i believe it was around 2:30 in the morning that i had a horrifically painful cramp in my left calf. that actually woke me up, howling in pain. i took a pain pill and got online. i checked out Google news and probably let out the loudest 'oh fuck no' in my life. Maggie Estep dead at 50. totally crushed me. she was a HUGE influence on my early work. i would read everything she put out. it was just her style and balls out attitude that i loved and wanted my work to be like. of course, i was 19 at the time and hadn't lived enough for my work to be that way. so, i went on YouTube and started to look up her poems and basically have my little moment for one of my favorite poets. 50 is way too fucking young to die.
so the rest of the morning was this haze of trying to sleep while trying to not get completely depressed. i managed to do neither. so, i have basically been running today on about 2 hours of sleep. i'm sure this will all catch up with me as i am undoubtedly taking years off of my life.
thankfully, team USA played some hockey this morning, so i had something for my mind to be distracted with. and the USA did their part, whipping Slovakia 7-1. i didn't expect that and neither did any of the "experts". they play a huge game against Russia Saturday morning. that will be a good test to see how good they really are.
i spent most of the rest of the day watching some hockey and putting ice on my lower back. this winter hasn't beaten the shit out of me. it did warm up a bit here today, but not enough to really start to melt anything. and we're supposed to have some snow in the morning. nothing major but probably enough to fuck up all the morning traffic.
amazingly, i actually got a credit card offer today that was too good to pass up. so, now i'll get cash back as my reward instead of miles since quite frankly, after the blood clots, the bad back, and the pinched nerve in the neck, the last thing i'm thinking of doing is fucking traveling.
the Dayton Flyers killed off an old demon last night with a 76-69 win over Rhode Island. that actually puts them on the bubble again for the NCAA tournament. i really like the way this team is trending. i'd love to see them keep this winning streak going. now, the shitty thing is, i don't think they have lost since i fucked up my neck. and you know exactly what my superstitious ass is thinking...
so, 2 victory beers after a week of nothing. that's helped the pain some.
no clue what i'll be watching tonight. i'm going to try to watch something that doesn't involve the Olympics, Derek Jeter, or sad music. but i'll make no promises.
hope this finds everyone well. for the men reading this, i hope you have got your shit together for tomorrow before you actually read this. and ladies, the same shit goes for you.
be well, be warm, be something greater than the asshole stealing your oxygen in front of you at the store.
music:
Ice Cube - Greatest Hits
"Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries." - Bill Cosby
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