bored out of my mind. hype is such a double edged sword at times.

music this morning:

Matthew Sweet - Time Capsule-The Best of

"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." - Jack London

well well well

thank god i'm not a betting man any longer. Italy defended like gods today and it still stuns me that after all these years, Germany can't beat Italy when it truly matters. 2 great goals from that fucker Balotelli, though i'll never be happy for a guy who plays for Manchester City. should make for a very interesting EURO 2012 final with Spain.

as of sitting down to write this, it's 102 degrees outside. first time this area has hit 100 or more since 1988. spent 10 minutes outside giving the cats more water and felt like i stumbled into the Sahara. holy fuck it's hot.

busy night of tv ahead for me. NBA draft, Yankees vs. White Sox, Wilfred and Louie on FX, might sneek in a view of that turd of a show Duets and god knows what else. as long as the a/c holds up, i'm good.

music today:

Fitz and the Tantrums - Pickin' Up the Pieces

speaking of FATT, i throughly enjoyed the 2 FREE EP's they have put out this summer. if you ever get a chance to see them live, go. you will not be disappointed. go to their website for info on the free EP's.

"The secret of my success is a two word answer: Know people." - Harvey S. Firestone

bracing for the heat

so i should be happy with the Yankees sweeping the Indians but hard to smile when CC and Andy both go on the disabled list on the same day. i guess we'll see just how deep the pool is for the time being. god willing Adam Warren will take this chance and make the most of it. my best hope though is the home runs keep coming.

how in the fuck does CR7 not take a pk for Portugal today. mind blowing right there. a snooze of a game. reinforces my belief that whoever wins between Italy and Germany will win the whole damn thing. if i was a betting man, my money is going on Germany.

supposed to get up to 100 or damn near for the next 4 days or so. that should do wonders for the crops. hopefully the a/c doesn't decide to give up in this heat. and with it being so dry and the 4th of July coming up... shouldn't be long before some dumbass burns a field down with a sparkler.

music for today:

Zac Brown Band - You Get What You Give

"Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul." - Marilyn Monroe

and then BOOM!

it was another Yankee game where i find myself wondering in the middle innings why the fuck do i bother to watch this team. constantly swinging at bad pitches and getting fooled by a guy with a bad arm and nothing over 85 mph.

and then BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a walk, a misplayed fly ball double and a home run. 3 pitches, score tied. 2 batters later Eric Chavez hits the first pinch hit home run of his injury riddled career and the Yankees have the lead. and then the best bullpen in baseball, even without the hammer of god (Mariano Rivera) struck out nearly everyone left in the game. a nice way to end a losing streak.

i have no clue if the Yankees will be able to hit a knuckle ball tonight or not.

i also have no clue who is going to win today between England and Italy in EURO 2012 action. could be a great chess match or just what i need for an afternoon nap. regardless, i think the finals will be Spain and Germany. both are just playing too good at the moment.

chance of rain tonight. yeah right.

looking forward to the new HBO show tonight, the newsroom or whatever the fuck it's called. looks like it will be pretty good.

music for today:

Shooter Jennings - Family Man
Various Artists - Sweet Relief II: Gravity of the Situation (the songs of Vic Chesnutt)

"Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." - Carl Jung