my patience is incredibly thin today, mostly due to fucking humans. apparently, when the original measurements were taken for the kitchen remodel, they were either incorrect to begin with or written down wrong. all is fucking possible to be honest. the new pullout shelves showed up today and they were still too large. and the one that went into the upper part of our pantry was too fucking small. so, mom told the contractor to just put back the regular shelves for the rest of the pantry and forgot about it. the vent hood had a fucking dent in it. joy. and to top everything off, the fucking fridge is too big to fit in where it goes. i told mom i just want the contractor to cut out the two small cabinets that are there now so the fridge will fit and we can use the two small cabinets in the garage somewhere. mom's anxiety is through the fucking roof. and of course, today she found out when the surgery will be for her eyes. i have been up since 5:45 this morning and am running on 3 1/2 hours of sleep. good times.
AEW Dynamite was pretty good last night.
The Masked Singer was crazy as usual last night.
here are your NBA highlights from last night:
enjoy some music:
and now some of this and that:
on the DVR tonight will be Big Brother: Reindeer Games and NJPW.
i will probably watch some of the NFL game tonight between the Chargers and Raiders.
one way or another, i am really hoping the kitchen remodel is done tomorrow. i'm really fucking tired of making dinner in the living room.
i have no clue when i will be on here tomorrow.
i need to get a nice long nap in before i figure out what the fuck is for dinner tonight.
at least the old fridge is now in the garage and actually working. so, at some point we have to figure out where that is going and further clean out the fucking garage.
until tomorrow kids...
fight the power.
fuck racism.
fuck hatred.
fuck war.
fuck the police.
black lives matter.
stay healthy.
wash your fucking hands.
stay off the fucking streets.
get the fucking shot.
No tengo paciencia para un desastre.
be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.
peace and chicken grease...
music:
Midnight Maniac - I Heard it in a Nightmare
Oun Jweinat - Love We Battle
Jim Croce - You Don't Mess Around with Jim (Live)
Joe Bonamassa - Christmas Boogie (One Little Kiss)
Chuck Berry - Run Rudolph Run
"Nothing ever quite dies, it just comes back in a different form." - Lester Bangs
and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:
my father would have been 76 years old today. thank god he's fucking dead.
it has been threatening to rain all damn day. and of course, as soon as i got out into the driveway to go to Rite Aid, it started to rain. thankfully, my pills were ready and i found what mom needed pretty quickly.
Monday Night Raw was pretty good last night. i'm really hoping SummerSlam this Saturday is going to be good.
the two episodes of Miz & Mrs last night were hilarious.
enjoy some music:
and now some of this and that:
on the DVR tonight will be NXT and What We Do in the Shadows.
the Yankees play at the Mets tonight. two game subway series. hopefully, the Yankees will find a way to win.
the Red Scare play tonight in the TBT. they are playing the team that eliminated them two years ago i believe, so that should be interesting.
i have no damn clue what i am doing for dinner tonight. i need to pick up the trash and get that out. i did get most of mom's laundry done yesterday. of course, i wasn't thrilled making her bed at 1:30 in the morning. joy.
i should be on here tomorrow after i get the grocery shopping done.
until then kids...
fight the power.
fuck racism.
fuck hatred.
fuck war.
fuck the police.
black lives matter.
stay healthy.
wash your fucking hands.
stay socially distant.
get the fucking shot.
Ojalá tuviera un padre mejor
be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.
peace and chicken grease...
music:
Stone Gossard & Ani DiFranco - Disorders
Psycho & Plastic - Back and Forth
Josh Rouse - Hollow Moon
Jim Croce - You Don't Mess Around with Jim
Dada - Dizz Knee Land
"An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex." - Aldous Huxley
and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:
i think i spent most of yesterday in a fog of depression and pain. i don't think i'm quite out of that fog just yet, although the first poem of June arrived this morning and it's fucking brilliant. so, there is light at the end of the tunnel and it isn't a fucking train.
the curse of Dublin still exists for the USA men's national team. they were outplayed for most of the game yesterday but had the lead at halftime, 1-0. they couldn't find the goal they needed in the second half and saw Ireland score the eventual game winner in stoppage time. fuck me. the USA lost 2-1. in 6 days they will play France in Lyon. i'm hoping the kids will play and the USA won't lose by too many.
the New York Yankees won last night in Baltimore, 8-5. they can go for the series sweep this afternoon, weather permitting. (game has been rained out, doubleheader on August 25th)
here are your highlights from Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Final last night:
ROH was very good last night.
Patrick Melrose certainly struck a chord with me last night. the finale of this brilliant series will be next Saturday.
enjoy some music:
and now some of this and that:
on the DVR tonight will be Billions, I'm Dying Up Here, Westworld, Succession, Last Week Tonight, Total Bellas and Drop the Mic.
Game 2 of the NBA Finals is tonight. i will probably watch a little of that late, if the game is close.
and the laundry i didn't get to yesterday (all of it) will probably (hopefully) get done today.
i hope everyone had a good Saturday. i do hope your Sunday will be even better.
that's all for me kids.
a veces, debes disfrutar del descenso a la locura
be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.
peace and chicken grease...
music:
Jim Croce - You Don't Mess Around with Jim
Marianne Faithfull - The Ballad of Lucy Jordan
Concrete Blonde - Tomorrow, Wendy
"Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness." - Allen Ginsberg
and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:
first off, a happy memorial day to everyone that has served our country... regardless of my feelings about war or government or other bullshit about this country, i will always honor your service, commitment and ultimate sacrifice for this nation.
it's going to be another hot one day. i think they said it was going to be in the 80's. it's not so much that but the 90% humidity that has me feeling like i'm in hell. plus, my stomach isn't feeling great (i'm guessing a bad salad is the culprit) and i know if i go outside i will shit all over myself. enjoy that visual.
the New York Yankees only got 1 hit yesterday. thankfully, it was a 2 run home run to help win the game in Tampa 2-1. that was the first time they have won a game with 1 hit since 1914. they start a series tonight in Toronto.
the Sunday night shows were good last night. House of Lies was hilarious. Silicon Valley was very funny. Veep was excellent, mostly for using the word cunt countless number of times last night. and finally, Penny Dreadful was simply fucking amazing. the ending was a tension filled holy shit moment that was great. i simply love this show.
enjoy some music:
and now some of this and that:
nothing on the DVR tonight. i will be watching Monday Night Raw and some stuff on WWE Network afterwards. John Cena comes back tonight, so i'm getting my voice ready to boo the shit out of him.
if i do have a Memorial Day tradition, it's watching the NCAA Men's College Lacrosse finals. that happens this afternoon.
i believe the Stanley Cup Final starts tonight and there is Game 7 between Golden State and OKC tonight as well. i will probably be in and out of those games most of the night.
i listened to the latest Sam and Cathy podcast this morning. a very interesting one that i highly recommend.
i did see where Marcus Rashford signed a new deal with Manchester United today. that made me extremely happy. hopefully Mourinho plays him and he continues to score at will.
i hope everyone that is observing Memorial Day today has a good one. for those of you outside of the USA, i hope you enjoy your Monday.
be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.
peace and chicken grease...
music:
Joe Cocker - When the Night Comes
Jeff Buckley - Last Goodbye
Jim Croce - You Don't Mess Around with Jim
Johnny Cash - Hurt
Jimi Hendrix - Machine Gun (Live)
"The snake will always bite back." - Jake Roberts
and your whatever the fuck i wanted you to see video of the day:
and for some more shits and giggles, a video or two:
and while we're on the poetry shit, i sent out 16 poems late last night/early this morning. 3 each to Dead Snakes and The Camel Saloon. 5 each to Carcinogenic Poetry and Eye To The Telescope. when i hear back from these places i will pass along the verdicts.
so my sister called yesterday while the Yankees were playing. i guess my father died either yesterday morning or late Tuesday night. no one is really sure as his wife had a fucking stroke last Friday and is in a coma. that truly stopped me from enjoying what should have been a glorious moment in my life. i have waited for my father to die since the first time he stuck me in the corner for 6 hours as a punishment for not cutting the grass the right way. so, as you might imagine, this has been a total mind fuck for me. what kills me is to hear my sister say that his wife's grown kids say he was the father figure they needed in their life. that he was a great man. i spent all of last night wrapping my head around that one. i can only figure that he saw his own failures in his own kids. there was no "him" in the stepchildren. which of course leads me back to my own failures as a human. i have no clue when there will be a funeral or anything. i have no clue if he had life insurance or if he gambled away all of what he earned over his years at the post office. knowing how much my father hated me, i figure, i'm the oldest, i'll end up with a bill. i tried my hardest last night to think of some good times with him. i thought of the THREE times we played catch over the 18 years he was a part of my life. then i thought about the wrestling show he took me to in Springfield, Ohio where i actually hit Kamala with a paper cup. of course, i got punished for that, but it was a great show. but, that was it. the memories that came flooding back was him telling me he married my mother because he needed someone to knock the shit out of his underwear. the time he fell off a ladder at the pre-school i went to trying to put up a basketball hoop. that of course was my fault for not holding the ladder. i was 8 years old. the time i got in trouble for hitting a tree with the riding lawnmower. i was 7. the time he broke my door down when i told him he was a horrible father. that was the first time he told me he would kill me. the time i was 7 and got grounded for life for packing all my things and leaving. the time he tried to choke me to death for getting in trouble for writing dirty words in Spanish in a girl's yearbook in junior high. and then the last memory that came back to me last night was watching him get put in the back of the police car when he told the cops i was the one driving his Ford Bronco when he had his hit and run accident. i still remember telling my sister as we watched from the bedroom window that i just put a Vietnam Vet in jail, he's going to kill me. he of course had the money on him to bail himself out of jail. mom was at a nursing conference in Columbus. i called her and told her her oldest child is in jail. she said what did you do? and i said, not me, the one you fucking married. we spent that night in a hotel. writing this i can recall the time i watched him beat my mother with a 2x4. i found out via my sister that some of his family is now reading this blog. welcome. WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE LAST 22 YEARS? his whole damn family forgot about us once the divorce happened. i can understand not liking mom, but what the fuck did my sister and i do? if anyone EVER wonders why i despise family events or people in general, you may have a clue why. so i went to my room yesterday after i got the news and more or less did the same thing i did as a teenager when my father would upset me. i turned on "The End" by The Doors and just hit repeat.
hopefully my father's wife makes a full recovery or dies in peace. i wish her no pain and have absolutely no beef with her at all. as for my father, the sooner i can see him in the ground, the quicker i can start to actually let these fucking demons go. but i've got 39 years worth of shit to deal with. and this is the part where being a loner really fucking sucks. all my friends have lives and families to deal with. and i have the misfortune to always feeling like if i asked for help i would just end up being a burden. good times. there will be plenty of nights where i will be drinking myself to sleep. like i did last night. not sure if it was sleep or just pure exhaustion. but it was 4 hours of sleep knowing that the fucker that haunted my life since birth was no longer with us.
and to think, if i was born in December of 1975, my whole fucking life could have been different. but i will know until the day i die, my father hated the fact that since i was born in January of 1976, he had to wait an entire fucking year to write me off on the taxes. looking back, it feels like he tried to make damn sure he got that money back from me one way or another.
the only thing i will thank my father for... thank you for being such a piece of shit that i refuse to pollute the earth with anything that could possibly have your bloodline in it. thankfully, my sister has so far refused as well. good for you that you at least found the fucking guts before you died to treat someone in your life with some decency and respect. i just wish you would found the fucking guts to tell me to my face that you were sorry for all the fucking up and that you loved me. however long i have to live on this earth, i will know to the day i die, my father NEVER loved me. it makes it all clear now why neither you or mom did anything when i was molested. you probably thought i deserved it.
welcome everyone to the fucking cross i am stuck on for the rest of my life.
a quick musical break:
the Yankees pissed away chance after chance to win the game yesterday in extra innings. they lost 3-2 in 13 innings. somewhat appropriate... my lucky number is 13. given the news i got in the 8th inning, of course they would lose. they are off today and start a series up in Boston tomorrow.
NXT was really good last night. of course, any show that features Kevin Owens is going to be good.
Lucha Underground was excellent last night as well. and i watched the Mick Foley comedy special last night on the WWE Network, "Cheap Pops". much, MUCH better than i thought it was going to be. hopefully Mick will be in my area soon. i'll have to go check him out.
tonight is going to be one of the biggest clusterfucks on television i can ever remember. the New York Rangers start their second round series with the Capitals tonight. the NFL Draft starts tonight. the New Orleans Saints have 2 picks in the first round. already scheduled for my DVR is The Big Bang Theory, The Comedians and Louie. plus, the NBA playoffs are going on. fuck me runnin'.
another musical break, this time from late last night:
if you have made it this far, you deserve a prize. unfortunately, i'm a poor asshole that can only offer you a sticker. if you so desire, email me your mailing address and i'll get you something in the mail soon.
i'm going to try to get to the bank today before it rains. if i fail, i will go tomorrow. i suppose it wouldn't be bad to start off May with a nice deposit. fuck, the year is already a quarter gone. not much longer until i'm 40. that's when life really begins right?
that's all for me today. i thank you if you have read all of this drivel. feel free to leave comments or email me if you so desire. my skin is thick enough for the hate, so if my father's family wishes to call me a liar, please, go right ahead. or if you'd like to actually get to know the cousin you CHOSE to forget about, just like it was 22 years ago, all my information is public.
be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.
peace and chicken grease...
music:
The Band - I Shall Be Released
Otis Redding - A Change Is Gonna Come
Jim Croce - You Don't Mess Around with Jim
Cowboy Junkies - Powderfinger
The Doors - The End
"It doesn't hurt to feel sad from time to time." - Willie Nelson
today became a birthday of getting shit done. i woke up in a decent enough mood and decided to be a glutton for punishment. i started typing up poems. exactly how any asshole who thinks himself to be a poet should spend his time at 7 in the morning on his birthday. in my utopia, i would be getting a blowjob while eating grapes. in reality, i'm wondering why my fingers don't work as fast on this keyboard.
anywho, i sent 16 poems out today. 3 to The Camel Saloon and 6 each to ZYX and The Stray Branch. when i hear back from these places, i'll pass along the verdicts.
i deposited my birthday money today at the bank. i also entered the gift card my mother got me for amazon.com. i'm not planning on getting anything from there until the move is complete. but, once that happens, i feel sorry for the postal service. i also got a New Orleans Saints shirt, some comfy house shoes, a Dayton Flyers scarf, and a book about Dayton's run to the Elite 8 last season. all in all, not a bad birthday at all.
mom and i went to the sports bar for my birthday this afternoon. when the waitress found out it was my birthday, she asked if i was turning 21. i laughed and noticed the ring on finger and thought to myself, if only... the drinks were a little stiff, which i certainly didn't mind.
now for the sports last night... the Dayton Flyers were due for a stinker. of course, they chose to play that one on national television after getting ranked in the top 25 for the first time this season. they got whipped in every aspect of the game by Davidson last night, 77-60. and quite honestly, it wasn't that close. but, shit happens. they are still 15-3. they play Richmond at home on Saturday night.
while Dayton was playing like shit, the New York Rangers were following right along. to say i was frustrated was an understatement. thankfully, New York came alive in the 3rd period and got the game to OT. and then, this happened:
what a great fucking way to go into the All-Star break. here are the highlights from the whole game:
tonight i'm planning on watching Lucha Underground and American Horror Story. i might watch some hockey as well. and then late tonight, i'm going to catch up on some podcasts while eating some birthday cake.
i also got a haircut today. the barber almost didn't recognize me without my goatee. he then asked how old i was. when i told him i turned 39 today, he was stunned. he remembers when my mother brought me in as a child. now, the funny part of this is this may have been the first time we have spoken outside of how do you want this cut in over a decade. after that, we shot the shit about sports for the next 20 minutes or so.
thankfully, my truck started right up today. i hadn't started it for almost a month. of course, i had to put some air in the tires, but it ran great. that takes a huge burden off of my mind.
ok, that's all for me today. i have some birthday cake waiting for me. thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. i truly do appreciate them.
thanks again for allowing me to waste a few minutes of your precious time.
be well. be creative. be cool. be quick to send me CASH, panties, hate mail, love letters, broken promises and dirty pennies from heaven.
peace and chicken grease...
music:
Shinedown - Sound of Madness
Jim Croce - You Don't Mess Around with Jim
Dead Man Fall - Bang Your Drum
Nightwish - Ghost Love Score (Live)
Grant Lee Buffalo - Fuzzy
i was up again pretty late last night/this morning. but, this time i was busy doing some poetry work. i went through my poems and came up with 21 poems to send out later this week. i'm planning on sending to two places i have never sent before, so that's always interesting. more on that in the coming days.
i woke up to a lovely email from someone who i'm really hoping becomes someone special in my life.
ROH last night was excellent. all of the matches were top notch. if they ever get a major television deal, they could give the WWE a run for their money.
the Yankees were stopped yesterday by some great pitching and them sadly reverting back to what they did earlier this season. they couldn't get a hit with a runner in scoring position to save their life. they lost 3-0. they play again this afternoon to try to win the series.
the Paul O'Neill ceremony was very nice. it certainly brought back some great memories.
it will be another busy night of television tonight. Big Brother, Ray Donovan, The Strain, Last Week Tonight, and finally Masters of Sex. after all that, i'd love to get some sleep.
it certainly feels like it is going to rain today. i haven't taken down the trash yet. i'm waiting in hopes i will have a victory beer to recycle later this afternoon. it was really humid this morning when i was feeding the cats. watched Whitey take a piss and then try to rub up against me. i don't think she expected me to swat her away as quickly as i did. i did enjoy watching the three new kittens playing around with each other. once of these days i'll try to get a video or pictures of them.
that is all for me today. i hope this finds everyone having a great end to their weekend.
be well. be cool. be creative. be easy.
peace and chicken grease my enemies...
music:
Jim Croce - You Don't Mess Around with Jim
Ashley Monroe - Weed Instead of Roses
Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers - Start the Day Early
Dr. Dog - Shadow People
Tinsley Ellis - Kiss of Death
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." - Carl Jung
went to the doctor's office this morning to get some more blood drawn. i'm supposed to call tomorrow to get the results. i don't see that happening as i really don't give a shit one way or the other.
had to drive my mom around today as something is up with her left eye. i figure this will end up being my "job" before too long. and considering how much she has to go around this state, i better get used to her vehicle pretty damn quick.
i heard from my publisher today. it looks like Sofisticated White Trash has been delayed yet again. hopefully it will arrive in April.
and with all the poetry happenings today, i sat down and wrote 3 poems. not bad for having absolutely nothing going on in my head that i had to write about. 1 of them i really like. got a place in mind that i will be sending these 3 to, probably later on next month.
big tv night tonight. all going on at roughly the same time or running into each other, New York Rangers vs. Philadelphia Flyers, New York Yankees spring training game, The Voice, USA vs. Mexico in World Cup Qualifying. another night where i need that Elvis wall of televisions. and hopefully 2 victory beers before i call it a night.
i enjoyed the return of The Voice last night. it's one of the few reality shows that i actually enjoy.
as for Monday Night Raw, any show that ends with John Cena writhing in pain gets a big thumbs up from me. not that i actually watched much of it last night. anytime The Voice was in a commercial so was Raw. that got a little annoying after awhile.
good luck to the Dayton Flyers Women's team tonight against Kentucky. it would be nice to see them make it to the Sweet 16 this season. they certainly deserve it.
until tomorrow or whenever i post again...
music today:
Jim Croce - Photographs & Memories: His Greatest Hits
The xx - Coexist
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - The Heist
"A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom." - Robert Frost
