two really good basketball games and a lonely soul...

the First Four games last night were excellent. Fairleigh Dickson came from behind to defeat Prairie View A&M, 82-76. in the second game, Belmont defeated Temple, 81-70. both games were very entertaining. sadly, my seat is the first one in the row, so i spent most of the night getting up for people coming in and out. i also had my depression sneak into me last night. i was sitting there watching the game, watching all these fuckers on their phones, etc. i started talking to myself underneath my breath, noticing all these guys with their wives and girlfriends and how i was there alone. i'm not sure anyone spoke more than 5 words to me all night. it's the classic i've never felt more alone than in a crowd of people. but it's when the thoughts turn a little darker, the mind starts to really take a deep dive into this bleak life i have. and it's not that i think it's getting harder to repel the thoughts of suicide, it's that i don't have any hope they are going to go away soon. they never warn you while growing up that being a loner and being independent is so much harder than it looks on television.

tonight will be NC Central vs. North Dakota State and St. John's vs. Arizona State.

the Dayton Flyers lost last night at Colorado, 78-73. yet again, another night where i have no fucking clue what the head coach was fucking thinking. you leave your best player on the bench for 8 minutes in the second half, all because he picked up his 3rd foul. fucking stupid. and then, the players don't know when to foul, who to foul, etc. i know Colorado is a good free throw shooting team, but you might want to give yourself a chance to win. and after the game it was the usual, wait till next year. and with the coach saying all the strides made this year are going to make next year so good, etc., i hope that means when it doesn't happen, everyone at the school understands the mistake made by hiring Anthony Grant in the first place.

the New York Rangers lost to Detroit last night, 3-2. 5 losses in a row now. lose for Hughes boys.

i got home last night at midnight. mom and i talked for the last 3 days about the plans for food, etc. with these games. the plan was she was going to have some burgers ready for when i got home since she was going to be watching the games as well. she talked about making some bacon to go with the cheeseburgers and having some extra then for her breakfast in the morning. i watched her write all this down so she wouldn't forget it. sure enough, i got home and she had forgotten everything. this is why i fear leaving her alone at all anymore. it's next to impossible for me to enjoy my life when i know i am responsible for her. i always get the feeling i'm going to come home one day and she's going to be on the ground because she fell or her thoughts of suicide have won the battle. joy.

Smackdown was good last night, right up to the point where Vince fucked Kofi Kingston again. the payoff to this story better be fucking great, that's all i'm saying.

205 Live was really good last night.

The Jim Jefferies Show was fucking hilarious last night.

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight, You're The Worst and Drop the Mic. i'll watch NXT and NXT UK sometime tonight on WWE Network.

i have a splitting headache at the moment. i guess there's a chance of rain tonight.

the New York Yankees won yesterday. they are leading the Astros so far today. i think they have the best record in the majors this spring. of course, that doesn't mean much once the regular season starts.

i'll probably be on here in the afternoon tomorrow. the NCAA tournament games will be on all day and night long, so i'll squeeze a blog in probably during the early games.

hope everyone has a great Wednesday.

Me imagino la muerte como una dulce dicha

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

Mastodon - The Motherload
AC/DC - The Jack
Radiohead - The Bends
The Band - The Weight

"The spirit of truth and the spirit of freedom - these are the pillars of society." - Henrik Ibsen

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day: