a gloomy day with a silver lining, i guess...

these are the days of winter i can't really stand. the older i get, the more i need the sun i think. perhaps it's my inner child knowing my negativity is killing me. perhaps i need the sun to simply brighten this dismal time in my life or the world. the silver lining is all the success i had today. between poems getting published and accepted, between a delightful trip to the post office where i got to be the fly in the ointment for several old ladies... one of those days where i try to cram about 24 hours in a span of about 6. good times.

the post office today was pretty funny. first off, i let this beautiful, and i mean beautiful for this part of Ohio, woman go in front of me. she was a stunner to say the least. when i got up to the counter, i had 15 envelopes that needed postage. and since i am an asshole, none of the envelopes were the same. plus, i needed to get a roll of stamps and mom wanted a book of Christmas stamps. after some furious typing, a few deep sighs, the total was around $80 or so. i could hear the old ladies behind me getting more and more pissed the longer it took. that was some of my best joy i have had in weeks.

so, there are a few lucky ones out there that should be checking their mailboxes in the next few days.

the finale of Enemies: The President, Justice & the FBI was really good last night. of course, i figure nothing is going to happen to the asshole running this country, not until he gets voted out (hopefully). but, it would be nice to see his family have to do some time while he figures out how to pardon every criminal he's given a job to over the last few years.

Ray Donovan was really good last night.

Escape at Dannemora was excellent last night.

the New Orleans Saints had an awful first half yesterday at Tampa Bay. they trailed 14-3 at halftime. thank fucking god they woke up and absolutely destroyed Tampa in the second half. the Saints got all the phases rolling (offense, defense, special teams) and won the game 28-14. that gives them the division title for the second straight year and since the Rams lost last night in Chicago, the Saints control their destiny once again for the number 1 seed in the NFC playoffs.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight, The Voice and Vice Special Report: The Untold Story of the 2008 Financial Crisis. i'll be watching Monday Night Raw for most of the evening.

the New York Rangers play tonight at Tampa Bay. the Lightning have the best record in the NHL, so i'm interested to see how the Rangers do tonight.

so mom had me bring in all the Christmas shit yesterday from the garage. as of right now, we have 4 Christmas trees up and i'm hoping not much more needs to go up. as you might imagine, i like festive, but i'm not a festive motherfucker.

i had to sit in on a conference call between my mother and her financial planner today. even with the recent downturn in the economy, mom is still sitting pretty. it would be nice if they would stop fucking with her disability payments. that would make her life much less stressful.

i have no damn clue when i will be on here tomorrow. i think my sister is having shit shipped to the house for mom in my name, so i'm going to be on the lookout for that tomorrow i guess.

i hope everyone had a great weekend.

that's all for now kids.

Lamentablemente, no puedo ser todo para todos.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

The 1984 Draft - Honest
Sade - The Big Unknown
Cold War Kids - Can We Hang On? (Live)

"Fortune befriends the bold." - Emily Dickinson

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

having lost the ability to sleep well years ago...

i would love to actually sleep in one of these mornings. you know, something like a 10 to 12 hour coma, just to recharge the batteries. i sleep maybe a good 3 to 4 hours anymore. that's more or less, a glorified nap. my brain never shuts off. and eventually, i know i will have no choice but to allow the chaos inside of me to run the show and die from it. good times.

the Dayton Flyers lost last night at Auburn 82-72. Dayton had 23 turnovers in the game. that's a recipe for losing, that's for sure. other than that, Dayton was good enough to actually have a chance in the game. oh well.

the New York Rangers won last night over Florida, 5-4. the Rangers couldn't hold a lead worth a shit last night, so they had to win the game in the shootout.

Atlanta won the MLS Cup last night with a 2-0 win over Portland.

Saturday Night Live was pretty funny last night.

ROH was really good last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be the finale of Enemies: The President, Justice and the FBI, Ray Donovan and Escape at Dannemora.

the New Orleans Saints play this afternoon in Tampa Bay. with a win today, the Saints will win the division. it would be the first time in franchise history they would win the division in back to back seasons.

after that is over, i'll probably get started on getting everything ready to take to the post office tomorrow. if you happen to be lucky enough to get something from me this year, check your mailboxes in the next few days.

i'm not sure if mom wants to start putting up the Christmas decorations today or not. she took down the Thanksgiving shit last night.

i'll probably be on here tomorrow after i get back from the post office.

i hope everyone had a great Saturday. hopefully, your Sunday will be even better.

Mis enemigos son mejores amigos que mis amigos.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Charles Bradley - Why Is It so Hard?
The Ragged Jubilee - Can't Stop Loving You
Grateful Dead - Stella Blue (Live)

"Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone." - Redd Foxx

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

don't worry, the words will come...

i was all ready last night to write out the pain. 2 fucking hours later and nothing on the page. the younger me would have been pissed and full of panic and rage. i'm old. i simply went to bed. this morning, of course while taking a shit, the first good line of the month popped into my head. i ended up writing my first 3 poems of December today. they are really, really good. they will be included in my first submissions of the month.

i went to the bank today to make a deposit. there's a certain happiness i get when i'm the only white guy in a place and i don't feel threatened or worried. i was a little surprised how busy it was and then i remembered what day it was.

i'll be back in a bit, the last load of my laundry just got done in the dryer...

ok, i'm back...

when the New York Rangers were up 3-0 going into the 3rd period yesterday, i was pretty happy. when they ended up losing to Winnipeg in the shootout, 4-3, i was pretty pissed. much like i said yesterday, the Vic Hadfield ceremony would be the best part of the game.

the season finale of Camping was hilarious last night.

Ray Donovan was really good last night.

Enemies: The President, Justice & the FBI was about the Clinton presidency last night. i can remember sitting at a table at a friend's house telling everyone the economy was too good for him to be impeached and removed from office. i did enjoy watching all the Republicans then that wanted blood are the same ones now protecting Trump as much as possible.

Escape at Dannemora was excellent last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight, The Voice and Say Her Name: The Life and Death of Sandra Bland. i'll be watching Monday Night Raw for most of the evening, unless it fucking sucks again this week.

Ohio State didn't make the playoffs. i figured that would happen. they will play Washington in the Rose Bowl on New Year's Day. hopefully, they will get a victory.

i hope everyone had a great weekend.

i'll be on here early tomorrow since the Dayton Flyers have a home game tomorrow night. and as of right now, i think mom is going to go with me.

Y aquí viene otra mujer hermosa que quiere hablar conmigo ...

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Band of Horses - No One's Gonna Love You
Q Lazzarus - Goodbye Horses
Rufus - Tell Me Something Good
Morphine - French Fries With Pepper
Bruce Springsteen - I'm on Fire

"Words, as is well known, are the great foes of reality."- Joseph Conrad

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

the best thought you can muster at 4 in the morning

so, there's a part of me that is happy. happy with the misery in my life, because that is where all the good poems come from anymore. the majority of me is truly fucking depressed. when the muse, and that's the last fucking time i will ever call her that, told me yesterday that she would never respond to any of my messages again... that was a punch to my fucking soul. to have your best friend, the woman you talked just two weeks ago about marriage and kids with, to more or less stab you in the heart was a fucking death blow to me. and now, here's where i blow up her spot a bit. she likes to think of herself as a dominatrix. we had amazing, and amazing isn't strong enough of a word, chemistry when it came to phone sex. but, i get the feeling she thought i was a submissive person in real life as well. i'm not, i just have a rather peculiar imagination at times. i believe this is why she has burned nearly every fucking bridge in her life... she has to have servants around her at all times. not people taking care of her, but loyal subjects that will jump at the snap of a finger. she sadly takes this role into her real life as well. and imagine being in a very professional setting, say at a credit card company, and still having this mindset. now, i have no clue what crime or crimes she is accused of. at this point, since she didn't think enough of me to actually clue the one she said she loved in on it, i couldn't give two shits. so, in a since, i am back at square one. i have no best friend. i have no future plans of marriage. i have no muse. these things will either change or they won't. but, now i have two women that are mortal enemies and i will gladly enjoy all of my future success to spite them. it honestly did feel a little weird going to sleep last night without telling someone goodnight and you loved them. and it is in those quiet moments where the horror of your life comes into a clear view. loneliness is the only companion that hasn't fucked you over. in 42 years, it's the only one that pours a drink and understands that death is the only outcome that will suit everyone involved. and it's in the darkness where the light comes to die. and please, don't take this as a threat or a promise or my thoughts for the next few days. i'm simply beating the apathy out of me. driving a stake through the blackened heart and sampling the blood. pissing on the last part of the soon to be dead romantic in me and laughing at the misery. i'm sure i am close to snapping at this point. but the breakdown will be on the pages. and i can easily imagine a notebook being filled soon.

so my final words to her came around 3 in the afternoon yesterday. when i think of all the time i have wasted, pouring my soul out to her and having it shit on as my reward, my final words should have come to her about 15 years ago. and there will always be that voice in the back of my head, reminding me i don't get to have a happy ending. that the love i always dreamed about died when i was molested as a child. that is where the living part of life gets really fucking hard. but, when you realize no one fucking cares, it makes it easier to know suicide is not the solution i'm looking for.

when i find that fucking solution, i'll clue everyone in on it. the wild ride needs a few new passengers, at least for the shits and giggles along the way.

now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

so when Manchester United got down 2-0 yesterday, i wasn't surprised. the fact they made it 2-2 at halftime wasn't surprising either. sadly, neither was the fact that the game at Southampton ended 2-2. more fucking points dropped. great.

i did watch a ton of college football yesterday. the Alabama vs. Georgia game was easily the best game of the day. with Alabama and Oklahoma winning yesterday, i don't think Ohio Sate will make the playoffs this season. but, other than them playing down to their competition yet again last night, i did enjoy Ohio State winning another Big Ten championship.

the New York Rangers lost in Montreal last night, 5-2. they play this afternoon at home against Winnipeg. before the game, Vic Hadfield will have his number retired. sadly, that will probably be the best part of the game today.

Saturday Night Live was pretty good last night.

ROH was very good last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Camping, Ray Donovan, Escape at Dannemora and Enemies: The President, Justice & the FBI.

since my football team isn't playing today, i might try to get some yard work done. we ended up with 2.3 inches of rain yesterday. that was in front of a warm front. it only got down to around 50 last night. the high today is supposed to be around 60. you know, typical weather for December 2nd.

i took mom out shopping yesterday. she wanted to go to the local drug store and grocery store to get a few things. i'm pretty sure she found what she was looking for.

i have no clue when i'll be on here tomorrow. it will probably be between loads of laundry.

i hope everyone had a better Saturday than i did. i hope your Sunday is even better.

La miseria es de donde vienen los mejores poemas.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

David Bowie - Modern Love
Lucero - Goodbye Again
Daniel Johnston - Some Things Last a Long Time
Ivan Neville - Why Can't I Fall in Love

"Character is that sum total of moments we can't explain." - George Saunders

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

and here comes the snow...

when i saw it started snowing late this morning, i just laughed. i guess winter is here. hopefully it doesn't get too bad. i have to take mom to get an injection for her back tomorrow morning.

Axios was really good last night.

Camping was really funny last night.

Enemies: The President, Justice & the FBI was good last night. i was amazed i remembered all the names from the Iran-Contra affair.

Ray Donovan was excellent last night.

Escape at Dannemora was great last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight, The Voice and The Truth About Killer Robots. i'll be watching Monday Night Raw for most of the evening.

the New York Rangers play tonight at home against Ottawa. hopefully they end their losing streak tonight.

i hope everyone had a great weekend.

i'll be on here tomorrow probably after Manchester United plays in the Champions League.

i really hope the injection on my mom works better than the last one did.

No me importa la nieve, solo los idiotas que no pueden conducir en ella.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Grandaddy - So You'll Aim Toward the Sky
Bettye LaVette - Let Me Down Easy (Live)
Roger Waters - The Bravery of Being out of Range (Live)
Soft Cell - Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go (Extended Version)

"I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time." - Charles M. Schulz

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

the heart wins again...

i was not expecting Ohio State to play like how i thought they could play all season long yesterday. i had been waiting for months, and with all the shit Michigan talked for the entire week before the game, i figured i would see a better Ohio State team but not the team that exploded for 62 points against the best defense in college football. Ohio State won 62-39. what i enjoyed most was the bewildered looks on the faces of Michigan fans. it's that hard realization that The Game isn't that much fun anymore, especially when you lose every year. now, i'm old enough to remember that feeling from the other side. hell, i still loathe John Cooper to this day because of it. but, even with his faults, Urban Meyer is 7-0 against Michigan. and as long as that 0 stays in the loss column, i will be a happy man. Ohio State plays Northwestern in the Big Ten title game next. i think if Ohio State does what it did in 2014 (when they whipped Wisconsin 59-0), they will have a realistic shot at making the playoffs. and if not, they will be in the Rose Bowl, screwing Michigan out of that. all in all, that's a win win situation. yet another senior class from Ohio State that only knows the taste of victory in The Game.

thank god i couldn't watch the Manchester United game yesterday against Crystal Palace. if i have to sit through another 0-0 draw, i will pull my fucking hair out. and as of right now, i'm not far from having to do that. all i did get to see was United being booed off of their home pitch. it looks like they deserved it.

the New York Rangers were up 2-0 yesterday against Washington. next time i flipped back over to the game, Washington was winning. sadly, that didn't change much by the final. the Capitals beat the Rangers 5-3. well, there goes the home winning streak.

i did watch that crazy fucking game between LSU and Texas A&M last night. that was one for the ages. A&M won 74-72 in 7 OT.

ROH was pretty good last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Axios, Camping, Enemies: The President, Justice & the FBI, Ray Donovan and Escape at Dannemora. i do plan on watching the WWE 2018 Starrcade Special sometime tonight on WWE Network.

i will probably also watch some of the MLS playoffs today as well.

the rest of the day, i will probably catch up on some sleep. of course, the weather is supposed to turn to shit later today. figures, i have to take mom to get an injection into her back on Tuesday.

so, mom called the company she used out at the farm to look at our garage door yesterday. at least, she thought it was the company she used. turns out it wasn't but it worked out well. they checked it out and of course, like most things in this house, our garage door opener was the cheapest kind you could get when it was put in 25 years ago. one of the brackets broke when i opened it yesterday. they offered mom a discount on a new opener and thankfully, she took the offer. about 45 minutes later, we had a top of the line garage opener with a lifetime warranty. as i told her, it will be worth it in the long run.

i hope everyone had a great Saturday. hopefully, your Sunday will be even better.

i have no clue when i'll be on here on Monday.

Siempre es una alegría derrotar a tus rivales.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Warren Haynes - Your Wildest Dreams
Tom Waits - Chocolate Jesus
Paul Thorn - Bull Mountain Bridge
John Prine - Paradise (Live)

"There is little success where there is little laughter." - Andrew Carnegie

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

and when it rains...

we've had over an inch of rain between last night and today. i guess it's a good thing i got the leaves down to the curb when i did. there's no fucking way i would even try to do it now. mom gets into these moods around the holidays where she wants everything looking nice and clean. it makes me laugh, because the rest of the days, she couldn't give a shit.

thankfully, i got the leaves done before the New Orleans Saints game started yesterday. the Saints absolutely destroyed the Eagles, 48-7. they play Atlanta at home on Thanksgiving night. the last time the Saints were on a run like this was the year they won the Super Bowl. i sure as hell would love to take that ride again.

WWE Survivor Series last night was interesting. the matches i wanted to be good were excellent. the match between Buddy Murphy and Mustafa Ali was great. and Charlotte beating the shit out of Ronda Rousey was really good. the rest of the card, sadly, was blah at best. and honestly, it should never be like that.

the season finale of Last Week Tonight was hilarious, as always.

Camping was pretty funny last night.

Axios was really good last night.

Ray Donovan was excellent last night.

Enemies: The President, Justice & the FBI was good last night. it was all about Watergate. it is kind of funny that it's beyond obvious that the asshole that runs the country is more or less using the Nixon playbook. hopefully, they end up the same way. the next episode is about Iran-Contra.

Escape at Dannemora was very good last night. this will be a show that will win some awards, i can tell that from the first episode.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight and The Voice. i'll be watching Monday Night Raw for most of the evening.

the New York Rangers play tonight at home against Dallas. hopefully, their good play at home will continue. i'd love to see them get a win tonight.

i might watch some of the NFL game tonight. the Rams vs. Chiefs should be a good one.

i went to the bank today to make a deposit. it was gloomy as fuck today.

i did do a little poetry work today. i know where my next 6 poems are going. i'm hoping that will happen before Thanksgiving.

i do have a PayPal account now. so, if you want to just give me money, that would be nice.

i hope everyone had a great weekend.

no dejes que la araña te preocupe

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

George Michael - One More Try
Bob Dylan - Farewell, Angelina
Johnny Cash - Hurt

"Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself." - Dick Cavett

and now your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:

Sunday Funday

oh, where to begin? yesterday into this morning was one of those segments of my life where nearly every emotion possible danced through my mind.

Ohio State flirted with disaster yesterday, for the entire game. i did get a good laugh when karma struck in OT and Maryland finally crashed back to reality. on the play before they went for the two point conversion to win the game, it was beyond fucking obvious that it wasn't a touchdown to begin with. i was somewhat shocked they didn't review it, considering how fucking obvious it was. so, and here's where karma strikes, the Maryland quarterback missed an incredibly easy throw that would have won the game for Maryland and make them bowl eligible. Ohio State won 52-51 in OT. it was painfully obvious that Ohio State was looking past Maryland and on to the Michigan game. now, that's all that stands between them and a chance for another Big Ten title.

the New York Rangers defeated Florida last night, 4-2. i didn't watch any of the game. i am happy that The King is now in 7th place in wins for goalies  in NHL history now.

Saturday Night Live was pretty funny last night.

Austin City Limits was great last night.

Shut Up and Dribble was excellent last night.

ROH was really good last night.

NXT Takeover: War Games II was fucking amazing last night. and i will bet anyone that it will end up being better than Survivor Series tonight.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Axios, Camping, Last Week Tonight, Escape at Dannemora, Ray Donovan and Enemies: The President, Justice & the FBI.

i'll be watching WWE Survivor Series for most of the evening. i'm only looking forward to two of the matches: Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura and Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar. i'm really hoping the rest of the matches surprise me.

the New Orleans Saints play this afternoon against the Eagles. i'd love to see the Saints win their 9th game in a row today.

the muse told me she loved me this morning. she knows it's not the relationship i want, but she does love me. i told her that those three words means so much coming from my best friend. and while we don't have the relationship i want (i want to marry this woman one day), i do love our friendship and hope it only gets stronger.

so yeah, sometime today, there probably will be poems.

i hope everyone had a great Saturday. hopefully, your Sunday will be even better.

los sueños se convierten en pesadillas con demasiada facilidad en estos días

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Janelle Monae w/Miguel - PrimeTime
The Black Angels - Evil Things
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Push the Sky Away

"Poems are a form of music, and language just happens to be our instrument - language and breath."
                                                                                             - Terrance Hayes

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day: