nothing lasts forever

today has been a weird one for me. my uncle had his first of many trips to various doctors this week today. my mother went with him. the weird part is so did my uncle's daughter, who just happens to be the cousin that molested me. now, part of me will always hate the fact that my mother and father did absolutely nothing after i told them i was molested. hell, there's a part of me that will forever think that my father thought i deserved it. and since that fucker is dead, i guess that thought never changes. the tricky part for me is do i choose to be my usual asshole self and make my uncle's cancer scare/diagnosis/whatever the fuck it is about me or do i yet again, swallow my pride and just play along like nothing ever happened. 35 fucking years of this shit bubbling inside me and i'm expected to just let it all slide off my back and go on living. i suppose what hurts the most is no one, friends, family, any soul on this earth, truly gives a shit that my childhood was robbed from me and the sexual dysfunction i was blessed with in hindsight has ruined my adult life. i guess i'm supposed to just accept that shit happens and i'm to just grow old and deal with it. i recently wrote a poem that ended if losers are the glue of the world, i should think about changing my name to Elmer. one of my many sad, funny lines that cuts so fucking deep both ways.

sorry if i blindsided anyone with that right out of the box on a Monday. part of my beauty is i have no filter and what you see is what you get. not that that has actually worked for me in my life, but what the fuck am i to do?

the New Orleans Saints won one of the craziest fucking football games i have ever seen yesterday. Eli Manning (my NFL.com fantasy QB) threw 6 touchdowns yesterday but Drew Brees tied the NFL record by throwing 7 touchdowns as the Saints won 52-49. thank god i didn't have either defense in my fantasy lineups yesterday.

my NFL.com fantasy football team was the only one to do anything yesterday. both of my CBS teams got crushed. so much for those winning streaks. i did pretty good with my picks though. if Carolina wins tonight, i'll go 11-3 again for the second week in a row.

Homeland was excellent last night. always good to see Carrie going even crazier. The Affair was great last night. i suppose if i ever did have an adult relationship, it would be fucked up like the ones on the show. Last Week Tonight hit another home run, once again showing why i hate politics in this country:

enjoy some music kids:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Gotham and The Voice. i will be watching Monday Night Raw and Breaking Ground on the WWE Network.

i did watch the last few innings of the World Series last night. i wish the Yankees played more like the Royals. put the ball in play, take the extra base, force the defense to make a play. but, if you're going to have a team full of old guys, that will never happen.

my fantasy hockey team shit the bed last night so i am now in last place in the division. thank god it's still early.

i will be on here early tomorrow as Manchester United plays in the Champions League. i figure i better do the blog before the game as i might regret something i type after the game, especially the way they have been playing here lately.

i hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. i guess my sister got to see Robben Island today. it's funny, she's complained about so much of South Africa being so depressing. i just looked at mom and said maybe if she actually learned shit for more than just the test, this wouldn't be such a surprise. once the asshole, always the asshole.

hope this finds everyone with a cold drink in your hand and not a cold member of the opposite sex.

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Ghost - Cirice
Lucero - I Woke Up In New Orleans
Otis Redding - I Love You More Than Words Can Say
Alabama Shakes - Joe (Live from Austin City Limits)

"I hate looking backward, but every once in a while it sneaks up on you." - Burt Lancaster

and your pro wrestling video of the day: