i guess i am numb to this anymore...

 so, mom got a call yesterday that i don't think either one of us were expecting. my cousin's husband died yesterday morning. now, he wasn't in the greatest health to begin with, but dying in your early 60's isn't exactly the norm anymore. fuck, i can remember being in their wedding back in the 80's. those memories coming back yesterday was a bit of a mind fuck. but, i look at it like this... he's no longer in pain and the house isn't in his name. at least my cousin won't have to go through that nightmare. and, he chose cremation, so there isn't the need to spend a ton of money on a funeral. the absolutely shitty thing was yesterday was the birthday of their daughter. i can't imagine her pain and loss right now.

so, the friend i was hoping to meet up with yesterday didn't text me back until after 4 PM. i'm not sure what she had going on as she never texted me back after the initial text. i'm never sure why people will say yes to doing something and then never contact the person when something comes up, etc. i mean, i'm not a fucking asshole 100% of the time. i do understand that life gets in the fucking way sometimes. but when someone claims they want to be with you and the last two attempts have gone haywire and sideways, i can't help but wonder, what the fuck is really going on. and with my lack of self esteem, it is always going to come back to what is wrong with me. i will ask the peanut gallery to pipe down, that was rhetorical. 

the New Orleans Saints won yesterday at home against Chicago, 24-17.

i did watch a few NFL games yesterday and last night.

here are your NBA highlights from last night:

Big Brother was good last night. the final 3 are Jag, Matt and Bowie Jane.

Power Book IV: Force was really good last night. the season finale is next week.

Last Week Tonight was BRILLIANT as usual.

Shining Vale was fucking hilarious last night.

Fellow Travelers was excellent last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be The Voice and Monday Night Raw.

the Dayton Flyers play tonight at home against SIU-Edwardsville. hopefully, they will win, easily.

i will probably watch some of the NFL game tonight between the Chargers and Jets.

i guess our kitchen remodel will be happening after Thanksgiving. so, now my main job is going to be controlling mom's anxiety with all this. wish me luck.

i hope everyone had a great weekend.

i should be on here tomorrow after mom has physical therapy.

until tomorrow kids...

fight the power.

fuck racism.

fuck hatred.

fuck war.

fuck the police.

black lives matter.

stay healthy.

wash your fucking hands.

stay off the fucking streets.

get the fucking shot.

Supongo que ya estoy adormecido por esto

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

EARTHGANG w/Spillage Village - Blacklight

Ministry - Just Stop Oil

Great Howl - Violent Wind

Jeremy Pinnell - Angel of Mine

Guided By Voices - The Race Is On, The King Is Dead

"People, by and large, would rather be talking than listening." - Mike Nichols

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day: