misery, revisited

just when i thought i had things under control, the demons came back and pulled me back under. i was feeling pretty good yesterday morning and then the afternoon came. my stomach started to get that feeling again and sure enough, back to the toilet. i thought i had got rid of the bug so now my mind was focusing on possible food poisoning or something along those lines. i finally got it to stop before my evening started, which made the night much easier. and i took it easy today. dry toast for breakfast. at lunch i got adventurous and had grilled cheese and a banana. and then came my first solid shit in days. i look down and see dark green stool that in my head is fucking black. and black stool i associate with blood. and blood in the stool i associate with cancer and death. sure, my mind races at times. if this continues it will mean a trip to the hospital for sure. i'm hoping after a few days of plenty of water and "safe" food, dark green stool will be removed from my memory banks. until then, i'll simply ponder my death and do some more writing. good times.

the New York Rangers played a great game last night and for the first time since 1939, they have forced a game 7 in a series they were trailing 3-1. a HUGE 3-1 win. and it had storybook written all over it. Martin St. Louis scores the first goal, on Mother's Day, three days after unexpectedly losing his mother. when that happened, i knew they were going to win. game 7 is Tuesday. needless to say, i will be fucking wired for that one.

the Yankees lost again, this time on a walk off. 2 tough losses to finish a road trip is never a good thing. and they now have 3/5 of their starting rotation injured. this team is barely staying afloat at the moment. they play the Mets tonight to start the Subway Series. i'll watch a little of it but i'm so wrapped up in other shit at the moment, i'll only watch more if i need to sleep.

also tonight will be the semi-finals of The Voice, Louie, and Monday Night Raw. throw in some playoff hockey and basketball, and it will be another schizophrenic night of television for me.

last night i got to see everything i wanted to see, minus a few minutes of Last Week Tonight as a huge thunderstorm rolled through at 2:20 AM and knocked the satellite out for 3 minutes or so. the Rangers game got over in time for me to see the debut of Penny Dreadful. FUCKING BRILLIANT. i urge everyone to see this show. i can't emphasize it enough. it was great. Nurse Jackie and Californication were awesome last night. Total Divas really made me laugh, especially Natty's paintings. hideous. Veep was funny as always. Silicon Valley made me laugh. Last Week Tonight is always great. but, the only reason i was able to stay up the entire time was the adrenaline from the hockey game. i think i'm still wired from it.

got the t-shirt i ordered from Opie today. i can't wait to wear that around this backward ass town. that should get a few looks.

i was hoping that thunderstorm last night was going to bring some poetry, but it didn't. it did help me get 5 hours of sleep, so that was good. it feels like summer here today. a little humid, blazing sun, insects... kind of hard to forget there are no fucking seasons anymore. it's really just hot or cold. that's it. and climate change doesn't exist. what a bunch of fucking dumb asses.

that's all for me today. i'll try to get on here early tomorrow as i will be in my game 7 mode all day long. i hope everyone had a great weekend. hope all the mother's enjoyed yesterday. be well. be creative. be the motorcycle weaving through traffic on the highway. or be the asshole that cuts him off and laughs when he wrecks. it's all good.

peace and chicken grease fools...

music:

Beck - Odelay
Concrete Blonde - Bloodletting
The Band of Heathens - Hurricane
Portugal. The Man - Purple, Yellow, Red and Blue
Los Lonely Boys - 16 Monkeys

"Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." - George Carlin