sometimes the depression gives way to something worse...

i'm not sure what to call this head space i find myself in. it's not a depression, it's not an apathy fueled self destructive phase, it's not even the blahs... i suppose it's like a transcendental crisis of some nature, the thought that death would cure something that doesn't exist per se, while fully knowing the pain is riding all of you into this void, creeping closer to whatever addictive nature inside of you exists. my blood sugar numbers always go up when i don't drink. so, to be a better diabetic, i need to be an alcoholic. talk about a catch 22. add in my mother's passive aggressive nature and my intolerance for such bullshit, and you have a lovely combination for a weekend to explode. mind you, i don't have the energy anymore.

i think i turned off the Yankees game last night in the middle of the bottom of the first inning. i would check the score every now and then, but it never got any better. the Yankees lost to the Red Sox again, 10-5. hopefully, they will flip the script this afternoon, but i'm not counting on it.

Vice News Tonight had another great week of shows.

Shangri-La was really good last night. next week is the finale.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be ROH and NJPW. i'll probably watch the Smackville special sometime tonight on WWE Network.

my sister came down today. i was so fucking tired, i didn't even hear the doorbell when she arrived. of course, she has a key, so... she's at a surprise party at the house of the cousin that molested me right now. don't even get me started.

i think the city is doing the fireworks tonight. i have no damn clue if i will be interested in watching them or not.

i'm doing my laundry today, trying to be productive while my mind is lost somewhere.

i have no clue when i will be on here tomorrow.

i hope everyone has a great Saturday. call if you need bail money.

probablemente solo necesito drogarme

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Tori Amos - Angie
Lana Del Rey - Venice Bitch
Natalie Merchant - Beloved Wife
Angie McMahon - If You Call

"You think of floating on a rock in space as so alien, but that's exactly what we're doing."
                                                                                             - Winnie Harlow

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day: