a ray of light in a sea of darkness...

i know right from wrong. i am a good person deep within, no matter what the poems happen to say. i never wanted to be an angel to anyone, but a good deed can be misread by any soul. i was brushing my teeth today and the nerves in my left shoulder started to fire. deep down, i think my central nervous system is starting a revolution. and being the stubborn creature i am, i'll drink it away and just accept the consequences. my mother drilled into my head when i was a child, choices and consequences. she was horrified when i accepted the consequences of anything that might kill me. i'm 42, holding on, and still waiting to cross the final line. there's a woman in Rome that is stealing my heart. given this tragedy i am living, i'll die on the flight over. none of this is supposed to make sense. that's the only way i am able to get a measly 4 hours of sleep a day. rinse and repeat. crisis and chaos be damned. the thought that someone actually wants to hold me is what keeps me from going to a tall building and testing gravity. of course, that someone is 6 hours ahead of me in time and lord knows, i am not allowed such feelings at this point of my life. society says i should be defeated, lost, left to those in the small circles of the small press. this is what happens when you know you are mentally ill but won't accept any pills to live a sanitized life. sabotage is my middle name. if you knew how much evil i suppress each day. it's like swallowing a world of shit with each breath. joy is being pulled in a thousand directions by just one soul. a soul that can only accept any help on her terms and her terms alone. i think i heard my first blues song when i was 5 years old. being sexually abused at 4, i was able to understand the pain way too early in my life. that's not a good recipe to have friends or fall in love. Otis Redding plays me to sleep each night. a lonely saxophone cries in the distance. somewhere Kerouac and Charlie Parker ask me to cook up a shot for them. glamour is dying with a little bit of style. my dreams tell me all i need to know. none of it will ever happen. any of us will be lucky to die indoors. i refuse to have a pet. i know what they do to dead bodies.

here is your World Cup update:
Portugal defeated Morocco 1-0. actually CR7 defeated them as Portugal sat back for most of the game. Uruguay won 1-0 over Saudi Arabia. that puts Uruguay and Russia through to the knockout round. Spain defeated Iran 1-0, although Spain did their best to shit that lead away for most of the second half. tomorrow, the games are Denmark vs. Australia, France vs. Peru and Argentina vs. Croatia.

the New York Yankees won last night against Seattle, 7-2. they got some great pitching (only gave up 2 hits) and the Yankees hit 4 home runs last night. that's a good recipe to win most games. hopefully, they will win again tonight.

Smackdown was really good last night. thank god they are finally giving Rusev a push.

205 Live was excellent last night.

Deadliest Catch was pretty good last night.

The Jim Jefferies Show was hilarious last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight and Lucha Underground. i'll watch NXT sometime tonight on WWE Network.

mom paid me today so i made a nice run to the bank this afternoon. and since the broadsides arrived today, i made a trip to the post office as well. and i got back in time for the third World Cup game.

i have no clue when i'll be on here tomorrow. as you can tell from the first part of this blog, there are some poems swimming around these parts.

that's all for me kids.

a veces tu propia mierda puede matarte

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

music:

Mobb Deep - Shook Ones Pt. 2
Bruce Springsteen - The Ghost of Tom Joad
Charles Bradley - Why Is It so Hard?
David Gray - This Years Love

"Creative people are notoriously the slowest to adopt new technology." - Robert Rodriguez

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day: