so what do you do when your mother tells the doctor she's thinking of suicide?

for the last few months, i've been going into all of these doctor's appointments with my mother, mostly because her memory is shit anymore. so today, she was basically pissed off because she has to learn from the doctor who ordered the MRI what the results are, even though the doctor we were seeing today (the family doctor) knows the results. so mom vented about her frustration with the system and more than 3 times said why she has been thinking about killing herself. when the doctor left the room i told her you know he has to put that in his notes and keep it up and you'll be in the loony bin and there won't be a thing i can do for you. on the way home she started mentioning drugs she has stashed, just in case. and i'm supposed to be the crazy one in the family. joy.

thank fucking god that is the last doctor's appointment she has for the year. between her old employer not stopping her old insurance because they are fucking too lazy to do some paperwork and mom's total frustration with being unable to come to terms with her disabilities and forced retirement; add on to the fact that she is still in the grieving process for her husband that died in 2002, i've had about as much as i can fucking take with this shit at the moment.

the finale of The Voice last night reminded me just how racist this country still fucking is. as much as i knew Kirk and Kennedy were the best two, both are black, so the chances of them winning were slim. but the fact that they were 3rd and 4th is truly a fucking joke. i swear, i hope one year all 4 finalists are black. i guarantee the show will be ended when that happens.

Smackdown was really good last night.

the New York Rangers were losing 1-0 last night in the 3rd period. suddenly, Anaheim's legs got heavy and the Rangers took control. and holy shit, the Rangers ended up winning 3-1. i certainly did not expect that after the first two periods.

Manchester United found their caretaker manager...

enjoy some music:

and now some of this and that:

on the DVR tonight will be Vice News Tonight and New Day's WWE 2018 Special. i'll watch NXT, NXT UK and 205 Live sometime tonight on WWE Network.

i'll be at the Dayton Flyers game tonight against Western Michigan. honestly, if Dayton doesn't win tonight, i will be beyond fucking pissed. mom isn't going to the game with me tonight. i think she has realized she can't really sit for a couple hours and actually feel comfortable.

i have no clue when i will be on here tomorrow. i'd like to get some poetry work done in the morning. so, i'm shooting for the afternoon i guess.

best of luck to the last minute shoppers out there. your time is near.

un día alguien me amará

be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.

peace and chicken grease...

music:

The Raconteurs - Sunday Driver / Now That You're Gone
Sister Sparrow - Gold
MGMT - Time to Pretend

"I think you have to pay for love with bitter tears." - Edith Piaf

and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day: