yesterday was pretty much a day i would like to forget. although, the demons inside of me don't allow for such things. i can remember shit from when i was 2 years old. what makes me think i'll be able to forget a stupid argument with my mother and an 18 inning baseball game that was something resembling a slow death.
first with the baseball...
the Yankees lost 3-2 in 18 innings yesterday in one of the most frustrating games i have had the pleasure/horror of watching since i became a Yankee fan in 1982. i would rather eat paint chips than describe how the fuck a team could leave a small village on base in just extra innings alone. they start a series tonight in that house of horrors in Anaheim. not sure if i will watch the game or not. i have so many bad memories of games from that place that i might end up watching 'whatever' instead.
as for the argument...
when it happened i was a little dumbfounded how a shit day at work could become taking some shots below the belt. but, while bagging my 6th bag of shredded paper (that number is now at 10 by the way) it dawned on me. yesterday was the birthday of my stepfather. throw the gasoline of grieving for a true love on top of a bad day at work, and i understand why i was caught in the gunfire. that's the beauty of dysfunction i suppose, there's always some psychological seed that shit comes from.
so, in case my mother reads this, contrary to what you may believe when you are angry and simply pissed off because you are turning 60 this weekend while the love of your life rests in an urn, i do love you. always have and always will. and i know i'm not exactly the best at showing it. but, i am trying to get better.
a hello to the muse. see, i told you i would find a way to get you into this blog. i hope you feel better soon and have a great weekend.
my sister will be coming down this weekend. i'm interested to see her new car. and hopefully talk her into buying some poetry.
other than that, hopefully this weather continues for the weekend. mid 70's with decent humidity, can't get much better than this. so, of course it's supposed to rain.
no critter update as the last raccoon and the groundhog have grown wise to the traps. little fuckers.
i hope everyone has a great weekend.
music today:
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Push The Sky Away
Mazzy Star - So Tonight That I Might See
"Great things are done when men and mountains meet." - William Blake
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