tossing and turning all night long

i could never quite find a comfortable spot in my old ass bed last night, so i mostly just tossed and turned all night long. eventually i just said fuck it, and got up. i don't know where i'm going to sneak a nap in today, so i suppose i'll just be a cranky fucker all day long.

i did wake up to some wonderful artwork from my friend Janne Karlsson:

i told him if i ever write an autobiography, i believe he just gave me the title and cover art.

plus, Chelsea lost this morning, so maybe today will be a good day.

Sonic Highways last night was excellent. i REALLY loved the song they did at the end. adding the strings was an excellent touch. i guess i should really get the album now. (that's a nice hint for anyone wanting to get me something for the holidays... amazon.com wish list link on the right hand side of this blog)

today is going to be another busy one for me. the Dayton Flyers play at home against an undefeated Eastern Michigan. after that, i guess we're going to get some lunch and then get the grocery shopping done. we should get home by the time Ohio State plays for the Big 10 championship tonight. i'm not expecting a win given all the injuries and tragedies surrounding the team right now. though, i wouldn't mind another victory beer. after that, i'm looking forward to a new episode of Saturday Night Live and the preview episode to the ppv tomorrow for ROH. with the matches they have for it, i'm pretty much going to have to bite the bullet and order it tomorrow.

thankfully, Manchester United doesn't play until Monday, so maybe i'll actually get to sleep a little on Sunday morning. at least that's the plan. i'll be on here tomorrow sometime in the morning. i'd like to have my writing done before the New Orleans Saints play at the very least.

that's all for me today. it's still fucking raining here. so, time to strap on the boots and go feed the cats. we have to be near 2 inches or so of rain by now.

hope everyone has a great weekend. thanks again for allowing me to waste a few minutes of your precious time.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Morphine - You Look Like Rain
The Pretty Reckless - Heaven Knows
John Prine - Jesus the Missing Years
Run The Jewels - Oh My Darling Don't Cry
Volbeat - A Warrior's Call

"They say the universe is expanding. That should help with traffic." - Steven Wright

some rain, a masturbation story, some more rain, a little music, poems and some sports...

my back has been killing me all day today. this persistent drizzle is the fucking culprit. tonight is when the heavy shit is supposed to start. that won't be fun at all.

i wrote 3 poems today, all after i shot my load nearly 3/4 of the way up my chest. i guess i needed a release. as for the poems, the first one may be a fucking classic. only time will tell. the other 2 are solid. i'm planning on sending some more out next week.

i spent the morning on NoiseTrade again. found a couple old albums i downloaded for FREE. i'll post the links below.

i did pretty good in fantasy football last night. i picked the game right as well.

i watched mostly sports last night, bouncing from game to game. i decided to take a nap instead of watching a lot of Peter Pan. that worked out pretty good for me.

i'm looking forward to Sonic Highways tonight. it's the series finale, so it should be good.

the New York Yankees finally woke up and did something this offseason. they traded for a shortstop and signed the best reliever not named David Robertson on the market. i do like the addition of Andrew Miller. he should fit in the bullpen very nicely, especially if they bring back DRob, as they should. $9 million a season is a little steep, but, it's not my money, so i don't care. as for DiDi Gregorius, he has the impossible task of replacing Derek Jeter. i like the kid, watched him play minor league baseball in Dayton. hopefully he plays great defense and simply hits just enough. if the old fucks in the lineup do their jobs, DiDi will not be a problem. if they are relying on him for his bat, the Yankees will be mediocre like last season.

this is going to be a short one today as i need to get started on dinner. i'll be on here in the morning tomorrow as my afternoon will be another clusterfuck of sports.

i hope everyone has a great Friday night and a wonderful weekend. remember, only fuck the ones that cough and never shit in your own yard.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Aimee Mann - NoiseTrade Sampler
The Black Lillies - Whiskey Angel

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." - Walt Disney

the fun in dysfunctional...

here's the rare right before i go to bed blog. i'm mostly writing this because i know i will be busy as fuck in a few hours and the last 12 hours of my life i need to get off my chest.

nothing says time with the family like my sister and i screaming at each other at the top of our lungs. add to it my mother screaming over both of us to shut the fuck up and you can clearly paint the picture of family fun. and to imagine it all started because i told my sister it was my mother's choice if she wanted to get rid of a handbag or not. that lead to the usual saying shit you didn't really mean until i had had enough and decided to unload on everyone. this took me to a pretty dark place as it all goes back to me being molested as a child and just completely feeling like no one in my family has ever given a shit about it. i still laugh at my sister asking me what she was supposed to do. she was dumbfounded when i walked up to her and said all you had to do was put your arm around me and tell me everything was going to be ok. i went to my room and more or less wrote my suicide note. now, before you get concerned and run to call the cops, i'm not close to doing anything crazy. i just figured since i was in the dark place i might as well try to get something out of it. and boy did i. i must say, it is probably the coldest ending to a poem i have EVER written. now, the crazy thing will be when i send out to possibly be published and it gets rejected. i'm not sure how i'm going to feel if that happens. anywho, later in the evening, before dinner, my mother asked me to come into the room and speak to my sister. i tried to be the adult and calmly let my sister know that she gives me the vibe that i'm nothing more than a piece of shit since i don't make money and contribute to the world like she does. she more or less said i am. then, she dug the hole that i'm using my mother and my stepfather's death as a crutch and not doing anything with my life. if i truly was the piece of shit she thinks i am, i would have punched her in the face after that one. but, i was playing the adult after all. so, long story short, i asked my sister to simply give me the illusion that she gives a shit and i will try to be a better brother. i think we both know, she's not capable of even doing that. so, i can't wait until Christmas.

thankfully, the New York Rangers were a bright spot to my day, beating the Flyers 3-0 in Philly. congrats to Marty St. Louis on getting his 1,000th point in the game. the teams play in New York later on Saturday. i will miss most of the game because of the basketball game i will be at, but hopefully it goes just like today's game. here are the highlights:

Saturday is shaping up to be a busy ass sports day for me. Manchester United plays in the morning. i took my shower tonight so i can watch the game. shortly after that is done, Ohio State plays the team i fucking hate. but, soon after that starts, mom and i will be leaving to go to the Dayton Flyers game against UIC. and while we're at UD Arena, i'll be checking on the football game and the Rangers hockey game. hopefully when we get back home, i can start enjoying some victory beers.

i did catch Sonic Highways earlier tonight on HBO. another excellent episode. it truly took me back to the 90's for sure. it was kind of eerie as a good chunk of the episode was about Kurt Cobain's suicide. and given the events of my day, that certainly hit me hard. next week is the series finale. the show will be about New York City. that should be awesome.

i'm pretty sure there is no new Saturday Night Live this week, so all i'll be watching late Saturday night is a new episode of ROH.

the high school i went to lost in the state playoffs earlier tonight. first senior class that hasn't made it to the finals in 5 years. i feel sorry for those guys as that will be on them for the rest of their lives.

that's all for me. maybe i'll actually get some sleep tonight. i'll be on here sometime on Sunday with the complete rundown of my crazy ass Saturday. i hope everyone has a great weekend. hopefully yours has a little less screaming in it.

thanks again for allowing me to waste a few minutes of your precious time.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

St. Paul & The Broken Bones - Broken Bones & Pocket Change
JJ Grey & Mofro - 99 Shades of Crazy
My Best Fiend - On the Shores of the Infinite

"I wake up some mornings hating me too." - Rahm Emanuel

freezing rain, back pain, words going down the drain...

i woke up this morning and as soon as i rolled over in bed, i knew it was raining outside. my back felt like two elephants decided to fuck on it all night long. but not typical elephant style, but more like some twisted kama sutra type shit. thankfully? the temps are supposed to rise today so the rain won't be freezing for very long. of course, this also means the snow and ice will melt. so, the farm will be a joyous pit of mud before too long.

i did watch Sonic Highways last night on HBO. another great episode. i think the reason i have never been to New Orleans is the simple fact that i KNOW i would never leave. it's almost earned some like mythical stature in my head actually. perhaps i'll go there sometime before my poor ass dies. as for the Foo Fighters song at the end, i wish it would've had some horns or some tribute to jazz in it.

today is going to be a busy ass day for me. besides all the sports, i have a ton of dishes to do (i'm lazy), two toilets to clean (still lazy), 4 poems to type up (the words finally came out last night), and finally start the process of deciding what the fuck i'm going to take with me when we move. i have a feeling i might try to sell some shit. or, i'm going to be investing in some of those good plastic storage tubs as we'll have a ton of storage out in the attached garage at the new house. i haven't lived anywhere with an attached garage since i was 21. to think that i won't have to walk over ice and snow and mud and shit and dead animals to start a vehicle is pretty much foreign to me now.

Ohio State plays at home this afternoon against Indiana. they are 34 point favorites. hopefully, the game is never close, because at the same time...

Manchester United is playing at Arsenal. United has so many injuries right now that i have no clue who is even going to play for them. hopefully, i'll be enjoying two victory beers later in the afternoon.

also tonight, i'm hoping to watch Saturday Night Live and ROH. sometime before that, i have to squeeze in a shower. this is one of those days where i'm going to test just how much i can get done in 24 hours while dealing with a bad back.maybe i should go lay naked in a snow pile before it melts.

enjoy that visual.

that's all for me now. i have to get the trash out and get something done before the games come on at noon. plus, i guess the cats would like to eat.

hopefully the fucking newspaper is in plastic this morning.

i do hope everyone has a great weekend. may all your sports teams do well, or may you get to see your favorite play or movie or concert, or maybe she/he will fuck you for free this time.

thanks again for allowing me to waste a few minutes of your precious time.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Love and Rockets - So Alive
Marilyn Manson - Third Day Of A Seven Day Binge
Drivin' N' Cryin' - Straight to Hell
Michael Burks - Cross Eyed Woman
Barbarian Overlords - The Harvester

"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." - Rodney Dangerfield

i think i figured out how i will die one day...

ask anyone that knows me, and one of the first things they will say about me is my passion for sports. it's rather uncommon for some guy who also writes poems, dabbles in photography and watercolors. you should see the looks i get when i talk about my love of Tori Amos in the same breath as Slayer. so, as i was screaming at the television this afternoon about some HORRIFIC officiating, i believe i have figured out how i will die. screaming at some blind fuck for an obvious bad call. now, what i don't know is if this will happen at home or at a game. i'm thinking the poems and the art may sell better if it happens in public. of course, knowing my luck, some fucker there will know CPR and save my life and i'll get to be in poverty forever. good times.

as you might imagine, Dayton lost today to UConn 75-64. the game was pretty damn close for 36 minutes. then, the refs decided Dayton was getting too close to Jesus Boatright, UConn's best player. now, his first name isn't Jesus, but don't tell that to the officials. of course, it doesn't help that Dayton went ice cold in the second half as well. oh well, they play again on Sunday against the loser of Boston College vs. West Virginia. as much as i would like to play WV (their best player used to play at Dayton) i don't see it happening.

last night, The Big Bang Theory was good. i'm a little surprised the show can still make me laugh after all these years.

i picked the football game wrong last night but my fantasy player did pretty good. i have a 10 point lead in the game that i give a shit about. i figure i'll start winning in the other league now that i don't care.

tonight, since the Rangers game isn't happening because of the end of the world type snow in Buffalo, it will be some channel hopping until Sonic Highways comes on. i believe this episode is about the visit to New Orleans. i'm really looking forward to this one.

i spent some time on NoiseTrade this morning. decided i needed some "new" music to listen. i found 3 great albums that i will post links to below. nothing beats FREE music.

i've got some words swimming in my head. i was floating some around last night before i eventually fell asleep. that usually means i've got some poems coming. and hopefully they come tonight.

i'll be on here tomorrow in the morning. seeing that Manchester United and Ohio State play at the same time tomorrow, i'll be fucking crazy most of the day. so you'll get the calm before the storm.

hope everyone has a great weekend. thanks again for allowing me to waste a few minutes of your precious time.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

JD McPherson - The Rounder Records Collection
Creature In The Woods - Creature In The Woods EP
Various Artists - Alligator Records: 21st Century Blues & Roots

"One great use of words is to hide our thoughts." - Voltaire

just my luck

so i got to bed at my usual 2 AM or so last night. so, imagine my surprise when i'm wide awake and rushing to the toilet at 6:30 AM. 22 damn degrees outside and i'm rushing down the stairs hoping i won't have to clean shit off of the floor. i made it, but now, 4 some hours later, i've spent most of the morning on the toilet. i'm really hoping the pills i took start kicking in soon as i don't have any intention of missing the basketball game tonight. so, right now it's water and dry toast. good times.

the New York Rangers lost last night 4-3 in a shootout to a team that have no business losing to. i could tell early in the first period they were having the classic letdown game. they had a strong second period but pissed that away in the third. at least they got a point out of the game. they play tomorrow night in Pittsburgh. that should be a wild one.

The Big Bang Theory was really good last night.

i picked the NFL game right last night and my opponent's fantasy player didn't do much. that's hopefully a good sign for the games on Sunday.

i've got to go to the bank early this afternoon to make a deposit. i'm planning on doing that while i'm out getting the paper and mail. hopefully this sunshine we have right now continues. and hopefully the pills work so i don't have a whole new set of poems to have to write later tonight.

i'm hoping to get home from doing all that in time to watch the USA take on Colombia in a friendly over in London. that should be a great test for them. if they can actually win, i'll be pleasantly thrilled with the thought of them actually competing one day on the elite level of world soccer powers. as you might imagine, i don't think they have much of a chance.

i guess mom is planning to try to go to the basketball game tonight with me. that should be an interesting trip. the Dayton Flyers take on Alabama A&M tonight. hopefully they kick off this season with a win. i have no clue if this team will be as good as last year, but i do think they can make the NCAA Tournament once again. if they make it back to the Elite 8, i'll start to wonder if i'm actually dead and this is all a dream.

after we get home from that, i'm hoping to watch Sonic Highways on HBO. i believe the setting is in L.A. for this one.

i got some great music on NoiseTrade this morning. i was a little surprised to see that the band is from Toledo, Ohio. the link will be below for some great FREE music.

i'll probably be on here in the morning tomorrow. Ohio State plays at noon and i think my mother wants to try to drive again tomorrow. so, yeah, i'm going to be a wreck tomorrow. can't tell if the shits are from impending stress tomorrow or the stir fry from last night. but, i've gone enough that i'm starting to bleed. enjoy that visual as you start your weekend.

thanks again for allowing me to waste a few minutes of your precious time.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

music:

Arcade Fire - Wake Up
Nathan Roberts & The New Birds - Nathan Roberts & The New Birds
St. Vincent - Digital Witness
Wolfmother - Woman

"Color is my day-long obsession, joy and torment." - Claude Monet

surviving with hardly any sleep

if anyone wants to know why i'll probably die a good 30 years before i was "supposed" to, i can't help but think it's going to be due to a lack of sleep. and this is not a recent problem for me. i can remember my mother catching me awake at 4 in the morning when i was a child. of course, i watching dirty movies, mostly Cinemax. hell, anytime i see Shannon Tweed i get a hard on to this day.

i survived the stores yesterday. i got everything we needed and managed to keep it all under $100. not too bad.

mom is feeling better this morning. she seems to be talking better and walking better as well. that relieves my mind a great deal.

i did watch Sonic Highways last night. another good episode. i loved seeing all the old footage from Austin City Limits.

Manchester United plays Crystal Palace in a few minutes. hopefully they can start my day off right with a win.

after that, i need to get all my shit done. a shower, the cats, trash, etc.

tonight is going to be a clusterfuck. the Dayton Flyers play their exhibition game tonight at UD Arena. chances are i'm going to go by myself. mom isn't interested. so, i might have to make some calls. also tonight, the New York Rangers are up in Toronto. tonight marks the season debut for Derek Stepan. that should go a long way to getting the lines back in order. also tonight, Ohio State plays at Michigan State in basically an elimination game. on top of all that, i also want to watch some boxing and the new episode of ROH. thankfully, i believe SNL is a rerun. of course, it's the episode i missed so i'll probably end up watching it. gee, i wonder why i never sleep.

i have no clue when i'll be on here tomorrow. i suppose it will be before mom makes me go look at the house next to her brother's. mom and i sort of got into it yesterday about it. she wants a 3 bedroom house and of course this one only has 2. so, i sort of bluntly asked her why is she still settling at the age of 61. she feels bad that my sister wouldn't have a bedroom. i told her i wouldn't feel bad that my sister would have to sleep on a couch when i would have to listen to you bitch seven days a week about how you should have got a house with 3 bedrooms. and then i hammered it home asking why she has given the impression to everyone that she is interested in the house to begin with and already has my sister figuring out how to pay for it. not sure a child should ever have to give their parent a pep talk, but i seem to have to every other week anymore. it's hard for me not to come off as the asshole in these "talks". good thing for me that i don't care about that kind of shit. so, yeah, that Monday blog could be one for the ages.

that's all for me for now. i do hope all 3 of you that read this have a great weekend. thanks again for allowing me to waste a few minutes of your precious time.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

The Killers - When You Were Young
Tinsley Ellis - Kiss of Death
Low - Stay
Brandi Carlile - Creep (Live)
Soul Coughing - Super Bon Bon

"Despair has its own calms." - Bram Stoker

testing my sanity

i didn't sleep much last night. i didn't have any weird dreams or anything, it was more of a restlessness that comes with the unknown. this is my mother's second bad reaction to the last two medical procedures done to her. it's rather easy for me to think the worst is coming soon. now, while that probably isn't going to happen, i'm the type of asshole that has to be prepared for such events. so, this will be a quicker blog than usual as i have to go shopping. and for someone who hates people as much as i do, i kind of have to get my mind in the right place to go out in the world. so, think of yourself as my therapy.

the NFL game last night was pretty damn boring. i picked the game wrong and my fantasy player didn't do much. thankfully, neither did my opponents. of course, i did have Cleveland's defense sitting on my bench. that will probably come back to haunt me.

The Big Bang Theory was pretty good last night. it did make me think of the 3 school dances i went to in my life. nothing quite like being the awkward white guy with the beautiful black girlfriend. if i only would have learned to dance...

after i get back from the store, i will hopefully get to watch Sonic Highways tonight. i believe the Foo Fighters will be in Austin, Texas for this episode. that should be a good one.

i figure i'll probably watch some hockey and pro basketball tonight as well. my buddy Paul asked me if i wanted to see the local hockey team play tonight. i passed as i really don't want to leave mom alone for long while she's feeling like this.

at least the room has stopped spinning for her.

i got some great music on NoiseTrade today. i'll post the links below.

that's really all for me for now. if something crazy happens at the store, you might see another post from me this evening. chances are that won't happen. i will be back on here before Manchester United plays in the morning.

hope everyone has a great weekend. thanks again for allowing me to waste a few minutes of your precious time.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Arcade Fire - Wake Up
My Goodness - Pyre
Sia - Breathe Me
The Native Sibling - Letters Kept To Ourselves

"Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear." - Albert Camus